# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 320
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6381 "2012-08-14T14:46:42Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Romney picks running mate who would lower his taxes: > > That’s right: less than one percent. > > Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are. > > You know what you aren’t? You aren’t Albert Einstein expanding our understanding of the universe. You aren’t Dr. Paul Offit curing rotavirus in third world countries. You aren’t Isaac Newton or that Nobel prize winner in Burma bravely confronting the world’s worst government. You’re not a parent coping with a child with cystic fibrosis or the guy who wrote this year’s Pulitzer prize winning expose. You’re not the firefighter pulling the guy out of the burning building or the first grade teacher in the disadvantaged schools trying to teach little kids to read. > > You’re just a greedy little shit. So drop the fucking pretense. I am sick and tired of hearing people like yourself demanding to be worshipped by ordinary people and accorded a special place in the tax code. There are millions of others who serve this country and this world far more than you ever will. Stop throwing a temper tantrum, grow the fucking hell up and pay your fair share of taxes like the rest of us. \<\<\\>\> That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign. Your post belongs in the all-star Doper hall of fame. May I share it? ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6382 "2012-08-14T15:04:34Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > \<\<\\>\> > That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign. Your post belongs in the all-star Doper hall of fame. May I share it? _blush_ Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6383 "2012-08-14T15:37:44Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > \<\<\\>\> > That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign. Especially the wonderfully succinct paragraph… > [@](#): > > Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6384 "2012-08-14T23:22:56Z")
By way of your good friends at _Talking Points Memo_ (Joe Bob **'luc** says: Check it out!)… [http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for](http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for) > [@](#): > > On its website and in an email Monday, House Speaker John Boehner’s office said President Obama needs to take personal responsibility for the drought ravaging the Midwest. > > Obama, “continues to blame anyone and everyone for the drought but himself,” reads a release from Boehner’s office posted online and distributed to reporters Monday… That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6385 "2012-08-14T23:37:19Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > By way of your good friends at _Talking Points Memo_ (Joe Bob **'luc** says: Check it out!)… > > [http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for](http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for) > > That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought. The drought is a liberal plot. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6386 "2012-08-14T23:41:10Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > By way of your good friends at _Talking Points Memo_ (Joe Bob **'luc** says: Check it out!)… > > [http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for](http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for) > > That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought. There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6387 "2012-08-14T23:52:02Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that. Whatever you say, your majesty. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6388 "2012-08-15T00:09:39Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that. We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6389 "2012-08-15T00:23:40Z")
Never make a volcano vomit. Bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6390 "2012-08-15T00:43:11Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead? I hope that volcano likes pickled stuff… ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6391 "2012-08-15T01:38:42Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Wait, I thought praying for rain was Rick Perry’s job? Still a winner. Maybe of the century. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6392 "2012-08-15T01:47:08Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > No, no no. That’s the [Jesus and Mary Chain](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5x1F9ohRa4). > > Silly Republicans. [Garbage!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esEdC0c3YI4) > [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are. This post is freakin’ brilliant, and should be human mic’d at Romney rallies from here until he drops dead, or the election, whichever comes last. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6393 "2012-08-15T03:27:57Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > We don’t have a king… PEASANT WOMAN: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. KNORF: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. … A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes… MITTENS: Then who is your king? PEASANT WOMAN: We don’t have a king. MITTENS: _What???_ KNORF: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune: we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs… MITTENS: _Be quiet!_ KNORF: …but by a two-thirds majority in the case of… MITTENS: _Be quiet!_ I _order_ you to be _quiet_! PEASANT WOMAN: Order, eh – who does he think he is? MITTENS: I am your king! PEASANT WOMAN: Ehhh, well, I didn’t vote for you! ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6394 "2012-08-15T05:39:39Z")
I thought you were supposed to sacrifice _virgins_ to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6395 "2012-08-15T05:44:26Z")
Which? ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6396 "2012-08-15T11:03:14Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > I thought you were supposed to sacrifice _virgins_ to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC. Bachmann. Because I don’t even care if she supposedly had kids, there is _no way_ her husband ever put it in her, between her being the ugliest sea-hag ever and him being a flaming faggot. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6397 "2012-08-15T12:56:29Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are. > > You know what you aren’t? You aren’t Albert Einstein expanding our understanding of the universe. You aren’t Dr. Paul Offit curing rotavirus in third world countries. You aren’t Isaac Newton or that Nobel prize winner in Burma bravely confronting the world’s worst government. You’re not a parent coping with a child with cystic fibrosis or the guy who wrote this year’s Pulitzer prize winning expose. You’re not the firefighter pulling the guy out of the burning building or the first grade teacher in the disadvantaged schools trying to teach little kids to read. > > You’re just a greedy little shit. So drop the fucking pretense. I am sick and tired of hearing people like yourself demanding to be worshipped by ordinary people and accorded a special place in the tax code. There are millions of others who serve this country and this world far more than you ever will. Stop throwing a temper tantrum, grow the fucking hell up and pay your fair share of taxes like the rest of us. _Whirrr. Bzzzt._ [Spinning gears] Oh, wise and beneficent man of the people Mitt. You are truly a wise and proficient job creator. A fine example of the American dream. You aren’t some sort of untrustworthy foreign liberal scientist. You are from a fine stock of Anglo-Saxons. You are not one of the unpatriotic hacks from the liberal media, seeking to shake our faith in fine American institutions. You are not one of those inefficient unionised public sector workers. You are a job creator. Embrace it. I am upset that others seek to excel, rather than embrace the class they were born into. Truly, if we accept our status in society and propitiate before the job creators, life will be better for the several million Americans that are being discriminated against by entitlements. Please continue your magnanimous service to society and blessings be upon the free market. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6398 "2012-08-15T14:16:59Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead? Let’s throw in a certain former Speaker who thinks he’s a king. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6399 "2012-08-15T14:18:36Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > I thought you were supposed to sacrifice _virgins_ to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC. Georgetown University and Catholic University might have a few vir…oh, wait, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/6400 "2012-08-15T15:17:18Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Georgetown University and Catholic University might have a few vir…oh, wait, never mind. Yeah, it depends on whether _gay_ child diddling [makes you lose your virginity.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=661813) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=319) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=321)