# Stupid car dealer advertising jargon **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 22, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138 "2003-09-22T18:01:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/21 "2003-09-23T06:50:31Z")
My place of business is right across the street from a car dealership. They have a big sign out front that flashes messages, but most of the time just has the time and temperature. I look at their sign all the time because I usually forget to wear a watch and glancing out the front window is quicker than going in the back room and looking at the wall clock. A while ago they had “COME SEE THE MONKEY!” on the sign. I still dont’ know if they had an actual monkey or what. I wanted to go just to see the monkey, then leave after I’d seen it. Now it says “IT IS COMING! [blink] COMING SOON! [blink] DON’T MISS IT!” Doesn’t say WHAT it is. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/22 "2003-09-23T07:32:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aryk29 \* > **Aaaaaaaaurgh! I’d have gone in there and told them off. Seriously, it’s my biggest pet peeve when somebody calls an ape a monkey. A gorilla is not a monkey.** Are you perhaps a librarian? At a magical university? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/23 "2003-09-23T07:37:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > \*\ ***NurseCarmen** , I hate that damn gorilla on Rudy Luther’s Toyota dealership at 169 and 394. I hate it. It is my nemesis. > > From hell’s heart I stab at thee, for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. > > Goddamn gorilla. \*\* It’s the replacement for the old McCarthy sign that they tore down to pave the way for Best Buy’s world headquarters in Richfield. New “lovable landmark.” ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/24 "2003-09-23T07:41:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\*Are you perhaps a librarian? At a magical university? \*\* Ook. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/25 "2003-09-23T09:46:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aryk29 \* > \*\ ***Aaaaaaaaurgh!** I’d have gone in there and told them off. Seriously, it’s my biggest pet peeve when somebody calls an ape a monkey. A gorilla is not a monkey. > > Just lousy car salesman showing off what idiots they are. Perhaps the inflatable Bonzi could do the job better and would be a better candidate when they’re hiring. \*\* That’s why it’s a pun, see? Because the sign says “No monkey buisness” and the model is _not_ of a monkey, but a Gorilla. No, I don’t believe that either. But surely the laws of averages dictate at least one car dealer who knows the difference…? [hopes] ---
**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/26 "2003-09-23T11:16:10Z")
Every credit application will be accepted! Uh, is there ever a time when someones application isn’t “accepted”? As if we won’t notice the part they leave out… “Every credit application will be accepted! And many of them will be rejected!” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/27 "2003-09-23T11:21:46Z")
My personal favorite is “Every Credit Application ACCEPTED!!” Yeah, they’ll accept your application - just fill it out and hand it to them and they’ll accept it. Now, whether you get approval is quite another issue. Incidentally, having a bit of a sorta-insider’s view of at least one car manufacturer - those particular dealerships don’t just order cars to sell - they are _told_ by the manufacturer how many of what kinds of cars they will buy. I can’t say that’s true of all, but I know it’s the way one domestic car maker does business. And on preview, I see that I was beaten to my application comment, but it stands anyway. Now I’m gonna pout. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/28 "2003-09-23T13:15:59Z")
Most frustration-causing one I’ve seen in a local TV ad: “We’ll give you at least up to $3,000 for your trade-in!” At least? Up to? Self-contradictory. Brain seizing. Must reboot. INVALID\_PAGE\_FAULT. IF THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE SEEN THIS SCREEN, PLEASE… -Joe, brainlocked ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/29 "2003-09-23T13:59:31Z")
Here in Chicagoland, some of the dealers have decided that the Saturday-morning half-hour infomercial is the way to go. It’s actually kind of funny – a half hour of hot-looking women parading around used cars and a smarmy announcer bellowing about HOW LOW THE MONTHLY PAYMENT IS! And it’s not just one dealership, there seem to be about three or four in rotation doing the same thing. Used car salesmen bad, infomercials bad, used-car infomercials REALLY REALLY bad. ---
**Author:** ![Mars\_Horizon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mars_horizon/32/2804_2.png) [@Mars\_Horizon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mars_Horizon)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/30 "2003-09-23T14:21:10Z")
My favorites are the ones that claim that OUR NEW CAR MANAGER ORDERED TOO MANY CARS SO NOW WE HAVE TO SELL THEM AT BELOW INVOICE!!! I want to say Great - and while you’re at it - fire the idiot new car manager for ordering so many cars, and make sure his replacement took some basic business classes! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qburn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/bc79bd/32.png) [@Qburn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qburn)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/31 "2003-09-23T16:54:16Z")
Ever hear a spot for cars at a really low price, then at the end the announcer spouts out VIN #s? Well that is _the specific car_ at that price. The other cars on the lot are at the regular, inflated, MSRP(dealer sets actual retail price). Yeah, great commercial, great low price, but only one car at that price. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/32 "2003-09-23T17:42:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kp\_72110 \* > Uh, is there ever a time when someones application isn’t “accepted”? > > As if we won’t notice the part they leave out… “Every credit application will be accepted! And many of them will be rejected!” Actually, in my experience, they really _do_ accept all applications. You might have to put 95% down at 23%, of course, but they’d love to take your money. ---
**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/33 "2003-09-24T03:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PoorYorick \* > \*\*Actually, in my experience, they really _do_ accept all applications. You might have to put 95% down at 23%, of course, but they’d love to take your money. \*\* Accepting and approving are 2 entirely different things. All the commercial implies by “accepting” is that you can fill out the paperwork and they will accept it for perusal. (before they tell me to get my broke-no credit/fucked up credit having- ass on down to Willy’s used car lot) ---
**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/34 "2003-09-24T03:31:55Z")
BTW- Sorry, FairyChatMom. :mad: I’ll try to wait for you to post next time! I’m going to go stand in the corner now until I feel I’ve learned my lesson. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/35 "2003-09-24T10:17:36Z")
Glad you learned your lesson, **kp\_72110** - you need to work on anticipating my every comment and thought, then be ready to jump in and agree with me. Oh yeah - and send chocolate. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/36 "2003-09-24T21:19:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\*Are you perhaps a librarian? At a magical university? \*\* I wish. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/37 "2003-09-24T21:21:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > **That’s why it’s a pun, see? Because the sign says “No monkey buisness” and the model is _not_ of a monkey, but a Gorilla.** You have a point. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/38 "2003-09-24T21:37:17Z")
“Come in and see our huge selection of pre-owned cars.” “Pre-owned?” Just for little old me? Could you come over to the house and “pre-chew” my food for me while you’re at it? ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/39 "2003-09-25T04:50:48Z")
“NO REASONABLE OFFER WILL BE REFUSED!!!” If people were making you reasonable offers and you were refusing them, you wouldn’t be much of salesman now, would you? Thanks, but I’ll be looking for a dealer who admits he may have to accept an _un_reasonable offer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Phouchg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/41988e/32.png) [@Phouchg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phouchg)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138/40 "2003-09-25T14:19:15Z")
When you have copious free time, you must read [Confessions of a Car Salesman](http://www.edmunds.com/advice/buying/articles/42962/article.html) he proves in there that salespeople and managers live in their own little world, and things which seem dorky to normal people are quite hip in that strange subculture. My favorite? We have one TV commercial locally with the sales manager spouting cliche after cliche: “You’ve shopped the rest, now shop the best!” blah blah blah “If you want to pay more, that’s your business - if you want to pay less, that’s OUR business!” blah blah blah “we don’t care about your past, we care about your future” - all with this smarmy dumbass grin. I change the channel every time it comes on (which seems like every half hour). Slightly off topic: Last I was out and had to make a u-turn, and accidentally did it in the driveway of a large dealership. I kid you not, 3 salespeople rushed over yelling at me “do you want to buy a car today? come on in! We can appriase your car in 10 minutes!” etc. It must have been a slow day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-car-dealer-advertising-jargon/203138.md?page=3)