# Stupid cat threads **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149 "2003-08-19T05:23:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![The13thUnicorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85e7bf/32.png) [@The13thUnicorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The13thUnicorn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/82 "2003-08-19T23:01:51Z")
So since I don’t have kids I think it is perfectly legit to talk about my two fluffballs. They are and will be the only babies I have for a long time. James Bond and Han Solo, are both currently on our bed protecting my husband who got back from surgery yesterday, they will only leave to eat and use the litter box. Han purrs almost constantly and I think it speeds healing, which makes my cats useful!😉 ---
**Author:** ![LookitMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7bcc69/32.png) [@LookitMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LookitMe)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/83 "2003-08-19T23:05:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LookitMe \* > \*\*Years ago on tv I saw a cat who could feed itself using a pair of chopsticks. They interviewed the owner: a woman who taught the cat to do that. > > I’ll see if I can dig it up somewhere on the Internet, but it was years ago on a local tv show in the Bay Area. \*\* _rarrrrrrr!_ The only thing I could find using a google search was [this](http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/05/31/1054177765806.html). There’s a tiny mention of a cat eating with chopsticks. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/84 "2003-08-20T05:20:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NailBunny \* > \*\*Quote from the OP: > > :rolleyes: > > Yeah, because nothing is worth having pride over unless it’s another crying human mouth to feed in this already psychotically overpopulated world. > > Way to use your brain there, you crack smoking Ewok. > > Man, my cat could whip the shit out of you _and_ any bastard children you have “worth mentioning”. \*\* Okay, now this post was just uncalled for. We do NOT insult Ewoks, okay? Ewoks rule. And they’d kick this guy’s ass. YUB YUB!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/85 "2003-08-20T05:44:21Z")
Ewoks are overgrown Tribbles. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/86 "2003-08-20T06:03:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dung Beetle \* > **I got two kittens recently and I didn’t feel like starting my own thread to tell y’all about it.** Oh, me too! I got two kitties a couple of months ago, and I even let one of them (Oedipuss Rex) post on this board sometimes. (I don’t want to link to that long boring thread but it was about cell phone rage. Rex really hates cell phones.) > [@](#): > > **One’s a gray tabby and one’s a brown tabby. I had the hardest time naming them until I got out a baby name book, and chose one name meaning “brown” and another name meaning “gray”, and came up with Bruno and Lloyd. Sounds like a pair of bumbling criminals, doncha think?** Aww! So snoogly woogly cute! My kitties are Oedipuss Rex, who is a gray boy tabby, and Cosmic Creepers, who is an all black girl kitten with just a few white hairs on the tip of her tail and her bodice. I _love_ the names Bruno and Lloyd and I definitely think it sounds like a couple of bumbling crooks. Maybe even serial biters. 🙂 My kitties spend a lot of time grooming each other and chasing each other around the apartment. Their favorite game is called Hot Pursuit, Fiery Death, and involves chasing each other down the long hallway, skidding out, and smashing into the closet door at the end. Rex, strangely enough, thinks he’s a dog. He comes when he’s called by name (Rex! C’mere, boy!) and licks faces to show affection. C.C. is very independent, but she’s sweet. As for the OP, well, it’s idiotic. If some people enjoy stupid stories about cats, what’s it to you? I think watching sports is a pointless stupid boring waste of time, but I don’t mind if other people enjoy them because it rarely, if ever, affects me. Get a life, you old curmudgeon! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/87 "2003-08-20T06:54:59Z")
Yet another completely avoidable tragedy comes to pass for want of qualified aversion therapy. Perhaps **Lynn** ’s suggestion will serve as an adequate substitute. PS: **Venoma** , did you notice how I also own a cat? Try to imagine why. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/88 "2003-08-20T07:42:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capybara \* > \*\*Can we talk about our dear clever parrots? MINE can get through an almond shell with HIS BEAK! He uses TOOLS and has TWO opposable thumb-like thingies. He talks, too. \*\* I really think that birds need their own thread. I enjoy birds, but I refuse to keep birds and cats in one household. ---
**Author:** ![AfterAugust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AfterAugust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AfterAugust)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/89 "2003-08-20T07:58:18Z")
I was going to write something completely different. Good think I read the second page. Rooves, right at first, your supposed hatred towards cats seemed a bit aggressive and over the top. The only people I’ve heard talk like that are the imbred little ass munchers in my old neighborhood who would stick fire crackers up cats asses and blow them up for fun. So, that’s what made me mad and I was going to post accordingly. I don’t care if there are people who don’t like a certain animal, but I do if harm to animals is involved. Glad to know that you were just being lame and messing with people. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/90 "2003-08-20T08:03:26Z")
**Rooves** , I gather a cat would be smart enough to know that you have little intelligence. Cat stories or not…when I had to put my Sam (a HUGE orange tabby down in Sept of 2000) my friends and so many Dopers came to give me a lot of wonderful, thankful and heartfelt condolences about it. As said, if you don’t like em, don’t fucking read them. For fuck’s sakes. You seem to be posting this rant to see what kind of people will post about this…I call this baiting…if you don’t care to respond, FUCKING DON’T…but for one second, think about your need for attention or your need to be an ass and understand that bullshit like this is just as fucked up if you substituted the word cat for child as many of us have animals (I have a a rat and a cat currently, lost two cats and a dog from May to July) because they mean something to us. People like you that have to rant about such BULLSHIT really piss me off. I lost my Niki (a cat of 16 years in June), I lost my Kodi (a chow/shep/lab mix) in July, and I lost another cat in July, Max because of failing health we could not pin point. You sir or miss are fucked in the head…cat, dog, rat, hamster, pig, bird, snake, turtle, gerbil, etc… go on with it…if it’s your animal and most likely your “kid” and he/she dies…the mom or dad (yes I use those terms as I will not have children) will have grief. YOU FUCKING SUCK ASS. I hate people like you. You seemingly have no compassion for other people when our hearts go out to those we love and many times and more and more, this means our pets. I hope you get a lightning bolt if you cross the rainbow bridge with that attitude. My Monty has never, ever been an asshole of a cat. He is now sleeping beside my chair waiting for me to get up and go to bed. He will, when I go to bed, snuggle me and “knead” me as he loves me. Dude, I am disappointed that you are a cat hater but as one that loves all animals, I have to take that further and think I have no respect for you for your blanket statement. Each animal, regardless of species is special…Especially when they can show love and like my Monty, meow like the cows left town when I come home from an extended evening away…you sir suck ass. You are a sad little being. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/91 "2003-08-20T11:54:49Z")
_ **I enjoy birds, but I refuse to keep birds and cats in one household.** _ Uh, Lynn, not to belabor the obvious, but without major security measures, that situation would most likely correct itself fairly quickly. Balance of nature and all that, ya know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/92 "2003-08-20T11:55:17Z")
Originally posted by Q.N. Jones > [@](#): > > Hot Pursuit, Fiery Death So **that’s** what that game is called!😛 I’m glad you like Bruno & Lloyd; they nearly wound up being called Mold & Mildew because they could always be found behind the toilet. They’re not so shy anymore. I like your cats’ names too! ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/93 "2003-08-20T12:25:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aesiron \* > \*\*Ewoks are overgrown Tribbles. \*\* Actually they are undergrown Wookies. And they taste like chicken. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/94 "2003-08-20T13:31:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rooves \*\*\*Stop trying to make me look stupid \*\* You are doing quite well at making yourself look stupid without anyone’s help. ---
**Author:** ![ChunkyLover53](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c0e974/32.png) [@ChunkyLover53](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChunkyLover53)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/95 "2003-08-20T13:38:18Z")
My cat’s breath smells like cat food. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/96 "2003-08-20T15:12:08Z")
Muffin? I had a real cool cat named Muffin! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/97 "2003-08-20T17:41:53Z")
I had a cat that I named Smuffin for a few days. But then we changed it to Girl Cat. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/98 "2003-08-20T17:57:17Z")
But… would you shave your pet cat or a drowning Muffin? ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/99 "2003-08-20T18:10:42Z")
I love cats AND dogs. Pretty much equally, and for different reasons. 😃 May be off topic, but **Squink** is an appropriate screen name for a poster to this thread - my friends have a cat named Squinks. She’s so cute. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/100 "2003-08-20T18:42:03Z")
Bippy, Bippy – how could you even suggest shaving a cat? Ever taken a good look at that hairless breed of feline? EEE-YUK!!! (With apologies to fanciers of same.) It wouldn’t be much use to shave a drowning muffin either – the thing would just disintegrate. 😛 Quazz would be a great name for a cat. But is it pronounced “kwaaahhhz” or “kwaz” (as in spaz)? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149/101 "2003-08-20T19:07:20Z")
_Originally posted by Rooves_ > [@](#): > > Cats are stupid loafers who benefit only from the cute eyebrows of dogs. > My point is that before now you didn’t know I had a dog, or kids or a family. People who go out of their way to discuss their cats frighten me and seem unreasonable. They are probably the same fuckers who steal my empty shopping cart when I’m not looking and the same people who have clear consciences because they recycle their trash. I realize this is maybe a day or so old. I also see that many of your bizarre statements were meant to troll for replies. But to your comment above, might I offer just a great fucking big “Huh?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-cat-threads/196149.md?page=6)