# Stupid commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395 "2010-01-25T18:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/21 "2010-01-27T08:06:32Z")
I saw one for a touchless soap dispenser. You see if you have one of those old, pump-type dispensers, nasty, evil, germy things live on the handle and will get on your hand if you touch it. So with this new one, you just hold your hand in front of it and it detects it almost by magic. Why is this stupid? Because if germs do live on the soap pump handle, and you do have to touch it, the absolute very next thing you’re going to do is _wash your hands!_ With soap, and everything. I can understand not wanting to get your hands all germified after you’ve washed them. But this is before. Immediately before. If any germs do get on your hands, they’re going to be dead in about two seconds when you start washing them. That’s why you’re washing them. They’ll probably sell a million of them. And there’s one with a grown man dressed as a baby and pouring sand on his head, but I’ve only seen it once and don’t remember what it was for. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/22 "2010-01-27T08:42:18Z")
The **Geico** commercials where the Gecko is interacting with the company president, who is a complete fool. Why would I want to buy insurance from a company that is run by an idiot? ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/23 "2010-01-27T14:08:56Z")
Atop my list of non-favorites these days is for one of those diet meal services, Jenny Craig or Seattle Sutton or something. In an amateurish, store-bought-software type animation, there’s a stick-figure silhouette of a woman (like on a rest room door). Pictures of unhealthy food like cheeseburgers, burritos, etc., fly into the frame and disappear into the figure, which proceeds to get fatter and fatter. This is accompanied by clownish trombone music and sound effects of slurping, chomping, and (I swear) oinking noises. Suddenly, the music changes to the Halleluiah Chorus, and the food is now healthy diet food, and the figure now gets thinner. There’s still a “chomping” sound effect, though less piggish than before, and the sound of a woman saying “Mmmmm!” repeatedly. The whole thing is just disgusting and extremely off-putting. ---
**Author:** ![Lethal\_Babydoll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3be4f8/32.png) [@Lethal\_Babydoll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lethal_Babydoll)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/24 "2010-01-27T14:34:14Z")
That fair housing commercial with the guy doing the accents. At first I was very impressed by the actor’s vocal abilities. But they been running that for so long now I’ve come to hate every person he pretends to be and it just comes off as smug. By the way: You wonder about the reaction to the person he was talking to. “Hey, Corrine! You won’t believe it. I got a call from one of each of them!” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/25 "2010-01-27T14:37:20Z")
There’s a current Smucker’s commercial where the two boys are looking up at an apple tree. One kid asks if he’s ready to pick the apple yet. The other says no, he’s waiting until it’s ripened to perfection. They then cut away to strawberry jam being spread on bread, and then show a jar of strawberry jam, grape jelly, and raspberry jam. WHAT NO APPLE??? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/26 "2010-01-27T15:32:16Z")
> [@FatBaldGuy](#): > > The ones that irriate me are the ads for Sonic, where a couple of people sit in the car eating their food and making inane comments to each other. > > The only conclusion I can draw from these ads is that eating Sonic food makes you stupid. I confess that I love those commercials. They’re so unpredictable. I do wonder why they advertise in my market, because there are no Sonics within an hour’s drive. > [@Taomist](#): > > Hehe, I know what you mean. Saw one tonight where they offer to take your old tv away for you and dispose of it! How about you SELL that perfectly good tv to someone who might not CARE about HD? \ I think the secondary market is flooded with old cathode-ray TVs. It’s too hard to find anyone willing to buy one for more than negligible value. I don’t think thrift storees around here will even take them. ---
**Author:** ![Jules\_Andre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jules_andre/32/9334_2.png) [@Jules\_Andre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jules_Andre)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/27 "2010-01-27T16:01:32Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > I hate the McDonald’s commercial with the guy who refuses to talk to anyone till he has his coffee. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever been so frustrated by a commercial. Is McDonalds trying to say its okay to be that way? ---
**Author:** ![Lurking\_Quahog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lurking_quahog/32/21274_2.png) [@Lurking\_Quahog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lurking_Quahog)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/28 "2010-01-27T16:07:54Z")
> [@niblet\_head](#): > > There’s an ad for Office Depot (? or Office Max, but who can tell the difference) which is all about how a $6 hair salon moves in across the street from an established place. So, in order to compete, the established place gets a banner made at Office.. whatever… for cheap that says “We fix $6 haircuts”. > > Except, that Office whatever’s big call-to-action is that they’re _cheap_. So, is cheap good? Or is cheap bad? Also, this commercial implies that the $6 Hair Salon place that opened across the street from the established barber is evil because it’s a nasty chain store trying to put the little guy out of business by undercutting him. I wonder how many independent office supply stores have gone out of business once Office Depot rolled into town. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/29 "2010-01-27T17:31:20Z")
I had almost forgotten the stupid Staples guy. I don’t know if the baby one mentioned is the hamburger with “this baby was literally born yesterday”. Except it’s a man dressed as a baby, which just looks like fetish porn. I haven’t seen it in a while, but there was a Ragu commercial that went something like, “Would you rather eat this _jar_ or this _sauce_?” That’s right, don’t buy crappy pasta sauce in a jar, buy Ragu, the crappy pasta sauce that comes in a cylindrical glass container. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/30 "2010-01-27T18:14:03Z")
> [@panamajack](#): > > I haven’t seen it in a while, but there was a Ragu commercial that went something like, “Would you rather eat this _jar_ or this _sauce_?” That’s right, don’t buy crappy pasta sauce in a jar, buy Ragu, the crappy pasta sauce that comes in a cylindrical glass container. I saw that one last night and had the same reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/31 "2010-01-27T19:28:38Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I wouldn’t eat at Quizno’s while their commercials featured those rat things. I still won’t because of them…and every other ad campaign they have ever had. looking at you wierd, gay oven thing… ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/32 "2010-01-27T20:13:34Z")
I have to admit I liked the Quizno’s rat things. They made me smile. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/33 "2010-01-27T20:32:24Z")
There’s one for Cisco computer systems where they’re in an elementary school classroom, all excited about the field trip they’re taking that day. One kid says, “we’re going to China!” Then some adult observer in the class goes on about how “in my day, we only got to go to a local farm on our field trips, blah blah blah.” Then the ad cuts to a view of the class watching a big teleconference screen with kids in a classroom in China connected at the other end. Sure, watching some kids in a classroom in China is just like actually going to China.:rolleyes: Something else stupid about this commercial: if it’s daytime at the school in America, wouldn’t the Chinese kids be at home sleeping? ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/34 "2010-01-27T20:44:44Z")
> [@Tomczyk](#): > > Also, this commercial implies that the $6 Hair Salon place that opened across the street from the established barber is evil because it’s a nasty chain store trying to put the little guy out of business by undercutting him. I wonder how many independent office supply stores have gone out of business once Office Depot rolled into town. That was exactly the comment my wife made when she saw the ad. “That’s ironic. How many little mom and pop stationery stores did they put out of business when they came to town? Now they’re all about sticking up for the little guy?” ---
**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/35 "2010-01-27T20:53:26Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I have to admit I liked the Quizno’s rat things. They made me smile. They aren’t “rat things”, they are spongemonkeys (why, I do not know; but there you have it) 😉 And they commercials featuring them were the best Quizno commercials ever! 😛 That creepy gay oven could learn a thing or two from the spongemonkeys. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/36 "2010-01-27T20:55:09Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I have to admit I liked the Quizno’s rat things. They made me smile. Me too. I also like those [FreeCreditReport.com](http://FreeCreditReport.com) commercials. Especially the one with the cellphones where the singer gets that giant brick phone. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/37 "2010-01-27T21:10:57Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > There’s one for Cisco computer systems where they’re in an elementary school classroom, all excited about the field trip they’re taking that day. One kid says, “we’re going to China!” Then some adult observer in the class goes on about how “in my day, we only got to go to a local farm on our field trips, blah blah blah.” Then the ad cuts to a view of the class watching a big teleconference screen with kids in a classroom in China connected at the other end. Sure, watching some kids in a classroom in China is just like actually going to China.:rolleyes: > > Something else stupid about this commercial: if it’s daytime at the school in America, wouldn’t the Chinese kids be at home sleeping? Can anyone tell me, in the Cisco series like the one described above, who the girl is supposed to be? (in another, she goes to see a doctor - as a patient or friend, I’m not sure, who’s in Copenhagen and another, IIRC, the mayor greets her by name - Ellen). Is she some local celebrity in Cisco-town-ad-land, or in reality someone that everybody else knows but me? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/38 "2010-01-27T21:24:40Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > I still won’t because of them… No great surprise, given your username. 😉 > [@MitzeKatze](#): > > They aren’t “rat things”, they are spongemonkeys (why, I do not know; but there you have it) 😉 And they commercials featuring them were the best Quizno commercials ever! 😛 > > That creepy gay oven could learn a thing or two from the spongemonkeys. 🙂 I guess I’m just not spongeworthy. > [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](#): > > Can anyone tell me, in the Cisco series like the one described above, who the girl is supposed to be? (in another, she goes to see a doctor - as a patient or friend, I’m not sure, who’s in Copenhagen and another, IIRC, the mayor greets her by name - Ellen). Is she some local celebrity in Cisco-town-ad-land, or in reality someone that everybody else knows but me? Ellen Page, star of the movie “Juno.” She provides Cisco with young hipster cred. Why they value that, I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/39 "2010-01-27T21:32:34Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > The new Staples commercial —\> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUBUxv4VsTw](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUBUxv4VsTw) That’s the one I thought of immediately. I will not shop at Staples while that one runs. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395/40 "2010-01-27T22:07:01Z")
> [@MitzeKatze](#): > > They aren’t “rat things”, they are spongemonkeys (why, I do not know; but there you have it) 😉 And they commercials featuring them were the best Quizno commercials ever! 😛 > > That creepy gay oven could learn a thing or two from the spongemonkeys. 🙂 “Spong-”, not “sponge-”; spongmonkeys. > [@Ponch8](#): > > There’s one for Cisco computer systems where they’re in an elementary school classroom, all excited about the field trip they’re taking that day. One kid says, “we’re going to China!” Then some adult observer in the class goes on about how “in my day, we only got to go to a local farm on our field trips, blah blah blah.” Then the ad cuts to a view of the class watching a big teleconference screen with kids in a classroom in China connected at the other end. Sure, watching some kids in a classroom in China is just like actually going to China.:rolleyes: > > Something else stupid about this commercial: if it’s daytime at the school in America, wouldn’t the Chinese kids be at home sleeping? The thing I noticed was that she says something like “when I was a kid, we would just go to a farm.” Ellen, you were a kid _last month._ However, those commercials still rock, because I have been to that town. Spent about two weeks there, in fact. I’ve walked right by that school building. The first time I saw that commercial, my jaw hit the floor. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Ellen Page, star of the movie “Juno.” She provides Cisco with young hipster cred. Why they value that, I don’t know. I don’t know about the hipster cred, but there’s some local cred. Ellen Page is from Halifax, the commercials are set in Lunenburg, about 60 miles down the coast. There are some beautiful shots of the town and the waterfront. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-commercials/526395.md?page=3)