# Stupid library patrons **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104 "2005-08-15T15:43:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/1 "2005-08-15T15:43:08Z")
This just happened, so it’s nice and fresh in my mind. And here I sit with some free computer time. A woman comes up to the circ desk complaining that a DVD “won’t play the second part”. The circ desk staff is stumped so they come back to me and ask the same question she did. I don’t understand the question. It’s the second disc of a Charmed set, so it has four episodes on it, but there’s no “second part”. I test the DVD in one of the library’s computers, it plays fine. It brings up the first episode right away and I can go to the menu and pick any episode and it’ll play fine. So I go up to the circ desk to talk to the woman and ask her what her question means. I tell her “I don’t understand the question” She replies “You mean none of these guys told you my question? Why were they gone so long? They told me they asked the expert?” I replied, “They told me, I just don’t understand, what do you mean by 'it doesn’t play the second part.” She says “There are four episodes here and it only brings up the first one. I can’t play any of the others.” Ah, she doesn’t know how to work her DVD player. I tell her to press the MENU button and that will bring up the MENU which will let you play any episode you want. She says (and here’s the kicker): “Are you sure? I don’t think that’ll work. How does that work?” I say “It’ll work, if not your DVD player is broken.” Finally she says (and here’s the kicker): “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.” No lady, you don’t know how to work your DVD player. And you voluntarily watch Charmed :rolleyes: No offense to any Charmed fans. I’m sure you’re charming people. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/2 "2005-08-15T16:23:00Z")
And the patrons who do not take proper care of the CDs and DVDs they borrow need to be taken into the parking lot and gut-shot. Half the time I borrow a music CD or audio book (up to 20 CDs!) I get something that looks like it spent some time in a rock-tumbler and then was the subject of a Consumer Reports belt-sander test. FUCKERS! SUCK MY COCK WHILE I TAKE A FAT SMELLY DUMP YOU ASSGOBLINS! ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/3 "2005-08-15T16:27:17Z")
Patron: “I need to exchange this DVD. Half the movie’s missing.” Employee: “it’s letterboxed … that means you actually get MORE movie than you would … oh, never mind.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/4 "2005-08-15T17:04:43Z")
> [@cowgirl](#): > > Patron: “I need to exchange this DVD. Half the movie’s missing.” > Employee: “it’s letterboxed … that means you actually get MORE movie than you would … oh, never mind.” I have a brother-in-law who thinks full-screen is better than wide-screen. We don’t discuss it with him any more. We do, however, dump any full-screen videos we inadvertently get on him. 😃 Oh yeah, the OP - it is indeed frustrating for people who don’t know what they’re doing to think _you’re_ the one who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Oh well, what are you going to do - drag them behind a dumpster and hack them to death with a meat cleaver? ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/5 "2005-08-15T17:50:09Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Oh well, what are you going to do - drag them behind a dumpster and hack them to death with a meat cleaver? It’s actually not as satisfying as you might expect. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/6 "2005-08-16T02:05:49Z")
This is what happens when technical and non-technical people meet. Neither side leaves happy. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/7 "2005-08-16T02:21:11Z")
My favorite last week was the woman who wanted to borrow Window XP. Gee, with all those computers and all, she should be able to take home some disks to install on her own computer, right? We tried, really _tried_ to explain that it was illegal, copyright, bladdabladda. Nope, she was furious anyway. Quote: “That’s just ridiculous. I Pay Taxes! Are you telling me I have to _buy_ it?” There’s nothin’ more fun than somebody pitching a frothing, self-righteous snit. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/8 "2005-08-16T03:51:08Z")
Hey! Nobody told me that my taxes include free Operating Systems! Seriously, what hole do these people live in that they don’t seem to know _any_thing? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/9 "2005-08-16T04:21:38Z")
She’s probably been copying music from CDs right along. She figures this is just another CD. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/10 "2005-08-16T04:40:07Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Hey! Nobody told me that my taxes include free Operating Systems! Seriously, what hole do these people live in that they don’t seem to know _any_thing? The funny thing is, my public library has a book that includes install disks for a hopelessly outdated version of Slackware Linux. My tax dollars do indeed pay for people to access a free operating system, but Tux help the poor sucker who actually tries to use it on modern hardware. Of course, my library just recently replaced their monochrome Wyse terminals with Wintel PCs and sold their Apple //e gathering dust in the lower-floor stacks to a collector. I guess the Linux book is a step up from the Minix book (Install a castrated Unix on your IBM PC XT!) I presume they had before I moved here. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/11 "2005-08-16T05:00:58Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > …A woman comes up to the circ desk complaining that a DVD “won’t play the second part”. The circ desk staff is stumped so they come back to me and ask the same question she did. > > I don’t understand the question. It’s the second disc of a Charmed set… > [@saoirse](#): > > …She’s probably been copying music from CDs right along. She figures this is just another CD. There, IMHO, are 2 more reasons why libraries shouldn’t be in the business of stocking videos and music. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/12 "2005-08-16T05:22:55Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > My favorite last week was the woman who wanted to borrow Window XP. Gee, with all those computers and all, she should be able to take home some disks to install on her own computer, right? > > We tried, really _tried_ to explain that it was illegal, copyright, bladdabladda. Nope, she was furious anyway. Quote: “That’s just ridiculous. I Pay Taxes! Are you telling me I have to _buy_ it?” > > There’s nothin’ more fun than somebody pitching a frothing, self-righteous snit. I had exactly the same thing happen with a patron who wanted me to help him download MS Office. I couldn’t convince him that it’s not freeware “because I downloaded it before- that’s how I see Power Points!” Sir, you downloaded a Power Point Reader. Those _are_ free, but the program itself (the one that lets you make Power Points) is not. “Who says?” Uh… Bill Gates… He asked to speak to the library director, who told him the same thing but less tactfully, and he left cursing about our inefficiency. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/13 "2005-08-16T06:34:51Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > My favorite last week was the woman who wanted to borrow Window XP. Gee, with all those computers and all, she should be able to take home some disks to install on her own computer, right? > > We tried, really _tried_ to explain that it was illegal, copyright, bladdabladda. Nope, she was furious anyway. Quote: “That’s just ridiculous. I Pay Taxes! Are you telling me I have to _buy_ it?” > > There’s nothin’ more fun than somebody pitching a frothing, self-righteous snit. Aw. Send home the CD. Just don’t include the CD key. It’d be all sorts of fun. (Yeah, I know you can’t. But it’s fun to dream, isn’t it?) ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/14 "2005-08-16T11:45:34Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I have a brother-in-law who thinks full-screen is better than wide-screen. We don’t discuss it with him any more. We do, however, dump any full-screen videos we inadvertently get on him. 😃 Oh yeah, I cannot wait for the day when the last 4:3 TV rolls off the assembly line and then people like your brother-in-law will go nuts when all their “Full-Screen” TV shows will have black/gray bars on the sides when viewed on a brand-new 16:9 TV. Your explanation will fly over their heads. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/15 "2005-08-16T11:47:15Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > And the patrons who do not take proper care of the CDs and DVDs they borrow need to be taken into the parking lot and gut-shot. Half the time I borrow a music CD or audio book (up to 20 CDs!) I get something that looks like it spent some time in a rock-tumbler and then was the subject of a Consumer Reports belt-sander test. FUCKERS! SUCK MY COCK WHILE I TAKE A FAT SMELLY DUMP YOU ASSGOBLINS! I wish they would photograph the disk and the patron when they check out and then compare the disk to the photo when they return it. And fine the pricks when it comes back looking like it was used as a coaster. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/16 "2005-08-16T12:47:38Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > Oh yeah, I cannot wait for the day when the last 4:3 TV rolls off the assembly line and then people like your brother-in-law will go nuts when all their “Full-Screen” TV shows will have black/gray bars on the sides when viewed on a brand-new 16:9 TV. Your explanation will fly over their heads. Heh–I’ve defended full-screen movies here before (I’ve got a pretty small television and don’t want to purchase a bigger one, and full-screen means sacrificing some parts of the movie in exchange for having the remaining picture show up larger on my screen, so that I can see details better), but I would love to have a widescreen television. Do they make relatively inexpensive TVs in widescreen? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/17 "2005-08-16T12:54:30Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > And the patrons who do not take proper care of the CDs and DVDs they borrow need to be taken into the parking lot and gut-shot. Half the time I borrow a music CD or audio book (up to 20 CDs!) I get something that looks like it spent some time in a rock-tumbler and then was the subject of a Consumer Reports belt-sander test. FUCKERS! SUCK MY COCK WHILE I TAKE A FAT SMELLY DUMP YOU ASSGOBLINS! Oooo! I am so wioth you. Half the time it looks like they licked the DVD. Listen fucknuts, YOU DON’T NEED TO TOUCH THE DVD WHILE IT’S IN YOUR POSSESSION! Just hold it around the edges! Aaaaaa! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/18 "2005-08-16T13:32:37Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Heh–I’ve defended full-screen movies here before (I’ve got a pretty small television and don’t want to purchase a bigger one, and full-screen means sacrificing some parts of the movie in exchange for having the remaining picture show up larger on my screen, so that I can see details better), but I would love to have a widescreen television. Do they make relatively inexpensive TVs in widescreen? > > Daniel Depends on what you mean by inexpensive. I was jsut quickly looking at [Bestbuy.com](http://Bestbuy.com) and there was a 26" widescreen for $450, or close to that. I only found a couple TVs smaller than that in widescreen, but they are LCD, so they actually cost more for less inches. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/19 "2005-08-16T14:13:55Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > I wish they would photograph the disk and the patron when they check out and then compare the disk to the photo when they return it. And fine the pricks when it comes back looking like it was used as a coaster. I agree. Plus, there’s no incentive to report when some media is defective. Actually, I have incentive NOT to report it. The one time I reported a bad CD (from an audio book set) when I returned it, they must have threw it in the ‘damaged’ pile and forgot to check it out of my name. For months my account had this thing checked out in my name, and of course overdue. My explanations did nothing to help, I abandoned going to the library for a while. One day several months later I decided to give another try at explaining what happened, and it was already off my account. My guess is they finally scanned it while throwing it out or something. In any case, my point is I’m not going to bother again to try and do the right thing. Not worth the hassle. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104/20 "2005-08-16T15:06:47Z")
On the other hand, I’ve found that playing audiobooks from the library is great! Currently, instead of our vaccous FM rubbish, I’m listening to _The Hobbit_. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-library-patrons/317104.md?page=2)