# Stupid reasons you've had to see a doctor. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 3, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534 "2012-10-03T00:47:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/81 "2012-10-06T11:14:01Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > BTW, “having a bat” is Aussie slang for masturbation. I guess that makes sense: Me if I were in Australia: Doc, I’ve got hairy palms and I howl at the moon. I had a bat in my bedroom last night, maybe that’s why? Doc: Yes, and yes. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/82 "2012-10-06T13:58:16Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I was flown into town to our university hospital where a doctor attempted to remove the dead bug with forceps. Really? A _helicopter flight_ for a\* bug in your ear\*? Seems like a little overkill to me, but then, I’ve never had a bug in my ear… ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/83 "2012-10-06T15:19:35Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Well, I only saw the chiropractor after being encouraged to do so by three people who saw a chiropractor and felt the experience was worth the cost. So they must be doing something right. The only thing they do right is walletectomies. They are quacks, from the bottom to the top and through the middle too, and with the amount of unnecessary X-rays they do they are not harmless. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/84 "2012-10-06T17:29:25Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Well, I only saw the chiropractor after being encouraged to do so by three people who saw a chiropractor and felt the experience was worth the cost. So they must be doing something right. And oddly enough many people swear by colonics with coffee or other liquids. \ You can find a _lot_ of woo out there. How 'bout them sticky pads for the bottom of your feet to pull out the impurities … ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/85 "2012-10-06T17:35:56Z")
I clipped my big toenail too short. It became ingrown, and infected. Had to have it completely removed with a scalpel and pliers in the doc’s office. The pain was so bad that it was the first and only time in my life I fainted. I also had to have surgery to repair my nose after losing a fight. That’s the real stupid one. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/86 "2012-10-06T18:16:03Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Really? A _helicopter flight_ for a\* bug in your ear\*? Seems like a little overkill to me, but then, I’ve never had a bug in my ear… Remember, I was 50 miles out of town in Bumfuck, Arizona. The response time was faster than waiting for an ambulance to be sent, then driving back to town. Ten minutes in a helicopter vs. an hour’s ride back to Tucson. And I sure as hell appreciated it, even if you think it was overkill. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/87 "2012-10-06T21:40:38Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Really? A _helicopter flight_ for a\* bug in your ear\*? Seems like a little overkill to me, but then, I’ve never had a bug in my ear… Not even close. A personal phone call to the surgeon general of the United States at 2am, waking her from a dream inspiring the cure for the common cold to ask her for a pair of hemostats and a helping hand, is not overkill for a bug in my ear. A bug in \*your \*ear…well, sure… that can wait until office hours. 😉 _shudder_ I had a yellowjacket crawl into my ear once. She was probably in there for all of 12 seconds, but it was the longest 12 seconds of my life, especially because we were on a moving, bouncing, jostling school bus at the time. Thank gods she crawled out and flew away on her own. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/88 "2012-10-06T21:42:30Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > _shudder_ I had a yellowjacket crawl into my ear once. She was probably in there for all of 12 seconds, but it was the longest 12 seconds of my life, especially because we were on a moving, bouncing, jostling school bus at the time. Thank gods she crawled out and flew away on her own. Nightmare fuel :eek: My sleepless night is entirely your fault, I hope you are happy. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/89 "2012-10-06T21:44:39Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Remember, I was 50 miles out of town in Bumfuck, Arizona. The response time was faster than waiting for an ambulance to be sent, then driving back to town. Ten minutes in a helicopter vs. an hour’s ride back to Tucson. And I sure as hell appreciated it, even if you think it was overkill. Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not trying to criticise you! I’m just very surprised that they sent out a helicopter for something like that. I thought the helicopters were for traumas and heart attacks and that sort of thing, when the incident happens too far from a hospital for an ambulance to make it in time. I’m glad you got care quickly - I probably would have been flipping the fuck out about the bug and need to be sedated, so I can’t fault you for wanting it out of there _immediately_. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/90 "2012-10-06T21:56:30Z")
I used to take 1600mgs of Ibuprofin for cramps. Like a dumbass, I decided to take it on an empty stomach, and then got confused and took another dose just a couple of hours later. My stomach killed. I tried drinking, eating, nothing helped with the pain and it didn’t diminish. I’m one of those people who gets a stomach ache and worries she’s bleeding internally or something. I was pretty nervous. After about 9 hours of this, I called my doctor just to make sure I hadn’t overdosed. She asked how much I had taken, I told her 3200mgs, and she told me to go right to the ER. So, I did. During the three or so hours we were in the waiting room, I started feeling better and tried to leave twice, but the nurse practically begged me to stay and get checked out. I’m really a pushover about stuff like that, so I stayed. The nurse gave me some intravenous medicine that made my stomach feel relaxed and fuzzy, and then the doctors came around. Bless those handsome young men, they did not mock me. They told me it was fine to take 3200mgs of Ibuprofin and to next time eat something. So, 7 hours in the ER because I panicked about a double dose of Motrin. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Mattie\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@Mattie\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mattie_Blue)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/91 "2012-10-07T14:27:10Z")
I fell off the sofa and broke my nose. I was lying on my back with my feet up on the back of the sofa talking to my husband on the phone. I decided to get up, but something went wrong with my coordination. The only way I could describe it later was that my body suddenly decided to reorder the step by step instructions it normally followed to get off the couch. Landed nose first on hardwood floor. Luckily, it was a clean break. Just went home with some painkillers and a snoot full of bloody snot and instructions not to blow my nose for 24 hours. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/92 "2012-10-08T20:01:33Z")
Last year I had gotten a bad cold. It then turned into an ear infection in my left ear. I went to the doctor and got on some antibiotics, but it wouldn’t clear up. After another week and a half, I couldn’t hear out of my left ear, and the pressure buildup in my middle ear was so painful, that I went to the ER. They sent me home with some Vicodin, but it didn’t work. Later that day the pain was so great, I was literally banging my head on the wall. So Mrs. D called the ER back. They told me to go to a different ER, where they ended up giving me shot of morphine and a prescription for Oxycodin. All because of an ear infection. It turned out I was allergic to my daughter’s guinea pig. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/93 "2012-10-08T20:42:39Z")
It was either last year or the year before when I tried to swat a spider that was just out of reach, so I sort of lunged at it. An hour later, I couldn’t lift my right arm more than a few inches from my side without a lot of pain. Next morning, no improvement. I thought “are you fucking kidding me? From swatting a spider?” Off to the doc, who gave me a cortisone shot in the shoulder joint, while trying hard not to give me the “boy, are you a moron” look. And I missed the spider. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/94 "2012-10-08T22:15:42Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I used to take 1600mgs of Ibuprofin for cramps. Like a dumbass, I decided to take it on an empty stomach, and then got confused and took another dose just a couple of hours later. > > My stomach killed. I tried drinking, eating, nothing helped with the pain and it didn’t diminish. . . I did the same thing, **olivesmarch4th**. A couple of years ago I had two frozen shoulders and wrist tendonitis simultaneously. I was taking ibuprofen pretty steadily for the pain, although I never took more at a time than recommended, and even took less per day than the maximum allowed. One night I took some on a totally empty stomach and woke up at 2 a.m. with ferocious stomach pain. Nothing made it go away, and I finally had to be driven to ER. It went away a couple of hours later while I was talking to the ER doctor, but I was \>this\< close to eating a hole in my stomach lining, according to him. He said that I was never to have ibuprofen ever again, and I have not had any since that night. Tylenol doesn’t do squat for most pain, BTW. Stupid thing to go to the doctor for, but I didn’t know how dangerous it was to take nsaids on an empty stomach then. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/95 "2012-10-09T11:17:58Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Tylenol doesn’t do squat for most pain, BTW. Nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/96 "2012-10-09T12:07:49Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > He said that I was never to have ibuprofen ever again, and I have not had any since that night. Tylenol doesn’t do squat for most pain, BTW. > [@Szlater](#): > > Nonsense. Maybe that performance is idiosyncratic to **teela**. Acetaminophen is the best pain reliever for me other than the good stuff, but I try aspirin first due to it being better on the liver. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/97 "2012-10-09T12:59:51Z")
Acetaminophen and NSAIDS work (we think) on different pain pathways. Depending on your body’s strongest/most effective/hardest working pain pathway, one may indeed work while the other doesn’t. If, for example, your body is super great at making lots of prostaglandins, then prostaglandin blockers probably aren’t the best pain medications for you. Trial and error seems to be the best way to figure this out, unless you have a medical condition or medication regime which rules something out for you. Me, I’m a naproxen sodium gal. Love the stuff. Tylenol is only useful if it’s in addition to an NSAID for severe pain. My SO is on warfarin and daily aspirin, so Tylenol is his \*only \*allowed OTC pain medication. _shrug_ So we just keep both on hand. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/98 "2012-10-09T13:13:58Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Maybe that performance is idiosyncratic to **teela**. Acetaminophen is the best pain reliever for me other than the good stuff, but I try aspirin first due to it being better on the liver. Maybe I read **teela’s** post wrongly, I thought they were making a pronouncement on the general effectiveness of paracetamol, rather than a personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/99 "2012-10-09T15:49:30Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > Maybe I read **teela’s** post wrongly, I thought they were making a pronouncement on the general effectiveness of paracetamol, rather than a personal experience. I was lazy in my wording; Tylenol is ineffective on my and my husband’s pain. I do keep aspirin in the house, but try to avoid taking it because I’m in dread of more stomach trouble. When I have to resort to it, I make sure I eat food before and after taking it, as instructed by the doctor. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534/100 "2012-10-09T16:01:58Z")
Coughed, pulled a muscle in my butt, hurt so much to stand up and sit down that I went to the doc for relief. This was when I was like 22, too. Not old or anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-reasons-youve-had-to-see-a-doctor/636534.md?page=6)