# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1071
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21402 "2015-05-05T17:07:19Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Ah HA ! So there \*is \*an Obama Martial-Law Conspiracy To Take Over Texas ! … completely separate from the Walmart Martial Law Conspiracy to Take Over Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21403 "2015-05-05T17:14:58Z")
Obama vs. Walmart. Who wins? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21404 "2015-05-05T17:17:18Z")
Walmart. What could be more American than spreading all across the continent displacing things that were already there, cheap imports, and exploiting workers for profit? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21405 "2015-05-05T17:21:34Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > … completely separate from the Walmart Martial Law Conspiracy to Take Over Texas. I’ve got news for y’all: Wal-Mart took over Texas quite some time ago. I mean, just try to find a K-Mart around here. Well, except for towns with less than 5,000 population. Dairy Queen controls those. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21406 "2015-05-05T18:01:35Z")
The ones in Texas are Secret Kenyan Muslim Walmarts! ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21407 "2015-05-05T18:43:06Z")
It was only a matter of time, Louie Gohmert, an actual member of the federal government, [releases a word salad statement](http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/louie-gohmert-jade-helm-15) about how he understands the fears of his constituency. Money quote > [@](#): > > Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in ‘hostile’ control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21408 "2015-05-05T19:03:18Z")
[Chuck Norris jumps on the Jade Helm bandwagon.](http://aattp.org/chuck-norris-dont-trust-the-government-jade-helm-may-not-just-be-a-military-exercise/) ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21409 "2015-05-05T19:47:39Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > It was only a matter of time, Louie Gohmert, an actual member of the federal government, [releases a word salad statement](http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/louie-gohmert-jade-helm-15) about how he understands the fears of his constituency… From the same article, Gohmert refers to his military career. > [@](#): > > Having served in the U.S. Army, I can understand why military officials have a goal to see if groups of Special Forces can move around a civilian population without being noticed and can handle various threat scenarios. In military science classes or in my years on active duty, I have participated in or observed military exercises; however, we never named an existing city or state as a “hostile.” We would use fictitious names before we would do such a thing. After getting a history degree at Texas A&M, he got his law degree at Baylor. Then did a few years in the Army–in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps. Well, he probably did “observe” some exercises. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21410 "2015-05-05T20:09:11Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > [Chuck Norris jumps on the Jade Helm bandwagon.](http://aattp.org/chuck-norris-dont-trust-the-government-jade-helm-may-not-just-be-a-military-exercise/) _Norris, the closest thing the right-wing has to an intellectual after Buckley dead in 2008 …_ Whaaa? … oh, yeah, a quick review of this thread does support that. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21411 "2015-05-05T20:52:26Z")
When USAF General Curtiss LeMay was SAC commander, he had his crews practice bombing runs on American cities (which served as proxy Soviet targets), and nobody blinked an eye. If president Obama had some chutzpah, he could federalize the Texas Nat’l Guard during the exercise with standing orders have them watch and report any secessionist activities that the Texas state government may possibly be engaging in. Along with reminding certain GOP numbskulls about of Article Two, Section Two of the U. S. Constitution. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21412 "2015-05-05T21:49:42Z")
[quote=“Superdude, post:21384, topic:490897”] > [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > Au contraire, have you forgotten…demon sheep? > > [/QUOTE] > > God, how have I not seen this until today? You and me both. I’ve been missing out on some topnotch satire. This is an SNL sketch right? Right? Please, someone tell me that this is an SNL sketch. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21413 "2015-05-05T21:59:25Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > And then there’s the [demon blimp](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJKlc77K5dg&) ad Fiorina ran against Barbara Boxer She hired Terry Gilliam to do her campaign ad? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21414 "2015-05-05T22:04:29Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Ah HA ! So there \*is \*an Obama Martial-Law Conspiracy To Take Over Texas ! And since Wal-Mart denies involvement, we may take it as established fact that Wal-Mart is involved. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21415 "2015-05-05T22:08:42Z")
I think I have to side with Wal-Mart on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21416 "2015-05-05T22:13:55Z")
> [@user\_hostile](#): > > When USAF General Curtiss LeMay was SAC commander, he had his crews practice bombing runs on American cities (which served as proxy Soviet targets), and nobody blinked an eye. > > If president Obama had some chutzpah, he could federalize the Texas Nat’l Guard during the exercise with standing orders have them watch and report any secessionist activities that the Texas state government may possibly be engaging in. > > Along with reminding certain GOP numbskulls about of Article Two, Section Two of the U. S. Constitution. Not to side with the Whacko Right, but the Texas National Guard is not the same as the [Texas State Guard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Guard), which is solely a state organization. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21417 "2015-05-05T22:16:04Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Not to side with the Whacko Right, but the Texas National Guard is not the same as the [Texas State Guard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Guard), which is solely a state organization. Wiki sez it’s an “organized state militia.” Under the Constitution, all such can be federalized and the POTUS is then their CinC. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21418 "2015-05-06T01:17:39Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Not to side with the Whacko Right, but the Texas National Guard is not the same as the [Texas State Guard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Guard), which is solely a state organization. Learn something new everyday. Reinforcing BrainGlutton’s point, however… > [@](#): > > [‘’…the TXSG functions as an organized state militia under the authority of Title 32 of the U.S. Code and Chapter 431 of the Texas Government Code."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Guard) When you clink this [link](https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/32), the name of Title 32 is “National Guard” President Obama still has the option. In the meanwhile, Governor Abbot can put “Commander-In-Chief of the State Guard Military Opposing Evil Tyrant for Make Benefit Glorious State of Texas” on his resume of accomplishments. And more fodder for late-night comedians. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21419 "2015-05-06T01:58:13Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And since Wal-Mart denies involvement, we may take it as established fact that Wal-Mart is involved. Well obviously. It’s a suspiciously specific denial, isn’t it ? You don’t hear Lloyd’s or Citibank putting out communiqués about any plan to take over Texas. The fact that Wal-Mart does, and is THE ONLY COMPANY TO DO SO, is very telling. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21420 "2015-05-06T04:26:30Z")
Soon we will be seeing this headline: “Onion to pack it in. ‘We just can’t keep up’, editor complains.” ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/21421 "2015-05-06T04:42:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Wiki sez it’s an “organized state militia.” Under the Constitution, all such can be federalized and the POTUS is then their CinC. The U.S. Constitution? Is that relevant to Texas? After all, the State Guard emblem has gold fringe on it. 😛 (And a U.S. flag with 30 stars; what’s that about? Texas was admitted as state #28. Is it just expressing hatred for California, state #31?) BTW, “Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) suggested Tuesday his successor went too far in deploying state troops to oversee a U.S. military training exercise some fear is part of a plot to take over the southwest.” He’s not even a declared candidate and is already abandoning his base to pick up votes from the rational center? Good luck with that, Ricky. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=1070) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=1072)