# Stupid Brazil Nuts **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 23, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993 "2007-12-23T03:02:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SharkB8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@SharkB8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SharkB8)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/61 "2008-01-15T00:13:00Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] –We’re back! Thank you, and welcome to the next round of _White Folk Say the Darnedest Things!_ For those viewers just tuning in at home, here’s how the game is played: each category features a topic with a Word (or Phrase) to Avoid. Contestants must attempt to describe the topic without using that word or phrase, and our celebrity panel will try to guess what they’re saying. As always, _racism must not be mentioned_; contestants must instead substitute a euphemism such as “offensive” or “non-PC.” There were no winners last round, so we’ll continue on with the category “ **Stupid Brazil Nuts**.” In just a moment, the Phrase to Avoid will flash at the bottom of your screens! Once again, the category is… “ **Stupid Brazil Nuts**.” **THE PHRASE TO AVOID IS:** [spoiler] **NIGGER-TOES.** Brazil nuts were also known as “NIGGER-TOES.”[/spoiler] [/QUOTE] Yet another black person checking in. My dad was from Alabama and my mom from the Bronx. I have always known them as n\*\*\*\*\*-toes since I was wee, and I’m 24 now. I guess I assumed there was a more PC name out there, but it never occured to me to care…until that fateful day… I was about 11, we’d just moved to Minnesota and I was following my mom around the produce section of our local grocery store when I spotted the nut in question. Giggling, I b-line to the cart where they spill out of a basket and hold one up above my head in triumph, waving it about to capture my mother’s attention. “Hey Mom! Hahaha! A nigger toe!” I yell, proud of my romance with humor. She then b-lines to me, snatches what she now calls a “Brazil nut” huh? from my hand, looks around and grins at the slack-jawed white people, throws it back into it’s basket and whispers, “Ixnay on the igger toe-nay.” We never spoke of the incident again, but there will always be a giggle on reserve for when we cross paths… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/62 "2008-01-15T00:14:29Z")
I was born in 1949, and I went to school in racially mixed schools. I’ll tell you sincerely that I never heard Brazil Nuts called by any other name than Brazil Nuts until I was in my twenties. Then, I finally heard them called niggertoes. Somebody had some at work, around Christmas time, and he offered me some. I must have looked surprised, and he said, “That’s what we always called them when I was a kid.” Another guy standing there confirmed it. Very matter-of-fact, as though I had learned another word for “oak tree.” Nobody tried to disguise it, nuh-GERT-o, for example. On the other hand, in the eeny-meeny-miny-mo choosing ritual, I had often heard kids say, “catch a nigger by the toe, if he hollers, let him go.” Mom had taught me “catch a monkey.” _Note: I tried to post this just before the board went out of service, so the train of thought may have played out several posts ago._ ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/63 "2008-01-15T00:20:16Z")
Well, I froze me a bag o’ Brazils, and am simultaneously delighted and horrified by the results. These li’l gems pop right out almost unscathed, even with my el cheapo nutcracker. If I should decide to purchase a quality cracker, such as the ones linked to in this thread, I should be able to extract the tasty nutmeats with all the ease and dexterity of the most talented hyacinth macaw. _Which means that I am a dead man._ When Brazil nuts are concerned, I have no self-control. The only thing preventing me from scarfing these things nonstop has been the fact that they’re so hard to open! And now that obstacle is gone, as is most of that first bag as I type this. Already I can feel my cells and organs swelling with toxic selenium. My chromosomes are probably breaking apart into their constituent base pairs even now. When they bury me, my corpse will glow in the dark. You killed me, **MadTheSwine**. I would never have thought to ask that question on my own. My ignorance was my shield; my sanctuary. **Squink** : your innocent little Hint from Heloise shot me in the back, and now I’m dead: I just haven’t stopped moving yet. You, all the “helpful contributors” to this thread, the Diamond Nut Company: my blood is on your hands-- cholesterol-choked, radium-contaminated, nutty-tasting blood. Hell will not hold me. I’ll be back. As a hyacinth macaw. You will all pray for death. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/64 "2008-01-15T00:24:55Z")
[QUOTE=Ghanima] No, see, that would be considered racist, because they call it that because it is _shabbily_ put together. There is a strong negative implication. Whereas Brazil Nuts are merely tasty. [/QUOTE] You don’t think the term refers to the [shape](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_brazilnut1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/details.php%3Fgid%3D98%26sgid%3D%26pid%3D1149&h=375&w=500&sz=120&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=fCcObBC5XxQ85M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522brazil%2Bnut%2522%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN) of the nut? Besides, the term "nigger’ itself has a strong negative connotation when used as those we’re talking about use it. You can’t gussy it up with platitudes. It’s been tried, and it doesn’t work. It’s a nasty word. Always has been and likely always will be. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/65 "2008-01-15T00:29:20Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] **Squink** : your innocent little Hint from Heloise shot me in the back, and now I’m dead: I just haven’t stopped moving yet. You, all the “helpful contributors” to this thread, the Diamond Nut Company: my blood is on your hands-- cholesterol-choked, radium-contaminated, nutty-tasting blood. [/QUOTE] Ahh, glad to hear that. It’s been too long since I had blood on my hands! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/66 "2008-01-15T00:35:32Z")
[QUOTE=MadTheSwine] I did too…but it broke. Any one know a cheap, easy way to fix it? [/QUOTE] Which one did you get? Here’s [mine](http://www.lehmans.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=1140&itemType=PRODUCT&RS=1&keyword=nutcracker). It takes a little practice, but I doubt it’ll break. Now I’ll look back and answer my own question. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/67 "2008-01-15T00:38:54Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] You don’t think the term refers to the [shape](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_brazilnut1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/details.php%3Fgid%3D98%26sgid%3D%26pid%3D1149&h=375&w=500&sz=120&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=fCcObBC5XxQ85M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522brazil%2Bnut%2522%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN) of the nut? [/QUOTE] That would be the “toe” part of the name - unless somehow that is a distinctly african toe-shape I’m unaware of - which was not the part of the name in question. Otherwise, they would just be called “toes,” right? Or toe-nuts. [Homer]Mmmmmm…toenuts…[/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/68 "2008-01-15T00:50:37Z")
[QUOTE=Ghanima] That would be the “toe” part of the name - unless somehow that is a distinctly african toe-shape I’m unaware of - which was not the part of the name in question. Otherwise, they would just be called “toes,” right? Or toe-nuts. [Homer]Mmmmmm…toenuts…[/Homer] [/QUOTE] So, wanna burn a fat one? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/69 "2008-01-15T01:08:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Freeze the macaw 24 hours before cracking > [@](#): > > Sure. You put him (her) in the freezer. Maybe we could just introduce the macaw to Kyle Rayner and wait. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/70 "2008-01-15T01:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Maybe we could just introduce the macaw to Kyle Rayner and wait. [/QUOTE] > [@](#): > > For a brief period, Kyle achieved godhood as Ion. This was after he absorbed the energy Hal Jordan had left in Earth’s sun during the Final Night incident, energy which had merged and grown with energies released after Oblivion’s defeat. With his new powers, Kyle could bend time, space, and reality. You [lost me](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_Rayner) some where. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/71 "2008-01-15T01:40:20Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] You [lost me](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_Rayner) some where. [/QUOTE] The joke’s a reference to Kyle’s girlfriend, [Alexandra DeWitt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_DeWitt): > [@](#): > > In Green Lantern vol. 3, #54, Kyle returns home to find that Major Force has strangled Alex and stuffed her in the refrigerator. > [@](#): > > Woman in Refrigerator syndrome > > Because of the brutal manner in which Alex is killed, and because of the different ‘significant others’ of superheroes that are constantly in danger of being killed, women in the series who are killed in a particularly violent manner are said to have suffered from the Woman in Refrigerator syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/72 "2008-01-15T01:42:54Z")
[spock]Ah.[/spock] :rolleyes: So, how did this become “thread spotted”? ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/73 "2008-01-15T01:46:25Z")
I think it was probably the near-certainty that the thread would eventually start spawning jokes about Green Lantern dating a macaw. Brazil nut threads always reach that point sooner or later. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/74 "2008-01-15T01:59:18Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] spawning jokes about Green Lantern dating a macaw. [/QUOTE] Well, yes, of course. But what sort of process is involved? Are we noticed by the Divine Cecil, is it a committee decision, or perhaps the infamous hampsters are responsible. _Pssst! Hey, Lennie, c’mere. It’s another one of those gawddamm Brazil Nut/McCaw/Green Lantern/N-word threads!"_ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/75 "2008-01-15T02:36:39Z")
[QUOTE=Ghanima] That would be the “toe” part of the name - unless somehow that is a distinctly african toe-shape I’m unaware of - which was not the part of the name in question. Otherwise, they would just be called “toes,” right? Or toe-nuts. [Homer]Mmmmmm…toenuts…[/Homer] [/QUOTE] Dunno how many toes of the nigger persuasion you’ve seen in your life but, um, how do I put this? Our toes are kinda nutty colored. You couldn’t call Brazil nuts “whitey toes”-- but-- maybe pecans? How 'bout we call walnuts “little white baby balls”? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/76 "2008-01-15T02:44:47Z")
> [@](#): > > You lost me some where. I knew I’d lose some people with that admittedly obscure joke. But the reason I love this board is that I knew there’d be plenty of people here who’d get it. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/77 "2008-01-15T03:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=Biggirl] Dunno how many toes of the nigger persuasion you’ve seen in your life but, um, how do I put this? Our toes are kinda nutty colored. You couldn’t call Brazil nuts “whitey toes”-- but-- maybe pecans? How 'bout we call walnuts “little white baby balls”? [/QUOTE] “little white baby balls”? Hey! Omigod, (looks down) they _do_ kinda look like that! :eek: **Biggirl** , I’ll bet you’re a real kick to, well, kick it with. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/78 "2008-01-15T03:15:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Well, yes, of course. But what sort of process is involved? Are we noticed by the Divine Cecil, is it a committee decision, or perhaps the infamous hampsters are responsible. Pssst! Hey, Lennie, c’mere. It’s another one of those gawddamm Brazil Nut/McCaw/Green Lantern/N-word threads!" I always figured that **TubaDiva** made that call, since that’s who the submissions are directed to. But maybe not. I agree with you that this particular thread seems like kind of an odd choice for submission, despite its wealth of useful information and undeniable cosmopolitan charm. However, I refuse to consider the possibility, even if true, that any of the SDMB administrators are all that fascinated by Brazil nuts, or by Green Lantern for that matter (though I remain convinced that Cecil would favor Hal). So I’m going to go with the hamster theory. “Never underestimate hamsters” is my motto. Seriously, they will mess you up. The Syrian hamster has been known to eat cats, and that is no joke. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/79 "2008-01-15T03:28:30Z")
I think the admins are all asleep. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993/80 "2008-01-15T03:29:25Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] The Syrian hamster has been known to eat cats, and that is no joke. [/QUOTE] But what about Syrian Hampsters vs. [Hyacinth Macaws?](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Hyacinth-House-lyrics-The-Doors/6FD6D0F2271064D2482568970032C516) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-brazil-nuts/430993.md?page=5)