# Stupid movie comments **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238 "2002-11-04T17:02:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/1 "2002-11-04T17:02:55Z")
You know what my favorite Tom Cruise movie is? You know that one where’s he that reall cool guy who’s the best at what he does, and then like something bad happens, and he loses it and can’t do it anymore because he’s lost his confidence and his wildness? Oh yeah, and then he gets it back, and hooks up with the girl and matures some? Yeah, that movie. What’s the name? That’s my favorite. * * * I kind of liked Castaway, except for the part where Tom Hanks was alone. That part wasn’t good. * * * What I love about the Highlander movies is that they all fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, and the consistency provides a gestalt greater than the sum of the parts. * * * While watching Staying Alive I realized how much I miss legwarmes and lycra. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/2 "2002-11-04T17:49:12Z")
I liked Saving Private Ryan except I couldn’t tell any of them apart 'cause they all like wore the same-looking clothes. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/3 "2002-11-04T20:36:20Z")
Here’s an incredibly stupid movie comment which pretty much directly contradicts every piece of remotely objective evidence, but which has become accepted as gospel: “_Titanic_ was a bad movie” ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/4 "2002-11-04T20:39:26Z")
Take the red pill. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/5 "2002-11-04T21:03:41Z")
No, take both pills, get really fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/6 "2002-11-04T21:34:43Z")
Cut the red wire… no… cut the lavender one with the pretty teal stripes and the cute bow. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/7 "2002-11-04T21:43:08Z")
Even though you haven’t actually seen the body, go ahead and assume the bad guy is dead. I mean, come on, no one could survive all that and still come back, covered in blood, for one last attempt at revenge, right? ---
**Author:** ![ForgottenLore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@ForgottenLore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForgottenLore)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/8 "2002-11-04T22:38:56Z")
If the news reports say a maniac just escaped from the local asylum, and you’ve just noticed that the butcher knife is missing from the knife rack, and the family dog seems to have gone missing, and SUDDENLY the lights go out… the best thing to do is to go down to the basement alone with a balky flashlight and see if you can’t fix that pesky fusebox. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/9 "2002-11-04T22:39:36Z")
Here’s a real-life one: Father’s Imbecile Girlfriend: I didn’t see Fellowship of the Rings because it was so violent, and I hate violence in movies. My Wonderful Girlfriend: Well, yeah, it was violent, but the violence felt pretty appropriate. The story is an epic story, sort of like Beowulf. FIG: I didn’t see that one either. Me: Beowulf is an ancient poem, Naomi. It’s not a movie. FIG: Well, I still didn’t see it. Daniel PS And to head off you smartasses at the pass: I know there was a direct-to-video movie of Beowulf. I guarandamntee you she is not aware of that fact. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/10 "2002-11-04T23:15:53Z")
So far I can’t tell. Is this stupid comments about movies, or comments about stupid movies? I think the slowly moving device that is going to cause the hero’s death as soon as the bad guy leaves the room is the best tension device I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/11 "2002-11-05T00:54:10Z")
“I saw an action movie the other day, and it had a bomb in it, I think. I couldn’t really tell – it didn’t have a red digital readout. I mean, they _said_ it was a bomb, but it didn’t have a glowing red countdown, so how were we supposed to know for sure?” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/12 "2002-11-05T00:56:54Z")
So, like, it’s some kinda sled? ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/13 "2002-11-05T01:20:40Z")
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to _speed_ around the city, keeping its _speed_ over fifty. And if its _speed_ dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called… “The bus that couldn’t slow down.” ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-movie-comments/135238/14 "2002-11-05T01:46:39Z")
I heard it’s like Speed 2, but with a bus.