# Stupid Gun news of the day (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 29, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-gun-news-of-the-day-part-1/648729 "2013-01-29T19:01:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 5976
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2015, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-gun-news-of-the-day-part-1/648729/5976 "2015-10-05T11:51:42Z")
Anyone who thinks I’m exaggerating about the utter freakiness of gun freaks missed a recent post in another thread: > [@Common sense gun legislation?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-sense-gun-legislation/733300/74): > > I’ll trade you. > > I’ll go along with that, if you’ll go along with my addendum: > > 1. Everybody who can pass a background check is **REQUIRED** to own a gun. > 2. Any such person who cannot afford a gun will be provided one free of charge by the government. > 3. Gun ownership is a requirement for any elected office. > 4. Giving away, destroying, mutilating, or anything else that renders a gun unusable by the original owner shall be punished by a mandatory 15-year prison term. > 5. Any person who cannot pass the handgun aptitude test shall be given free remedial lessons for at least 3 months. > 6. There shall be no restriction on any form of carry of any type of weapon in any place whatsoever. > 7. Anybody who calls the police at the sight of somebody calmly open carrying shall be given a 6-month prison sentence for misuse of emergency services. I didn’t click “Find recent posts by Flyer.” Apologies for Flyer if this was parody. Pity for Flyer if it wasn’t. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-gun-news-of-the-day-part-1/648729)._