# Stupid Customer Stories..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326 "2006-01-23T23:27:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/81 "2006-01-29T22:20:29Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > By that logic, you can “drive” from any part of the earth to another, via a ship. (Coincidentally I just returned from Ireland on the Holyhead Ferry this afternoon.) Right, the point that I was trying to make was that the client really didn’t know that there was a body of water between Ireland and England. She really did think she could just drive there. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/82 "2006-01-29T22:40:40Z")
Anyway, as a non-hijack, **mrs jjimm** used to work in the ticketing department of a major airline. Someone called with a query about a ticket. As you may have observed, airline tickets have a large number of very long serial numbers on them, so they’re better seen than discussed. “Sure, just fax a copy over,” said my dear wife. Ten minutes went past, she checked the machine. No fax. Another ten minutes passed, so she checked the machine again. No fax. She called the person back: “I haven’t received your fax yet,” she said. “I know,” replied the woman. “But it’s really thick, and I can’t get it to go through the fax machine.” The sad thing was the woman in question was a travel agent. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/83 "2006-01-29T22:41:21Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > By that logic, you can “drive” from any part of the earth to another, via a ship. (Coincidentally I just returned from Ireland on the Holyhead Ferry this afternoon.) Right, the point that I was trying to make was that the client really didn’t know that there was a body of water between Ireland and England. She really did think she could just drive there. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/84 "2006-01-29T23:38:21Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > By that logic, you can “drive” from any part of the earth to another, via a ship. (Coincidentally I just returned from Ireland on the Holyhead Ferry this afternoon.) \< AHEM \> [Perhaps](http://www.autogeek.com/images/Contest12.jpg) so, [perhaps not](http://nurbs.org/gfx/amphibicar.jpg). I’d rather not say. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/85 "2006-01-30T09:11:18Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > \< AHEM \> > > [Perhaps](http://www.autogeek.com/images/Contest12.jpg) so, [perhaps not](http://nurbs.org/gfx/amphibicar.jpg). I’d rather not say. If you feel like going round Cape Horn in one of them, I suggest you inform the authorities first. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/86 "2006-01-30T13:17:31Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > I love that story. It’s really beautiful. JAckass customers should always get that kind of service. I read this one in a _Reader’s Digest_…a family owned a feed store, and one day a lady came in wanting a huge amount of chicken feed. The owner started shoveling the feed into the bags, then weighing the bags, and the woman complained she wasn’t going to pay for the bags, just the feed. The owner nodded, and started dumping the feed out on the floor after he measured it on the scale. The woman gasped in horror, and the owner said, “You don’t want to pay for the bags, you don’t get them.” ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/87 "2006-01-30T13:30:27Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > If you feel like going round Cape Horn in one of them, I suggest you inform the authorities first. 😉 Authorities hell, inform your next of kin! I sell auto parts. I need to ask questions like make, model, type, engine size. The professional garage techs some time bi\*ch about all the questions. My response is, “You want the right parts or not, I get paid by the hour” It also bothers me that more people don’t know what they drive. ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/88 "2006-01-30T14:14:09Z")
> [@Booker57](#): > > It also bothers me that more people don’t know what they drive. Sing it brother! I’m a female and spent almost 10 years in mgmt for the now defunct Grand Auto Supply. Quite often men would look right past me to the 16 year old kid that just started because he was male. I would blow them away asking questions and telling them that “no, your battery is good, it’s your alternator or voltage reg that’s the problem”. But my BATTERY is dead!, they’d say. Yeah, 'cause the thing that charges it is broken. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/89 "2006-01-30T14:55:05Z")
I seriously can’t believe the **mean-dumb** type of customers are _really_ that stupid. If they were, they couldn’t hold a job, drive a car, or even feed or dress themselves. So I have to conclude that they are _looking_ to be pissed off. They know they are not going to get treated like royalty at Squall-Mart or McDumbos. So why come in asking for it? They want a fight. Many of them are probably stressed out or abusing substances or both. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/90 "2006-01-30T15:48:09Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > “Do you ever… like, y’know, just like, put your hand in there and go like ALLAAAALAAGHHH _licking motions_?” > “Do you ever… like, y’know, just like, put your head in there? ALLALLAALALAGH!!! _licking motions_” > “Can I, like, y’know, put my face in there? I’d be like ALLAAALALALLAGH!!! _licking motions_” Oh dear Og. I’ve got tears running down my face just from laughing at that part. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/91 "2006-01-30T16:24:57Z")
Arrgh, got another one that I just dealt with (again) several minutes ago. There are 2 scuplture courses this semester. One of the profs wanted 20 boxes of clay from us. The other wanted 40. “Where would you like them delivered?” I asked. “Oh, just put them in the studio, we’ll seperate them out ourselves,” they said. So fine. Did exactly what they said. This was at the beginning of January. Then, last week, the one stupid ass prof comes to me all flustered. “I put the boxes for my class under a table, but somebody TOOK them!” He cried. “Now my class has NOOO CLAAAY! I need more right now!” Look, you simpering moron. We had to special order the clay for you. You know that. We don’t have more. We got the quantity you wanted and that’s it. Your fault for putting $25 boxes of clay UNDER A TABLE IN AN OPEN STUDIO for safekeeping (Oh! it’s UNDER A TABLE! We can’t take that!), you gangly pig’s arse. So I tell him he needs to talk to my boss to get more clay, because my boss is in charge of ordering everything, not me (he knows this, too!). So he bitches and moans about his clay and mopes off. A few minutes ago he comes back in. “I have class NOW! I NEED some clay!” I tell him again that he needs to talk to my boss about ordering, that we don’t have any clay in stock. “But I NEED it RIGHT NOW!” he whines. “Look,” I say firmly, “You HAVE to talk to my boss”. He grumbles disapprovingly and mopes off again. I wonder how much longer it’ll be this time till he comes back again. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/92 "2006-01-30T16:30:15Z")
Arrgh, got another one that I just dealt with (again) several minutes ago. There are 2 scuplture courses this semester. One of the profs wanted 20 boxes of clay from us. The other wanted 40. “Where would you like them delivered?” I asked. “Oh, just put them in the studio, we’ll seperate them out ourselves,” they said. So fine. Did exactly what they said. This was at the beginning of January. Then, last week, the one stupid ass prof comes to me all flustered. “I put the boxes for my class under a table, but somebody TOOK them!” He cried. “Now my class has NOOO CLAAAY! I need more right now!” Look, you simpering moron. We had to special order the clay for you. You know that. We don’t have more. We got the quantity you wanted and that’s it. Your fault for putting $25 boxes of clay UNDER A TABLE IN AN OPEN STUDIO for safekeeping (Oh! it’s UNDER A TABLE! We can’t take that!), you gangly pig’s arse. So I tell him he needs to talk to my boss to get more clay, because my boss is in charge of ordering everything, not me (he knows this, too!). So he bitches and moans about his clay and mopes off. A few minutes ago he comes back in. “I have class NOW! I NEED some clay!” I tell him again that he needs to talk to my boss about ordering, that we don’t have any clay in stock. “But I NEED it RIGHT NOW!” he whines. “Look,” I say firmly, “You HAVE to talk to my boss”. He grumbles disapprovingly and mopes off again. I wonder how much longer it’ll be this time till he comes back again. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/93 "2006-01-30T16:40:30Z")
He came back again in a hurry. He came back again in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/94 "2006-01-30T18:12:42Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I seriously can’t believe the **mean-dumb** type of customers are _really_ that stupid. If they were, they couldn’t hold a job, drive a car, or even feed or dress themselves. So I have to conclude that they are _looking_ to be pissed off. They know they are not going to get treated like royalty at Squall-Mart or McDumbos. So why come in asking for it? They want a fight. Many of them are probably stressed out or abusing substances or both. In my experience, there was a certain economic pattern in customer jerkiness. Low income folk were generally OK in a proletarian brotherhood kind of way. Very wealthy folk also seemed mostly OK. They seemed to be above little problems like a cashiers “attitude.” It was the folks who were well-off but not financially independent who had the big attitude. It always seemed like they thought they deserved to be treated like royalty. The way they thought really, really wealthy folks got treated. “Hey! I’m a regional manager and I deserve better than this!” Basically, the more pretentious a customer was, the worse he was to put up with. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/95 "2006-01-31T01:27:40Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I seriously can’t believe the **mean-dumb** type of customers are _really_ that stupid. If they were, they couldn’t hold a job, drive a car, or even feed or dress themselves. So I have to conclude that they are _looking_ to be pissed off. They know they are not going to get treated like royalty at Squall-Mart or McDumbos. So why come in asking for it? They want a fight. Many of them are probably stressed out or abusing substances or both. I suspect you are right. Or a lot of them are just looking for something for free, and think if they kick up enough of a fuss, we’ll give it to them. Then there are the just plain crazy customers. Once, we had this woman come in who swore she saw Andrew Cunanan, the man wanted for the murder of Gianni Versace, in our store. She said we simply HAD to give her the cashier’s phone number so she could get a description from him, to draw a sketch for her to take to the cops. And that the killer had people tailing her so they’d kidnap her or some such nonsense. Or the guy who dropped his bag of white powder out on the belt while fishing for his wallet. He basically threatened the cashier, “YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT!” Okay. Hours later he comes back in again, bruised, obviously stoned out of his gourd, looking like he just lost a fight asking if we did Western Union (we didn’t.) Takes all kinds. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326/96 "2006-02-06T17:30:11Z")
Finally, a customer worthy of being my “customer #3” story… Customer 3; “Gravitationally Challenged” PowerBook G4 12"… Yes, Mr. GCPBG4, i understand you dropped your 'Book while it was running, i feel really sorry for the machine being owned by an oaf like you, i have some good news and some bad news for you, what do you want first, the good news, okay… most of the machine in fact works (i’m posting this post with it, in fact), it surfs the net, reads optical discs, both CD and DVD the _BAD_ news, your hard drive has suffered a _head crash_ and i cannot recover the data, maybe if you _DIDN’T DROP IT WHILE IT WAS RUNNING_, you wouldn’t have this problem, and whining about your precious data being gone won’t bring it back from the dead, no, STOP WHINING, your data is _inaccesable_ and there’s nothing i can do to recover it… yes, i’ve tried to recover it, but when your drive is making a _REGULAR CLUNKING NOISE_ and repeatedly failing with I/O errors, there’s something _physically_ wrong with it… no, a head crash can’t be fixed by running repair software, a head crash is _physical damage_ to the drive platters, you know, like the drive heads _striking_ the drive platters that are spinning at 5400 RPM… yes, i’m sure absolutely sure, there is _no_ off the shelf software that can fix a head crash, don’t you have current backups? oh, i’m sorry to hear that, no backups? that’s too bad… yes, all your photos are gone, i’m sorry, you _could_ send the drive for data recovery but it’s expensive… well, i _could_ replace the hard drive with a 3rd party drive and reinstall the OS, you’d be looking at 100% data loss though, _or_ i could send it to Apple for repair, but it’d be expensive as they consider this a Tier 4 Abuse repair, you could almost buy a new machine for the cost of the repair… okay, if you can live with the cosmetic dents (i’ll try to straighten them as best i can) replacing the HDD is the cheapest way out, everything else appears to work… no, for the last time, I _CANNOT_ get your data back, STOP WHINING!, if the pictures are that important, send the drive for data recovery, be prepared to pay a lot of money though… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-customer-stories/341326.md?page=4)