# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 554
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11061 "2013-10-09T23:38:18Z")
> [@detop](#): > > First, we pretend to let you conquer us. > > While you occupy us (and **you** will occupy us, you’ve never been able to resist oil), we will slowly continue to infiltrate you (while activating our sleepers agents already in place). You seem to have forgotten the Grand Fenwick strategy. The key point is to soak us for all the foreign aid money you can get. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11062 "2013-10-10T02:13:44Z")
> [@aurora\_maire](#): > > Ha! You forgot Jesus. That’s ten. 😃 > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > You also forgot Texas. and The NRA. That brings us up to an even dozen branches ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11063 "2013-10-10T02:17:41Z")
And we have not even touched on the roots of government. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11064 "2013-10-10T02:48:10Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > Sounds like the good Congresscritter has been OD’ing on _1984_: 2 + 2 = 5 for moderately large values of 2. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11065 "2013-10-10T02:51:47Z")
> [@detop](#): > > While you occupy us (and **you** will occupy us, you’ve never been able to resist oil) . . . Meh. Only oil we can pump. Fracking’s too much trouble. > [@detop](#): > > We will increase our behaviour and societal modifications programs (with funds **already** earmarked). Little things at first, like pronouncing “zee” properly (it’s pronounced “zed”), adding "u"s where there should be some and so on. > > Until 10 to 20 years down the road, you will find that you have become bilingual (French and English) Socialist Canuckistanis. Like the future Prime Minister Robin Scherbatsky will say : “Welcome to the tribe, Hosers !” 😛 Only, by that time, everybody north of the former U.S.-Canadian border, including the Quebecois, will be speaking Spanish anyway. Because you just let us dismantle your line of immigration-defense, Joser! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11066 "2013-10-10T08:08:52Z")
> [@detop](#): > > We took Detroit once and we’ve burned it. Hah ! Joke’s on you. If you came back and did that again today, it would be an improvement. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11067 "2013-10-10T12:40:21Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Meh. Only oil we can pump. Fracking’s too much trouble. > > Only, by that time, everybody north of the former U.S.-Canadian border, including the Quebecois, will be speaking Spanish anyway. Because you just let us dismantle your line of immigration-defense, Joser! Primo, we have **three** kinds of oil : the [pumped one](http://www.areca.ab.ca/userfiles/images/oil-well-web.gif), the [fracked one](http://www.digitaljournal.com/img/2/3/4/1/5/i/1/0/3/o/north_american_shale_gas_formations.jpg) and we also have the [tar sands](http://www.googleearthing.com/images/Image4-online.jpg) Deuxio, we already have Mexican immigrants and migrant workers, and we welcome them. We also have a large Latino community (thanks to US policies in Latin America) and they are a vibrant part of our country. We are not scared of them, nor are we marginalizing them. In fact, we might amend our conquest plans to include them in our take over of the US. Thanks for the idea ! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11068 "2013-10-10T18:15:53Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Primo, we have **three** kinds of oil : the [pumped one](http://www.areca.ab.ca/userfiles/images/oil-well-web.gif), the [fracked one](http://www.digitaljournal.com/img/2/3/4/1/5/i/1/0/3/o/north_american_shale_gas_formations.jpg) and we also have the [tar sands](http://www.googleearthing.com/images/Image4-online.jpg) You forgot [rapeseed oil](http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk239/Spiff666/rapenhoney.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11069 "2013-10-10T18:23:50Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > You forgot [rapeseed oil](http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk239/Spiff666/rapenhoney.jpg). You shouldn’t mention rape in a Republican idea thread. Their [ideas](http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/8907/large/gop_rape_advisory.gif?1351126298)on the subject are pretty unconventional… ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11070 "2013-10-10T18:41:49Z")
Last night, [the AP released a story](http://theplazz.com/2013/10/1295231/) alleging that Terry McAuliffe had lied to a federal investigator. The story was quickly retracted when it occurred to somebody at the AP office that: [ol] [li]McAuliffe might not be the only person in existence with the initials “T.M.”, and[/li] [li]“T.M.”'s explanation for the money (“a payment for construction work that T.M. had performed in Caramadre’s house”) is unlikely to have been offered by McAuliffe, unless he has a sideline of personally installing toilets and hanging drywall in between political campaigns.[/li][/ol] In short, the bogosity of this story was obvious upon the most cursory investigation. Need I add that this “bombshell” was [instantly picked up by Wile E. Kookinelli](http://www.cuccinelli.com/cuccinelli-campaign-statement-on-caramadre-story)? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11071 "2013-10-10T19:03:06Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > You forgot [rapeseed oil](http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk239/Spiff666/rapenhoney.jpg). > [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](#): > > You shouldn’t mention rape in a Republican idea thread. Their [ideas](http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/8907/large/gop_rape_advisory.gif?1351126298)on the subject are pretty unconventional… Not until February, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11072 "2013-10-10T19:40:47Z")
Representative Gary Miller (R-CA) [caught on camera](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKlhvrRVp9g) (until he puts his hand over it) blowing off a question about the shutdown. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11073 "2013-10-10T19:43:12Z")
I’ll take that as a no. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11074 "2013-10-10T20:22:33Z")
> [@detop](#): > > We took Detroit once and we’ve burned it. Don’t blame us if you can’t build things to last. > > Typical American. So cute and so shortsighted. > > Let me tell you about our war plans. > > First, we pretend to let you conquer us. > > While you occupy us (and **you** will occupy us, you’ve never been able to resist oil), we will slowly continue to infiltrate you (while activating our sleepers agents already in place). > > We will increase our behaviour and societal modifications programs (with funds **already** earmarked). Little things at first, like pronouncing “zee” properly (it’s pronounced “zed”), adding "u"s where there should be some and so on. > > Until 10 to 20 years down the road, you will find that you have become bilingual (French and English) Socialist Canuckistanis. Like the future Prime Minister Robin Scherbatsky will say : “Welcome to the tribe, Hosers !” 😛 HA! Your plan is doomed to fail! We will bring… wait for it… A FLAG! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11075 "2013-10-10T20:37:56Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > HA! Your plan is doomed to fail! We will bring… > > wait for it… > > A FLAG! I was told we needed flag PINS. _grumble_ ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11076 "2013-10-10T20:39:26Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > You forgot [rapeseed oil](http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk239/Spiff666/rapenhoney.jpg). How could I forget the favorite Republican oil :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11077 "2013-10-10T22:08:51Z")
Since we don’t have Republicans with sick ideas about rape in CANada, we call stuff CANola oil. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11078 "2013-10-11T03:08:54Z")
> **[The Colbert Report | Comedy Central](https://www.cc.com/shows/the-colbert-report)** > > Stephen Colbert takes on cable news pundits (and everyone else) in this political satire. and > **[Congressional candidate Tom Emmer appears in ad touting remodeling firm](https://minnlawyer.com/2013/09/30/congressional-candidate-tom-emmer-appears-in-ad-touting-remodeling-firm/)** > > \*\*UPDATED\*\* Former state Rep. Tom Emmer, who is seeking the GOP nomination in the 6th Congressional District, has filmed an advertisement for Integrity Exteriors and Remodelers. In the ad, Emmer touts his congressional candidacy and endorses the... The 6th of Minnesota has a candidate crazy enough to replace Michele Bachmann. Aside from the very odd ad, he is, politically, nearly a Bachmann clone with many of the same strange ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11079 "2013-10-11T03:38:16Z")
No. No no no no no no no no. No. He’s just dumb enough to win. _rocks in corner and cries_ ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/11080 "2013-10-11T12:32:58Z")
> [@detop](#): > > We took Detroit once and we’ve burned it. Don’t blame us if you can’t build things to last. I thought that was the plan. We allow you to distract us with Ted Cruz while you raze Detroit. We get the insurance money and split it. You just need to give us time to get some of the nicer corporations out of there first. We call it the Darrell Issa strategy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=553) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=555)