# Stupid Republican idea of the day

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 278

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**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5541 "2012-05-23T15:03:42Z")

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You know, I love living in Iowa, until shit like this comes up. Thanks assholes for making us look like the shitheels in TX and AZ. ☹

That, and every time Steve King opens his mouth, I just cringe.

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5542 "2012-05-23T15:19:38Z")

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Yeah, that dude could give Louie Gohmert, Allen West and Illeana Ros-Lehtinen a run for their money.

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**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5543 "2012-05-23T15:20:17Z")

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Out here in the sticks Wednesday night is still very much “church night”, and every church I know of still has a full-on service that night. AFAICT they’re very sparsely attended compared to Sunday morning, but it’s still considered gauche to plan anything for that night.

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**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5544 "2012-05-23T15:32:26Z")

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> [@silenus](#):
>
> Now, can you give me a mailing address? I fear I am behind on my dues.

666 Arbat Street, Nairobi, Hawaii. Thank you for your continued support and may your sister wish upon an Eastern Star.

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5545 "2012-05-23T15:58:14Z")

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> [@DoctorJ](#):
>
> Out here in the sticks Wednesday night is still very much “church night”, and every church I know of still has a full-on service that night. AFAICT they’re very sparsely attended compared to Sunday morning, but it’s still considered gauche to plan anything for that night.

But what do they actually _want_ in legislative terms? A law requiring employers to give people Wednesday nights off?

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**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5546 "2012-05-23T16:02:17Z")

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Can you see what gay marriage has done to Iowa!?

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5547 "2012-05-23T16:06:04Z")

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> [@silenus](#):
>
> suddenly they are being persecuted and harried by The North American Alliance of the United Homosexual Atheist Communists.\*

_grumble_ Used to be the North American Alliance of the United Homosexual Islamofascist Communists. SPLITTERS !

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**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5548 "2012-05-23T16:11:32Z")

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> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> _grumble_ Used to be the North American Alliance of the United Homosexual Islamofascist Communists. SPLITTERS !

Who used to be the _United Alliance of North Americans Homosexual Islamofascists Atheists Communists_. Get your history right 😛

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**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5549 "2012-05-23T16:26:28Z")

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> [@detop](#):
>
> Who used to be the _United Alliance of North Americans Homosexual Islamofascists Atheists Communists_. Get your history right 😛

Was that the one that was started in Kenya?

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**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5550 "2012-05-23T16:53:01Z")

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> [@Folacin](#):
>
> Yeah, growing up in MN, Wednesday night was “church night”. We Catholics had our CYO meeting that night and the Methodist’s and (many flavors of) Lutherans did whatever for their youth.
> 
> I’m certain that religion is what the Iowegian GOP is aiming for, but I don’t see it as a problem - it’s nice to have a night when any organization (secular or not) can know that they won’t have a conflict with a school function (play, game, concert, etc).

I wonder what they do when they find out that Sharia also calls for no-event Wednesdays?

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5551 "2012-05-23T17:19:47Z")

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Iowa Republican Party Platform item 6: “The only sound basis for sound government and just human relations is “Natural Law”.” [http://iowagop.org/platform.php](http://iowagop.org/platform.php)

What, pray tell, my dear Doper, is “Natural Law”, you might ask. The Natural Law Party is headquartered in Vedic City, Iowa. This Iowa city “is working to establish a permanent group of peace-creating experts whose daily practice of Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation™ and Yogic Flying techniques will promote coherent national and world consciousness and thereby prevent any negativity from arising in America or in the family of nations.” [http://www.maharishivediccity-iowa.gov/](http://www.maharishivediccity-iowa.gov/)

The Natural Law Party Platform includes establishing a team of 1,000 yogic flyers, so as to dissolve collective stress, as indicated by significant reductions in crime, unemployment, sickness, and accidents, and improved economic indicators and quality of life, and provide an invincible defence. With 8,000 yogic flyers, there will be world peace. [Natural Law Party - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_Law_Party)

What then are yogic flyers? They are people who claim to be hovering in the air, when in fact they are bouncing on their knees while sitting cross-legged. You have to see this to believe it, or rather after seeing it, you will not believe it. [- YouTube](http://youtu.be/ZO8HI884_zI)

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**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5552 "2012-05-23T17:30:07Z")

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Whoa, hold it right there! Followers of Maharishi Yogi Bear have taken over the Iowa Republican Party? I reel, I stagger, I _plotz_!

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5553 "2012-05-23T17:48:48Z")

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> [@legalsnugs](#):
>
> Was that the one that was started in Kenya?

You’re thinking of ACORN. Totally different thing.

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**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5554 "2012-05-23T18:32:18Z")

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It’s time to come up with our own platform, only let’s make it as if were the Liberal Obamanauts of the Conservatives nightmares:

1. Kenya shall be made the 51st State of the Union.

2. Everybody must attend at least one gay marriage per year. Everyone must kiss at least one person of the same sex on the lips. Children must be taught safe gay sex.

3. The Catholic Church must perform abortion services and have extended hours on Sunday.

4. Anybody who is a male Caucasian must file a notarized apology to African-Americans, Muslims, and women with the local county clerk. Such apologies must full of contrition and remorse.

5. Everything must be printed in Spanish and English. EVERYTHING!

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5555 "2012-05-23T18:33:55Z")

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6} Every sentence must have the word “Fuck!” in it.

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**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5556 "2012-05-23T19:07:30Z")

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1. All religious holidays must be observed on the evening of the fifth Wednesday of the month.

2. Creationists are taxed at 90%.

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**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5557 "2012-05-23T19:09:40Z")

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1. Heterosexual marriage shall be banned by constitutional amendment. Marriage shall be defined as between ‘one man and one other man, one woman and one other woman, or one man and one non-human animal, or 7 sheep.’

2. Evolution must be taught in church.

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**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5558 "2012-05-23T19:17:59Z")

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This could be fun, should probably start a new thread for it.

1. Gun ownership or possession is now completely illegal.
2. Immigrants must be given food and shelter at any residence they deem fit.
3. Mandatory sex-ed for k-12. Abstinence cannot be said by a teacher.

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**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5559 "2012-05-23T19:19:22Z")

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1. Any UN law supersedes the law of the US.
2. Apologies will be issued to any country wronged by the U.S. in the course of it’s history.

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**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/5560 "2012-05-23T19:28:05Z")

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1. A immediate tax increase of 10% on all citizens, and the money will be used for immunizations, birth control, voter access, and people to audit and fine big businesses that break the law.

(heehee, this is fun!)

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