# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 725
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14481 "2014-05-06T04:34:33Z")
> [@BigAppleBucky](#): > > Yep, just a tad. > > But his thinking isn’t fiscally responsible. You’d have to pay for lion keepers and also feed them when they’re not participating in executions. No zoo would lend the state their beasts for the purpose since they don’t want their keepers attacked. > > The guillotine has possibilities, but I wonder if he’d handle the basket with the severed head or mop up the blood spatter when things are over. Without knowing anything about Christian, I would guess he’s a chicken hawk who supports US wars, but doesn’t want to participate actively. > His bio is sketchy: [http://vote-ok.org/Intro.aspx?State=OK&Id=OKChristianMike](http://vote-ok.org/Intro.aspx?State=OK&Id=OKChristianMike) > > As a chicken hawk (and I admit I could be corrected on that) I suspect he would not volunteer to clean up the gore after any kind of messy execution. And if he won’t, why should someone else be made to do so? > > What these folks don’t seem to realize is that as much as a criminal might deserve execution, the many of the rest of us suffer when there is one. Especially if it’s botched. When I am an Evil Overlord, my execution chamber will include a variety of elaborate Rube Goldberg devices, use of which will entail a lengthy delay between the time the switch is thrown and the eventual horrible death; this will build up suspense and terror, while at the same time providing a sufficiently clever and enterprising victim with the chance to devise an escape. Needless to say, none of these devices will ever be employed to execute any prisoner I sincerely want dead; those get a pistol bullet to the brain. The Rube Goldberg devices will be employed on condemned-but-unimportant criminals in my realm-wide reality TV show, “Who Wants to Live?” It’s always a good idea to give your subjects Bread and Circuses. (Surviving guests will be offered recruitment into the Assassination Regiment of my Legions of Terror, or a pistol bullet to the brain.) ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14482 "2014-05-06T05:26:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Guillotines? George Carlin had a good idea on making those executions profitable. You put the prisoner at the top of a hill and then cut off his head. The head rolls down the hill. At the bottom of the hill are holes dug into the ground, and you let people bet on which hole the head falls into. Certain you could make enough to pay a good wage to a blood mopper. The blood mopper is not needed. After a few dozen executions, the hill builds up a nice blood patina that gives it a character that the gamblers will certainly appreciate. A clean sterile hill will never be a good draw for the crowds. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14483 "2014-05-06T05:39:44Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > The blood mopper is not needed. After a few dozen executions, the hill builds up a nice blood patina that gives it a character that the gamblers will certainly appreciate. A clean sterile hill will never be a good draw for the crowds. OTOH, if you never clean the blood, there may end up being dried blood troughs which will steer the rolling heads down to a particular hole. That will screw up the gambling element. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14484 "2014-05-06T05:50:48Z")
Maybe there’s a middle route. I’m picturing an over-sized pachinko machine for heads. You don’t necessarily have to play head-pachingko at the time of the executions, and in fact you can re-use the heads in future games. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14485 "2014-05-06T07:25:07Z")
If I get to Hell before you guys, I’ll ask about saving you a place. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14486 "2014-05-06T16:41:47Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > The blood mopper is not needed. After a few dozen executions, the hill builds up a nice blood patina that gives it a character that the gamblers will certainly appreciate. A clean sterile hill will never be a good draw for the crowds. Get enough and it can be a slip-and-slide for the kiddies! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14487 "2014-05-06T16:43:26Z")
[Fox’s Dana Perino:](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/06/1297241/-Fox-News-chief-scientist-Dana-Perino-to-TV-meteorologists-Focus-on-Benghazi-not-climate-change?detail=hide) > [@](#): > > Tomorrow, President Obama is going to do interviews with meteorologists all across the country about a new climate change report. I hope they ask him about Benghazi. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14488 "2014-05-06T17:01:22Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > [Fox’s Dana Perino:](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/06/1297241/-Fox-News-chief-scientist-Dana-Perino-to-TV-meteorologists-Focus-on-Benghazi-not-climate-change?detail=hide) An article referenced in that link: [39 percent of people who think Benghazi is the biggest scandal ever don’t even know where it is](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/05/13/1208779/-39-percent-of-people-who-think-Benghazi-is-the-biggest-scandal-ever-don-t-even-know-where-it-is) I guess I’m a little surprised they don’t think it’s about a guy named “Ben Ghazi”. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14489 "2014-05-06T17:09:20Z")
That poll is a year old, so there might be another 2% or so who’ve figured it out by now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14490 "2014-05-06T18:38:25Z")
It’s a shame Ben Gazzara didn’t live long enough to capitalize on his notoriety. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14491 "2014-05-06T19:14:48Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > [Darryl Issa subpoenas John Kerry over Benghazi.](http://www.salon.com/2014/05/02/darrell_issa_subpoenas_john_kerry_over_benghazi/) And, just in case there was any danger of the new round of hearings being taken seriously, [Trey Gowdy will chair them](http://www.salon.com/2014/05/06/gop%e2%80%99s_new_benghazi_dreamboat_meet_trey_gowdy_its_substance_free_committee_chair/). ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14492 "2014-05-06T19:19:29Z")
Ah! Finally a Benghazi scandal with legs! [Lindsey Graham Gave Advice and Counsel to Lara Logan on her Debunked 60 Minutes Benghazi Report.](http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/05/1297109/-Lindsey-Graham-Gave-Advice-and-Counsel-to-Lara-Logan-on-her-Debunked-60-Minutes-Benghazi-Report#) ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14493 "2014-05-06T20:50:06Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Get enough and it can be a slip-and-slide for the kiddies! That’s just wrong. Kids shouldn’t be involved in gambling. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14494 "2014-05-06T22:01:06Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > That’s just wrong. > > Kids shouldn’t be involved in gambling. Not directly, but it would be harmless to have a spelling bee or something and the winner gets to pull the guillotine-trigger. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14495 "2014-05-06T22:35:18Z")
FOX has said they will not cover any White House press conferences unless Benghazi is covered. Tucker Carlson: [Women who pay for dinner for men are disgusting](http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/06/fox-news-host-tucker-carlson-women-who-pay-for-mens-dinners-are-disgusting/). Also, Bear Grylls needs to stop talking about men being manly after he named his sons Marmaduke and Huckleberry. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14496 "2014-05-06T22:36:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I disagree. A zoo could save a lot of money by feeding prisoners to lions rather than buying Lion Chow. Texas alone might produce enough executions to keep them well fed. . . I disagree right back. Forget about the food element. It’s the wildness of the lions that would bother zookeepers. A lion that has killed a person will be more willing to do so again. Some part of the keepers’ safety, no doubt, involves the lions not thinking of their keepers as food on the hoof. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14497 "2014-05-06T22:42:26Z")
Lion Chow? They get big chunks of horse meat. (I used to work at a zoo.) ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14498 "2014-05-06T23:24:23Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > Lion Chow? They get big chunks of horse meat. I thought Lion Chow was a funny. I laughed… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14499 "2014-05-06T23:46:56Z")
Roman hipsters who were Christian before it went mainstream. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/14500 "2014-05-06T23:58:18Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > I thought Lion Chow was a funny. I laughed… Lion Chou would be a great name for an MMA fighter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=724) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=726)