# Stupid drug lords and their hippos **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936 "2014-07-12T17:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/41 "2014-07-13T15:22:41Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#): > > Re Kobal’s post, since I can’t multi-quote on this tablet, Colombia’s supposed to be a lot less lawless and kidnapp-y now, than they were around 2000 or so. In the major cities and the big touristy places along the coast, sure. Out in the boonies, in places so far removed from “civilization” that hippos roam free ? Probably a different story. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/42 "2014-07-13T16:03:56Z")
This remarkable, if slightly alarming, tale, has me wondering whether Pablo Escobar had advice from the alternative history / fantasy author S.M. Stirling – who seems to have quite a thing about hippos being introduced into incongruous places. Stirling’s novel “Conquistador” revolves around an alternative prehistoric California in the San Francisco area, which a few “our-time-line” types happen to get access to in the mid-1940s; they proceed therefrom, in great secrecy, to colonise it. The “big man” of this enterprise – a sort of benevolent tyrant – is (while not stupid) no great biology-and-wildlife expert; he just likes the idea of introducing to his Californian domain, an assortment of large animal species from elsewhere in the world (including hippos) – which he just finds it cool to have around, and for him and his cronies to hunt when they feel like it. With “this” California being extremely thinly populated by humans, the hippos seem not to be much of a problem. In Stirling’s “Emberverse” novel series (premise, an “unnatural disaster” in 1998 causes, indirectly, the death of 95% of humanity worldwide): a decade or so after this regrettable happening, hippos escaped from zoos / safari parks are living and thriving in the rivers of the east of England; this presenting something of a hazard to those among the few surviving humans, who wish to use boats to get from A to B via those rivers. Hippos running wild in England feel, to this Brit, a bit implausible – but, climate change and all that – who knows? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/43 "2014-07-13T16:08:25Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > No zoo wants them. They can’t be sent to Africa. They’re in as good a place for a “suitable enclosure” as anywhere else, and they can’t be kept enclosed. Maybe we could build a Hippodrome for them. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/44 "2014-07-13T17:24:31Z")
> [@vontsira](#): > > Hippos running wild in England feel, to this Brit, a bit implausible – but, climate change and all that – who knows? [The Great Northern Hippo once roamed the area of Leeds.](http://www.theguardian.com/leeds/2010/oct/03/the-hippos-that-time-forgot-in-leeds) ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/45 "2014-07-13T17:30:20Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [The Great Northern Hippo once roamed the area of Leeds.](http://www.theguardian.com/leeds/2010/oct/03/the-hippos-that-time-forgot-in-leeds) By 'eck, Mr. ‘ippo, what does tha think tha’s doin’ 'ere? – well, what goes around, comes around… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/46 "2014-07-13T17:51:58Z")
Meantime, [North American House Hippos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLG2JP0P5JE) run rampant. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/47 "2014-07-13T18:09:21Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Meantime, [North American House Hippos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLG2JP0P5JE) run rampant. Now, _that’s_ got to be the result of excessive drug use. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/48 "2014-07-13T18:20:45Z")
Just seed the area that the hippos are in with volleyballs filled with a hippocide. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/49 "2014-07-13T18:50:00Z")
Just seed the area with the hippo’s natural predator. I dunno… crocodiles or something. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/50 "2014-07-13T18:57:30Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Just seed the area with the hippo’s natural predator. I dunno… crocodiles or something. No need to seed. [They’re already there.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orinoco_crocodile) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/51 "2014-07-13T19:05:32Z")
Well, get _more_ of 'em! Then when the hippos are gone, seed the area with the crocodile’s natural predator. I dunno… bootmakers or something. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/52 "2014-07-13T20:58:03Z")
In their [native environment](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbfjS5BWvZA), I don’t think adult hippos have much to fear from crocodiles – and these are Nile crocs, a lot bigger than Orinoco crocs. ---
**Author:** ![JimNightshade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jimnightshade/32/3354_2.png) [@JimNightshade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimNightshade)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/53 "2014-07-14T12:13:40Z")
A Hippø once tried to bite my sister. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/54 "2014-07-14T12:41:18Z")
Elefino! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/55 "2014-07-14T13:01:20Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Hippos kill about 3,000 people per year. (although so far at least none of them in Colombia) > > On the other hand, Pablo Escobar was directly responsible for the murders of at least 4,000 people, probably many more, and if you count indirect responsibility from overdoses, gang violence, etc. the death toll probably numbers in the millions. Well, of course the hippos didn’t go around killing people in Columbia. They had Pablo Escobar do it \*for \*them. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/56 "2014-07-14T13:08:40Z")
We laugh, but they are probably moving north. First we had the Africanized Killer Bee invasion. Next will be nests of Hippos waiting for some unsuspecting toddler to waddle by. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/57 "2014-07-14T13:59:17Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > A huge number of Colombians think of him as some sort of folk hero so why would they worry about a few cute little hippos? Hippocrisy. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/58 "2014-07-14T19:42:52Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > This needs to be nipped in the bud before there are thousands of hippos across thousands and thousands of square miles of an ecosystem where they do not belong. Are we sure that’s actually going to happen? The news article indicates a herd of 50-60, but apparently they are all descended from an initial group of just three females and one male. In terms of genetic diversity, [that’s damn close to zero](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population_bottleneck), and such a lack of diversity is known to cause physiological problems. Cheetahs for example are suffering from fertitility problems, and it’s believed to be related to a population bottleneck that occurred during the last ice age. I’m not a biologist, but I would guess that this population of hippos will snuff outself out in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/59 "2014-07-14T20:27:59Z")
I have vague memories of my parents suggesting a family vacation to a cabin where we could watch the feral hippos of Colombia. My sister dubiously said “Hippo camp? _Us?_” ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936/60 "2014-07-14T20:55:43Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I have vague memories of my parents suggesting a family vacation to a cabin where we could watch the feral hippos of Colombia. > > My sister dubiously said “Hippo camp? _Us?_” No. Just…no. I am revoking your internet privileges for 24 hours. Please turn off any and all devices that can connect to the internet. You are on your own recognizance, and pay no attention to those drones approaching your window… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-drug-lords-and-their-hippos/692936.md?page=4)