# Stupid celebrity baby name of the week **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 6, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021 "2005-10-06T06:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Silence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Silence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Silence)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/21 "2005-10-06T23:25:12Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > David Duchovey is cute, smart (PhD) and talented. However, his young son’s name is Kidd Miller. They apparently call him Miller. That’s just great. Actually, it’s Kyd Miller, after Thomas Kyd (a famous playwright. You may have heard of him) and John Miller (a famous poet. You may have heard of him.) Can’t imagine where a man with a Ph.D. in English would have picked up those names… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/22 "2005-10-06T23:51:55Z")
At least they’re not naming babies Orangello, Lemongello, ShiTonya, or Asswipé. I recommend we get busy on _The Straight Dope Book of Celebrity Baby Names,_ to which we can all contribute suggestions for future crotchmonkeys of the celebrated. I’ll start you all off with a few. **Male** Nacho Asperger Commissionaire de Police Odor LeThal Ruckus Masada Vibram **Female** Hoyden Jenna Tull Chyme Isinglass Scroungeberry Bedford Stuyvesant Bosco ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/23 "2005-10-07T00:48:16Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > At least they’re not naming babies Orangello, Lemongello, ShiTonya, or Asswipé. > > I recommend we get busy on _The Straight Dope Book of Celebrity Baby Names,_ to which we can all contribute suggestions for future crotchmonkeys of the celebrated. I’ll start you all off with a few. > > **Male** > > Nacho > Asperger > Commissionaire de Police > Odor LeThal > Ruckus > Masada > Vibram > > **Female** > > Hoyden > Jenna Tull > Chyme > Isinglass > Scroungeberry > Bedford Stuyvesant > Bosco You forgot Og. Or is that blasphemous? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/24 "2005-10-07T01:43:08Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Fiona Apple’s middle name is Apple. (She was born Fiona Apple Maggart.) How much you want to bet she would’ve only sold 1/10th the number of albums if she went by Apple Maggart? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/25 "2005-10-07T02:11:26Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I recommend we get busy on _The Straight Dope Book of Celebrity Baby Names,_ to which we can all contribute suggestions for future crotchmonkeys of the celebrated. I’ll start you all off with a few. **Male:** Basin Keebler Formica Newark **Female:** Hygiene Emesis Carrion Cyanide ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/26 "2005-10-07T02:26:28Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I recommend we get busy on _The Straight Dope Book of Celebrity Baby Names,_ to which we can all contribute suggestions for future crotchmonkeys of the celebrated. I’ll start you all off with a few. I like your taste in names! Allow me to contribute: **Male** Hominy Kamikaze Falafal Kazoo Jism **Female** Sarsparilla Sodomita Knut Knut Knut Tallegarupna Hezbollah ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/27 "2005-10-07T03:33:41Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > [Kalil is a boy’s name in Hebrew & Arabic.](http://babynames.indastro.com/hebrewonemK.html) Kalel is a pretty unobjectionable variant. It could mean “Swiftness of God” in Hebrew. It’s not Kalel, it’s _Kal-el_. “It could” mean a lot of things, but it only means one of them. They named the kid after Superman and said so. If they had chosen Khalil, I don’t think so many people would be complaining. The fact that something that sounds similar to Kal-el (not Kalel) in another language seems irrelevant to me. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/28 "2005-10-07T03:46:32Z")
Kalil is fine. Kal-el (complete with pointless interior punctuation mark) is very stupid. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/29 "2005-10-07T04:26:13Z")
Marley23: > [@](#): > > Yeah, but it’s more creative than the inevitable “What’s that? Up in the sky?” jokes. I just worry for him when he reaches his sexually-active years, and girls shun him because he’s faster than a speeding bullet. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/30 "2005-10-07T09:57:26Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > If they had chosen Khalil, I don’t think so many people would be complaining. Well, maybe Tolkein geeks - ISTR that’s the pre-wraithing name of a Nazgul. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/31 "2005-10-07T10:02:37Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Well, maybe Tolkein geeks - ISTR that’s the pre-wraithing name of a Nazgul. ISTR wrong, it’s Khamûl, not Kahlil. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/32 "2005-10-07T11:42:35Z")
**Male** : Fnord Prefect Prefect Gryffindor Ravenclaw Severus **Female** Hermione ( which I like alot) Hilarion ( I have a teenage cousin named this. It is an old irish name. I like it alot.) Justice Mallorca ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/33 "2005-10-07T11:43:41Z")
**Male:** Anakin ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/34 "2005-10-07T13:29:55Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > **Male:** > Anakin Female: Amidala. “We’ll call her Amy for short; she won’t have to use the full name if she doesn’t want to.” Anakin, however, is screwed. “We’ll call him Annie…” and let the schoolyard beatings commence… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/35 "2005-10-07T14:58:28Z")
> [@Atticus Finch](#): > > Tallegarupna I fed that to Google and it asked: “Did you mean Talleygaroopna?” You’re catching on, foax. I may make this a thread unto itself. F: **Nubbin, Croatia, Netsuke, Ping, Bricolage** ; M: **Halogen, Borsalino, Yinz, Flugkapitän, Spurt** ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/36 "2005-10-07T20:57:42Z")
**Male** Urin-el (one of the many cousins in the El family) Suici-el Digit-el Frac-el Crani-el **Female** Latrina LooLoo Toiletta Chlamydia Anna Rexia ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021/37 "2005-10-08T00:55:34Z")
I still have nothing but contempt for Rob Morrow, who named his daughter Tu. Sure it’s funny for like a second, but the rest of her life she’s an Abbott and Costello routine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-celebrity-baby-name-of-the-week/325021.md?page=1)