# Stupid religious question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2015, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965 "2015-01-27T00:34:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/41 "2015-01-28T01:38:47Z")
> [@j666](#): > > I had no idea the antagonism existed anymore as any kind of tap. So, Protestants no longer whisper that Catholics sacrifice babies on the altar these days? That’s nice. Naaaah. But there is that odd cartoon about it now and then. Ever since the “Vatican Rag” picking on the musically just isn’t the same or we’d probably try a song as well. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/42 "2015-01-28T01:54:52Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > God seems like a girl who cares more about the intent rather than the outcome. If a murderer, while murdering someone, accidentally saves the life of someone about to commit suicide by stealing their gun, he’s still a bastard and will go to hell. But if someone, through genuine sincerity, accidentally causes the burning death of an entire orphanage because he was trying to rewire their electrical system and get rid of all the protruding wires, he’s still a good person at heart. > > You’d go to hell, you god mocker. OTOH, there was the story of the fire-and-brimstone preacher and the blasphemous, foul-tempered, reckless cab driver (who drove very erratically and at top speed at all times) who both died (of old age) on the same day, and were both greeted by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. The preacher was given a modest cottage of a mansion in which to dwell, while the cab driver found himself ensconced in the most sumptuous palace ever imagined by the mind of man. When the preacher questioned the justice of these arrangements, Saint Peter said, _“He scared the hell out of at least ten times as many people as you ever did.”_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/43 "2015-01-28T01:58:18Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Theoretically, you would go to that place atheists will go after this life. There, you’ll sit on a bench and watch movies about getting baptized and listen to long boring lectures on the life you lead and how beneficial forgiveness is. Then you’ll have to make a decision. Do you want to spend eternity on that hard bench watching movies about being baptized and listening to long lectures,or do you want to raise your hand and shout for glee that you’re now a believer and a Christian? If you choose the latter, you’ll board a new 787 Dreamliner and fly in luxury to the afterlife. _ **If you say no, you’ll stand in the back of a rickety old bus on a bumpy road in the heat of summer, next to 2 perspiring wrestlers and a flatulent old lady… for all eternity** _. > > _The Gospel According to Morgenstern_, Chapter II, verse XIII. Wait, so the bit about spending eternity on a hard bench is a LIE? Such a thing might lead me to suspect that all of the Dreamliners that the other folks get to ride have the kind of batteries that catch fire halfway through the trip… ---
**Author:** ![Cardboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Cardboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardboard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/44 "2015-01-28T01:58:57Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Gosh, if only there were a word for non-Catholic Christians…the ones that most Americans are, you know, the sects that formed when there were lots of protests against the Church a couple hundred years ago… > > We could maybe call them Protestings? Protesty People? Golly, there _has_ to be a term that rolls off the tongue better… Heretics? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/45 "2015-01-28T02:22:25Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Gosh, if only there were a word for non-Catholic Christians…the ones that most Americans are, you know, the sects that formed when there were lots of protests against the Church a couple hundred years ago… > > We could maybe call them Protestings? Protesty People? Golly, there _has_ to be a term that rolls off the tongue better… There’s also a word for the second largest group of Christians – about a quarter of a billion of them, some even living in the U.S., who are neither “Catholics” (in the narrow sense) nor “Protestants”. They belong to the Orthodox Church. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/46 "2015-01-28T02:42:14Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > No. CHARITY, not Faith, reflects in actions (and all the good works of the world are worthless if not done out of Love), but salvation is by grace alone. Man cannot save himself. And he cannot UNsave himself. We’re all stuck in the same pack, saved by the sacrifice of Jesus, whether we like it or not. Just hope your cloud is not on the same block as Hitler’s. He’s seen the error of his ways since being confronted with the magnificence of God, and he’s a weepy drunk. > [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Gosh, if only there were a word for non-Catholic Christians…the ones that most Americans are, you know, the sects that formed when there were lots of protests against the Church a couple hundred years ago… > > We could maybe call them Protestings? Protesty People? Golly, there _has_ to be a term that rolls off the tongue better… > [@Cardboard](#): > > Heretics? It’s always worked for me. Like them Orthodoxes, some of whom are related to me. When the Revolution comes BANG! they go up against the wall. Or to the stake. Always had a soft spot for the stake, I did. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/47 "2015-01-28T03:22:55Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Just hope your cloud is not on the same block as Hitler’s. He’s seen the error of his ways since being confronted with the magnificence of God, and he’s a weepy drunk. Worse, he keeps trying to give Donald Duck tattoos to people. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/48 "2015-01-28T04:10:39Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Gosh, if only there were a word for non-Catholic Christians…the ones that most Americans are, you know, the sects that formed when there were lots of protests against the Church a couple hundred years ago… > > We could maybe call them Protestings? Protesty People? Golly, there _has_ to be a term that rolls off the tongue better… I don’t think Non-Catholic Christians = Protestants. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/49 "2015-01-28T04:34:47Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I don’t think Non-Catholic Christians = Protestants. Add to that the fact that not all Catholic Christians are papists even though most people would equate the two and ------------ it does get confusing, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/50 "2015-01-28T05:07:48Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I don’t think Non-Catholic Christians = Protestants. Well, since the Vatican Rag was quoted up thread, I should point out that I, also, find Tom Lehrer to be an excellent source of religious education. He clearly portrays Protestants and Catholics as being oppositional: “Well, the Protestants hate the Catholics, And the Catholics hate the Protestants, And the Hindus hate the Moslems, And everybody hates the Jews!” ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/51 "2015-01-28T05:31:30Z")
The answer to the OP question is, basically, depends on who you ask. Universalist Christians would be quite fine with it ;). Also, not all Christians see heaven as the be all, end all. Revelation speaks of a new heaven and a new earth, where all the dead will rise, and God and His people will live together. Heaven and earth as one again… that’s the be all, end all (well, for some of us). ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/52 "2015-01-30T22:05:16Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Need answer fast? According to Matthew, Jesus is quoted as saying he would return in his father’s glory,with his angels, before some of them standing there had seen death. It didn’t happen! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965/53 "2015-01-30T23:42:32Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > If you say no, you’ll stand in the back of a rickety old bus on a bumpy road in the heat of summer, next to 2 perspiring wrestlers and a flatulent old lady… for all eternity. > > _The Gospel According to Morgenstern_, Chapter II, verse XIII. Well, that’s the trouble with these new omniscient push-button-app Deities, isn’t it? They never see that the two wrestlers are in love, which will annoy & distract the driver. That the old woman’s flatulence is pure methane. That old buses were made of steel on steel and fully capable of generating sparks. That the back of old buses always had a fire exit. That some even had ladders on the back to climb up to the top. …And that If there Can be Deities, that the very Spark of All things Deific must in some shape or form exist, however small, within All of us living things… somehow… …if we are willing to see it, willing to follow Who We Are… and to Imagine… 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-religious-question/710965.md?page=2)