# Stupid cat threads **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149 "2003-08-19T05:23:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/62 "2003-08-19T17:19:27Z")
> [@](#): > > The point is: You don’t see dog owners (which I also have a gripe with) posting dumb stories about their dumb pets. Really? That’s funny, cause this statement is 100% incorrect. I can only conclude that you are a foolish simpleton or engaging in one of the least funny examples of hyperbole I’ve ever seen. To aid you in ridding yourself of this particular bit of ignorance please consult the following list of threads which can be found in the forum for Mundane Pointless Things People Must Share: > [@](#): > > My dog’s blown her chances at an athletic scholarship… (kinda long) > > My dog’s having knee surgery - TPLO - anyone with experience? > > Look! Dogs! In cars! > > Whatever happened to dogs with fleas and bladder problems? > > The Straight Poop?? Regarding Dogs not Defecation. > > Leechbabe: Your dog’s name? > > Damn, my dog’s sick. > > Now I know what the dogs are talking about > > Dogs barking at cartoon dogs > > Why would my dogs lie? > > My dogs are idiots!!! > > If you have dogs who drink a lot water… > > One of my dogs likes watermelon > > HELP! I’m a cat trapped in a dog’s body! > > I think my dog’s been reading the boards… > > Philly area dopers…Johnny O and the Classic Dogs of Love > > Do little dogs know they are little? > > Bearded Collie Dogs > > Dopers & Dogs, Dogs & Dopers > > Dogs! Woof Arf Woof Aka Best Dog name See? Even Dog owners post stories about their pets. Oh, and one time my cat grabbed a thrown bra from my roomates bedroom while he was getting it on with a cute little honey. The cat proceeded to go up two flights bra in tow, hop onto my bed, and drop it next to me as I sat there reading. That is what you refer to as a “good kitty”. > [@](#): > > Of all the animals known to man, none has been regarded with as much fascination as the cat. The cat’s quiet grace, mysterious wisdom, intelligence and perpetual playfulness are always a joy to intelligent humans. > > Cats are excellent at controlling their emotions, far better than humans…or dogs. We are more agile than dogs or any other domestic animal for that matter. We are self-sufficient, poised, independent, curious, quiet and exceptionally well built, with parts that wear out only with old age. > > Yet for all our sterling qualities, we are frequently misunderstood. We are, by nature, quite different from dogs and also from humans. You see dogs, like humans, are pack animals. Both humans and dogs have developed a reliance upon and enjoyment of the companionship of their own kind. In the process of doing so, a dynamic range of welcoming, or "come closer’ body language has evolved. Humans smile and wave; dogs look alert, drop their ears back and wag their tails. I’m reminded of the old joke, “dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” There’s a lot of truth to the joke…we love you humans, but we refuse to be “owned.” So, to sum up: I burning your dog! DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![kputt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@kputt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kputt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/63 "2003-08-19T17:22:16Z")
Cats aren’t stupid and neither are their owners. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/64 "2003-08-19T17:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rooves \* > **They’re glorified rodents and I have many examples as to why I think that way. > […] > Cats are stupid loafers with little tiny rodent brains.** No, dear. That’s the ferrets. Miss Chan and Monk. The cat is Darien, a ball of pure evil, I tells ya. ---
**Author:** ![ArtyDooDoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/13edae/32.png) [@ArtyDooDoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtyDooDoo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/65 "2003-08-19T17:32:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rooves \* > \*\*Last night I was bored and I know how defensive cat owners can be so I created this thread for some fun. \*\* Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/66 "2003-08-19T17:45:16Z")
Right? I’ll feed my cats, but I’ll not feed the OP again. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/67 "2003-08-19T18:56:03Z")
Feed your cat…to a dog. I was kidding. Cats are not stupid. Cat owners are not stupid. I like cats. I’m going to run out and buy some right now. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/68 "2003-08-19T19:05:18Z")
Aaaawww…cute kitty pictures!!! Wait-so this was just to get a reaction? Um, don’t we have a name for someone who does that? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/69 "2003-08-19T19:14:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rooves \* > **Last night I was bored and I know how defensive cat owners can be so I created this thread for some fun.** This is called “trolling”, or “being a jerk”. Do it again and you’re banned. Lynn For the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/70 "2003-08-19T19:28:56Z")
**Lynn** , have I told you today that I love you? 'Cuz I do. Catz rule! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/71 "2003-08-19T19:32:18Z")
Quote from the OP: > [@](#): > > Shut the fuck up about your cats already and have some children worth mentioning. …Humans, on which you can attach your pride. :rolleyes: Yeah, because nothing is worth having pride over unless it’s another crying human mouth to feed in this already psychotically overpopulated world. Way to use your brain there, you crack smoking Ewok. Man, my cat could whip the shit out of you _and_ any bastard children you have “worth mentioning”. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/72 "2003-08-19T19:44:12Z")
I got two kittens recently and I didn’t feel like starting my own thread to tell y’all about it. In case you didn’t care, or something.🙂 But since the kitty people are reading this thread… One’s a gray tabby and one’s a brown tabby. I had the hardest time naming them until I got out a baby name book, and chose one name meaning “brown” and another name meaning “gray”, and came up with Bruno and Lloyd. Sounds like a pair of bumbling criminals, doncha think? As a conservative estimate, they spend 90% of their time biting each other. I’m looking forward to the time they become dignified old lap-warmers. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/73 "2003-08-19T20:12:57Z")
I bet they’re cute! When you get some pics, post them to the kitty pics thread. I’d love to see them. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/74 "2003-08-19T20:16:07Z")
Lynn, you rule! The cats in my album aren’t all my current herd. Some are, as John Cleese would say, ex-cats. Such as Tribble, Beastie, Tiger… The current roster consists of three black females: Sophie and Sylvia (sisters) and Serena (paranoid feral slowly learning to trust); and five, count 'em, FIVE orange tiger boyos: The Giganto Brothers, EddyTeddyFreddy, plus the Wee Veggie Brothers, Squash and Pumpkin. I did have a small tortie named Patches (how original, eh?) but she couldn’t take being predated by the Giganto Boys and had to be relocated to the Plaything Protection Program, a/k/a a friend’s barn, where she is now happily burrowed into the hay piles and safe from further harassment. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/75 "2003-08-19T20:20:51Z")
Sperfur: Where’s the kitty pix thread? Link, please? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/76 "2003-08-19T20:24:39Z")
[Kitty pics!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=204759) ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/77 "2003-08-19T20:32:09Z")
HA _HA!_ An anti-kitty thread turns into a kitty picture swaping thread. What an ironic hijack! ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/78 "2003-08-19T21:15:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Inaccurate Quoter \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Aesiron_ > > **I let my cat eat my pussy.** I rock. Not only have I been graped by **The Grapist** , I’m one of three to have been inaccurately quoted by **Inaccurate Quoter**. Awww, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/79 "2003-08-19T22:42:50Z")
Can we talk about our dear clever parrots? MINE can get through an almond shell with HIS BEAK! He uses TOOLS and has TWO opposable thumb-like thingies. He talks, too. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/80 "2003-08-19T22:53:52Z")
My pet rock rocks! ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/81 "2003-08-19T22:57:37Z")
Years ago on tv I saw a cat who could feed itself using a pair of chopsticks. They interviewed the owner: a woman who taught the cat to do that. I’ll see if I can dig it up somewhere on the Internet, but it was years ago on a local tv show in the Bay Area. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149.md?page=5)