# Stupid neighbor heathen children. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 14, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452 "2009-03-14T21:41:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/21 "2009-03-15T12:36:02Z")
I’m going to take the low road and suggest doing what you do with any other vermin attacking gardens… pellet gun. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/22 "2009-03-15T12:49:20Z")
> [@rwhbyu](#): > > I pit my neighbors 4 heathen children for continually messing with my garden… If they were my kids, they would be dead. That was a really funny rant. I know you’re annoyed but I do love the use of the word “heathen”. My mother used to use that word to describe my sister and me when we were kids. Anyhow, I agree with planting poison ivy. I think that’s a great idea and would work without looking like you 're obviously taking revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/23 "2009-03-15T13:05:15Z")
Bribe the little—_darlings_. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/24 "2009-03-15T18:58:07Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I don’t suppose you could befriend the little hoodlums? Not that they deserve it, or that you’re obligated to, or that it would necessarily “work,” but if it did, it would be the best thing all around. It’s not their fault that their father’s a dick and their mother isn’t Mom of the Year. Maybe they need some positive influences in their lives—an adult who is actually kind to them and treats them like human beings. > > Just a thought. This is the only thing that will work. If you become their cookie fairy, they won’t WANT to mess up your stuff. If you go over their heads to a parent or a condo board or whatever, they’ll just do it more sneakily. It will get worse. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/25 "2009-03-15T19:36:42Z")
Take the Mother to Small claims court. Build a case document the damage they’ve done and the sue her for damages. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/26 "2009-03-15T21:01:02Z")
If you’ve planted your flowers in a common area, there may not be much you can do other than ask them politely not to step on them. Perhaps if you planted them in pots, it would help. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/27 "2009-03-15T21:05:28Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you’ve planted your flowers in a common area, there may not be much you can do other than ask them politely not to step on them. Perhaps if you planted them in pots, it would help. Pots with razor sharp shards of glass, to discourage them from digging around. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/28 "2009-03-15T21:09:36Z")
It sounds like you’re the bitchy, mean neighbor lady that all the kids hate. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/29 "2009-03-15T21:27:54Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > It sounds like you’re the bitchy, mean neighbor lady that all the kids hate. Yes op is a horrible person for not wanting them to trash her garden. ---
**Author:** ![rwhbyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@rwhbyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rwhbyu)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/30 "2009-03-15T21:52:41Z")
I’m a dude. Unfortunately my “garden” is a little square of dirt that is under my stairs. So yes it technically is a common area which is why efforts or actions beyond the chemical warfare idea and bribery won’t really work. But any landscaping in this particular common area is up to the owner/resident of my particular unit. The lady whose kids piss me off has her own common area her kids can stomp around on and it would be super because the landscaping there consists of river rock and mud. Its just frustrating because its not in the middle of a lawn or anything, so there really is NO reason beyond being pests for the kids to go under my stair area. Among all the other stuff of course. As for being “bitchy”, all I have to say is “get bent”. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/31 "2009-03-15T22:14:40Z")
I suggest talking to the older kid alone. Tell him that you view him as the man of the house, and as someone who has control over his younger siblings. Then let him know, in no uncertain terms, that you are going to hold HIM responsible for ANY damage caused by any of the heathens. Of course, you’ll have to leave it vague, but make it so the physical threat link is created in his head. If he does a good job, find some way to reward him. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/32 "2009-03-15T22:25:50Z")
I would do what magellan suggested, but spin it positive instead of threatening. Say, “I see that you’re the man of your house, and you’re in charge of your siblings. If I can trust you to keep them out of my garden, I’d be happy to buy you guys some ice cream pops a couple of times a month, or something. What do you say?” It might work. Or it might make you seem like a creepy neighbor guy, not sure. But since nothing else is working, offer of reward might be the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/33 "2009-03-15T23:35:52Z")
I vote for chemical warfare. There’s no reason you can’t plant whatever you like in your own garden…so if you plant something with unpleasant side-effects… 😃 If their mother won’t discipline them, your garden may have to. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/34 "2009-03-16T00:46:05Z")
If you do plant some attack plants I recommend [stinging nettles](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle). In addition to being highly nutritious folk remidies use them for everything from blood thinners, bleeding control, prostate problems, arthritis, lots of good stuff. They grow easy like weeds, and the best part. They give you horrid welts if you touch them. I hated those thing growing up. ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/35 "2009-03-16T12:54:49Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > That’s the problem - everyone these days pities the “single mom” so much and cut her so much slack that most of their children are _this close_ to criminals. Ths is true. I am a single mom and my kids did not behave like heathens because of it. I am not staying they were perfect but when they did get in trouble, which was not often, I made them own up to it. We had a heathen kid down the street when my kids were growing up and that kid was always in trouble. Breaking windows in cars and houses. He smashed our pumpkins one year at Halloween for no reason. The neighbor across the street seen him do it and told us. When we went to his grandmother, his mom was never around, she blew it off like it was just something that kids do. Pissed me off because if it was my kids I would have made them not only apologize but made them work at extra chores or something to at least pay for the pumpkins. I understand that you cannot always keep on eye on your kdis 24/7 but when they do get into shit make them own up to it. It starts with ripping out plants and continues to ripping off cars. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/36 "2009-03-16T12:58:32Z")
> [@SomeUserName](#): > > He smashed our pumpkins one year at Halloween for no reason. It was halloween. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/37 "2009-03-16T15:04:26Z")
> [@rwhbyu](#): > > I’m a dude. Unfortunately my “garden” is a little square of dirt that is under my stairs. So yes it technically is a common area which is why efforts or actions beyond the chemical warfare idea and bribery won’t really work. But any landscaping in this particular common area is up to the owner/resident of my particular unit. The lady whose kids piss me off has her own common area her kids can stomp around on and it would be super because the landscaping there consists of river rock and mud. > > Its just frustrating because its not in the middle of a lawn or anything, so there really is NO reason beyond being pests for the kids to go under my stair area. Among all the other stuff of course. > > As for being “bitchy”, all I have to say is “get bent”. Is there any way to fence that area off completely? As for your last line I think the phrase you were looking for is “Get off my lawn!”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/38 "2009-03-16T16:23:04Z")
I’d have to agree with taking the more positive approach as suggested by **Rubystreak**. But I would still include in the equation the notion of pain coming his way should he not be sufficiently enticed by the carrot. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/39 "2009-03-16T16:32:19Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > If you do plant some attack plants I recommend [stinging nettles](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle). In addition to being highly nutritious folk remidies use them for everything from blood thinners, bleeding control, prostate problems, arthritis, lots of good stuff. Less horrible than nettles, but still give me itchy bumps is Borage. Pretty little flowers, weed-like growth and selfseeding for the following year. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452/40 "2009-03-16T16:50:40Z")
Feed them to a woodchipper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-neighbor-heathen-children/489452.md?page=3)