# Stupid hammer tricks, or Sauron's Gravity Experiment
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 18, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891 "2015-06-18T20:21:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/41 "2015-06-26T12:53:41Z")
When our power went out last Friday, I called out “Curse you **Sauron**!” My oldest, who’s reading Return of the King heard me, and has decided that blaming all of life’s misfortune on The Dark Lord had merit. I’ve heard him several times in the last week.
So, you’ve got that going for you.
---
### Author:  [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2015, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/42 "2015-06-26T13:06:13Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#):
>
> When our power went out last Friday, I called out “Curse you **Sauron**!” My oldest, who’s reading Return of the King heard me, and has decided that blaming all of life’s misfortune on The Dark Lord had merit. I’ve heard him several times in the last week.
>
> So, you’ve got that going for you.
How cool would it be if this caught on? I’d be some sort of real-life Internet meme! I could be a cultural touchpoint! My screen name would be like … like … twerking! Wouldn’t that be GREAT?
Well, on second thought, maybe not.
Still, **Maus Magill** , I should tell you your post made me laugh out loud. I’ll think about that all day. Thanks!
---
### Author:  [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/43 "2015-06-26T15:41:30Z")
> [@Sauron](#):
>
> That reminds me! I need to build a new doghouse for our dog Baxter. Shouldn’t take me more than a couple of hours, tops.
>
> I hope you’ve stockpiled plenty of canned goods and supplies.
Do they make hardhats for dogs?
---
### Author:  [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/44 "2015-06-26T18:42:23Z")
> [@Sauron](#):
>
> Grestarian, you seem like a fine, upstanding person with impeccable taste…
Wow! Now even my mother is doubled-over and laughing hysterically – and she was cremated six years ago!
> [@Sauron](#):
>
> I hate you.
Ahh…you’ve stolen my sister’s mantra (of the last five years).
> [@Spiderman](#):
>
> Seriously? Let us know how it turns out?
> Lost Wages is now closed because of your suggestions; they lack drinking water & the Hoover Dam is a pile of climbing rocks!
Well, maybe they can plug those dam holes with masonry bolts on sleeved masonry inserts. We’ll invite Sauron to do the work.
–G! 😃
---
### Author:  [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/45 "2015-06-26T20:45:21Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#):
>
> Do they make hardhats for dogs?
[Indeed they do.](http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-86054107059876_2269_141989697)
Rumor has it that Sauron’s next-door neighbor was the inventor.
---
### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2015, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/46 "2015-06-27T00:10:29Z")
I live next door to Sauron. [It didn’t happen quite the way he explained it.](http://maverickheaven.homestead.com/files/hammer_1.jpg)
---
### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2015, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/47 "2015-06-27T04:37:01Z")
> [@Sauron](#):
>
> I hope you’ve stockpiled plenty of canned goods and supplies.
I’m filling a bathtub now.
Even Baxter is in his begging position, inwardly screaming NOOOOO! What is the opposite of a furiously wagging tail?
---
### Author:  [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2015, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/48 "2015-06-27T06:03:49Z")
I want your book but I don’t have an e-reader. Or a cell phone. I can’t even play my favorite game “Hidden Objects” because every time I try to download one I can no longer get my email.
Please write out your entire book on paper and send it to me. I’ll pay the postage.
---
### Author:  [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891/49 "2015-10-14T15:25:22Z")
I know this thread is four months old at this point, and I hope you’ll forgive me for reviving it, but I just wanted everyone to know …
THE VINE HAS RETURNED!
Seriously, it’s grown higher than ever, and looks healthy as a hammer. _Horse_, I mean. Healthy as a horse.
My projects so rarely turn out the way they’re supposed to. Pardon me while I gloat.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-hammer-tricks-or-saurons-gravity-experiment/722891.md?page=2)