# Stupid highway signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287 "2020-05-06T18:35:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/1 "2020-05-06T18:35:45Z")
The following applies to I-75, a road I have traveled all too often in the past year. On some of the entrance ramps, there are signs listing various vehicles and items which are prohibited on the interstate. One of these is “Animals On Foot”. It makes me wonder: are wandering cows really smart enough to read the sign and know they’re not supposed to merge onto the highway? Was there ever a plague of simple country folk leading their livestock into high-speed traffic? Maybe some genius hoped that deer would take the hint and stop darting into the road. In Ohio, north and southbound traffic is greeted at a bridge with a sign that says “Little Miami River, A Federal And State Scenic River”. It may be scenic as hell, but the concrete abutments beyond the highway shoulders are so high, it’s impossible to see the river. “Believe Us, It’s A Scenic River”. Travelers on the highway in south central Ohio get a wonderful hell-and-damnation wakeup call by giant billboards that proclaim “Where Will You Spend Eternity?” and “Hell Is Real”\* (on the flip side, northbound drivers are regaled with the Ten Commandments). Elsewhere in the Buckeye State, you learn that “Holy Matrimony Is One Man And One Woman”. I keep forgetting, so the reminder is helpful. \*I enjoy the fact that the burgeoning MLS rivalry between the Columbus Crew and the new Cincinnati soccer team has been dubbed “Hell Is Real”. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/2 "2020-05-06T18:42:40Z")
Correction: the latter two examples pertain to I-71. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/3 "2020-05-06T18:51:34Z")
Down a particularly lonely state highway you cross the \*\*Caney Creek \*\* on a very large, long and over kill bridge. The **Caney Creek** is mostly a dry creek from what I can tell. About 5mi down the highway you cross a not nearly as large/long bridge over the **Caney Creek Relief**. Which is invariably out of it banks. I know I’m **relieved** to be over it without drowning. ETA: isn’t there a Caney Creek in every jurisdiction? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/4 "2020-05-06T19:02:56Z")
Missouri has signs that say “Headlights on when wipers are required.” Seems like it should be “Headlights required when wipers are on.” In Iowa there are a lot of places with signs that say “No passing zones unmarked”, which to me sounds like an assurance that EVERY passing zone is marked. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/5 "2020-05-06T19:07:30Z")
When I see signs saying “Bridge May Be Icy”, I always feel good that it is permitted to do so. (Yes, I know…) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/6 "2020-05-06T19:17:58Z")
I own a big orange sign that reads “WATER ON ROAD DURING RAIN” I wish I knew what led to its creation, and by what agency. Orange is normally for road work, so maybe some drains were temporarily blocked to keep construction debris out? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/7 "2020-05-06T19:22:39Z")
> [@Sicks Ate](#): > > Missouri has signs that say “Headlights on when wipers are required.” In North Carolina, they use the curious term “Burn Headlights When Using Windshield Wipers” ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/8 "2020-05-06T19:24:03Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > In North Carolina, they use the curious term “Burn Headlights When Using Windshield Wipers” So like…get out and light the carbide??:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/9 "2020-05-06T19:42:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Sicks Ate** : > > In Iowa there are a lot of places with signs that say “No passing zones unmarked”, which to me sounds like an assurance that EVERY passing zone is marked. Um, yes? What else would it mean, and why would that be a silly sign? As to the OP’s example of “animals on foot not permitted”, it’s not there for the animals to read; it’s for the humans riding, herding, or otherwise leading the animals. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/10 "2020-05-06T19:55:31Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Um, yes? What else would it mean, and why would that be a silly sign? > > As to the OP’s example of “animals on foot not permitted”, it’s not there for the animals to read; it’s for the humans riding, herding, or otherwise leading the animals. What it MEANS is that “no passing zones” are NOT marked. But it sounds to me like the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/11 "2020-05-06T19:58:20Z")
And here I thought it meant that the cows had to ride bicycles. Oh, wait, bicycles are not permitted on freeways. Get out the Harley, Elsie! (That sounds suspiciously like a Far Side Cartoon…) ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/12 "2020-05-06T20:23:35Z")
Somewhere, in the middle of Bum-Fuck Utah, about 40 miles East of the last town I went through was a sign that read “No Services next 25 miles”. Wouldn’t it make more sense to move that sing 40 west and make it say “No Services next 65 miles”? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/13 "2020-05-06T20:27:24Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Somewhere, in the middle of Bum-Fuck Utah, about 40 miles East of the last town I went through was a sign that read “No Services next 25 miles”. > > Wouldn’t it make more sense to move that sing 40 west and make it say “No Services next 65 miles”? Are you sure you didn’t miss tiny letters at the bottom that said “Hahahaha SUCKERRRR!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/14 "2020-05-06T20:39:07Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Missouri has signs that say “Headlights on when wipers are required.” > > Seems like it should be “Headlights required when wipers are on.” > > In Iowa there are a lot of places with signs that say “No passing zones unmarked”, which to me sounds like an assurance that EVERY passing zone is marked. On Missouri state highways, I have seen speed limit signs that say “SPEED LIMIT 65”. Then right under that is a sign that says “Speed Limit 25 Except Where Posted.” I have never understood how that is supposed to work. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/15 "2020-05-06T21:34:48Z")
These are changeable highway signs that can be used to report hazards or delays. One of the standard messages when not in use for that is “Police enforce DWI laws”. Like I must be thinking it must be the sanitation department that did that and thank you for informing me it is in fact the police that do that enforcement. Other one is ‘slow children’, as they are usually pretty fast and sometimes erratic. Not a highway sign, but I’ve seen some signs that say things like “No Loitering - Police take notice”. I always wondered if that was a statement to the potential loiterer that Police do notice this here, or a request to the police to take notice. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/16 "2020-05-06T21:50:34Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > The following applies to I-75, a road I have traveled all too often in the past year. > > On some of the entrance ramps, there are signs listing various vehicles and items which are prohibited on the interstate. One of these is “Animals On Foot”. At the risk of sounding like I’ve been whooshed, I would guess it’s because at some point, someone decided to ride a horse on the interstate. Eons ago on the Baltimore Beltway, there was a sign reading “Future Exit” - but it’s not like there was something there that looked like an exit that wasn’t. Best guess - they had enough money to erect the sign, figuring in the future, they’d correct it? No clue… ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/17 "2020-05-06T21:54:33Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Um, yes? What else would it mean, and why would that be a silly sign? It’s ambiguous unless you’re familiar with the peculiar way road signs tend to be phrased. If English worked like German, it would be clearer: Nopassingzone unmarked or: no Passingzone unmarked ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/18 "2020-05-06T22:06:45Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > On Missouri state highways, I have seen speed limit signs that say “SPEED LIMIT 65”. Then right under that is a sign that says “Speed Limit 25 Except Where Posted.” I have never understood how that is supposed to work. That means 25 is the default speed limit in whatever little town you’re entering; some version of that sign will be posted on all of the roads into town, rather than posting each street in town separately. The only streets in town that have their own speed limit signs are the ones where it isn’t 25mph, such as the state highway leading through town, but you can get ticketed for doing 40 on unmarked streets. ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/19 "2020-05-06T22:21:23Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Missouri has signs that say “Headlights on when wipers are required.” > > Seems like it should be “Headlights required when wipers are on.” Well, there might be some contrarians who might try to argue with the latter version, either you don’t need to have your headlights on, just that your vehicle needs to equipped with headlights if you are going to turn on your wipers. Alternatively, perhaps they might argue they don’t have to turn on their headlights if they just keep their wipers off. > [@](#): > > In Iowa there are a lot of places with signs that say “No passing zones unmarked”, which to me sounds like an assurance that EVERY passing zone is marked. While this has been replied to in several posts, my take on it is most highways don’t have “Passing Zones” but, rather “No Passing Zones” and the sign is to advise motorists that some “No Passing Zones” may be unmarked. However, if you want to interpret the sign as all of the passing zones are marked, that works, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2020, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287/20 "2020-05-06T22:26:20Z")
I was driving CA Highway 1 south of Carmel and at an exit the sign said End Landscaping. My friend wondered, “is that a protest sign?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-highway-signs/853287.md?page=2)