# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 775
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15481 "2014-06-28T04:36:55Z")
I just want to commend all of your Dopers who had the maturity and good taste not to make a play off “autoeroticism”. A quality I greatly admire without the slightest intention to emulate. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15482 "2014-06-28T04:53:15Z")
I thought that was jacking it to _Knight Rider_ ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15483 "2014-06-28T04:53:40Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Do we really care why he broke into someone’s car and started jerking himself off? It might be of interest to future scholars. ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15484 "2014-06-28T06:37:49Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > [Michigan GOP candidate: Ignore my arrests for publicly masturbating in other people’s cars](http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/27/michigan-gop-candidate-ignore-my-arrests-for-publicly-masturbating-in-other-peoples-cars/) “I have dreams,” Haskins said to Michigan Live Yes, and perhaps ones you should not share outside of some kind of doctor/patient confidentiality thing. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15485 "2014-06-28T07:56:21Z")
> [@Precambrianmollusc](#): > > “I have dreams,” Haskins said to Michigan Live > > Yes, and perhaps ones you should not share outside of some kind of doctor/patient confidentiality thing. He’s [hung up on dream he’ll never see](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK_5cJpM06k) … ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15486 "2014-06-28T15:18:41Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I just want to commend all of your Dopers who had the maturity and good taste not to make a play off “autoeroticism”. A quality I greatly admire without the slightest intention to emulate. Hey, we’re talking about a serious crime here – carjacking(off). ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15487 "2014-06-28T15:53:05Z")
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “emissions testing”. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15488 "2014-06-29T02:56:45Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Is it possible he was trying to steal the car, saw the cops coming, and this was the best excuse he could come up with on short notice? According to the story, on at least one occasion he climbed a fence and hot-wired a _police cruise_ to satisfy his urges. I guess his excuse in that situation was that he just wanted to “feel a cop”. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15489 "2014-06-29T06:57:07Z")
I hear they got an app for that Siri thing, gives you directions and stuff, you can set it to talk dirty to you while you strangle the cobra. Trouble is, do it two or three times and Siri will insist you pull over on the freeway to talk about the relationship. That’s a true fact, you could look it up. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15490 "2014-06-30T16:07:20Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > [Michigan GOP candidate: Ignore my arrests for publicly masturbating in other people’s cars](http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/27/michigan-gop-candidate-ignore-my-arrests-for-publicly-masturbating-in-other-peoples-cars/) From the article: > [@](#): > > Saginaw’s Jordan D. Haskins dismisses the arrests and prison time as the results of youthful indiscretion and said that he is ready to “move on from that and do what I can” to serve his state as a Republican state Representative. > … > > “I was just a lonely, angry kid at the time,” he said. > > … > > He hopes now that voters will see him as the man he is, rather than the troubled teen he was. Come on guys it was all in the past, surely we all did some things when we were young and stupid that we regret not that were much older, what’s the point dragging up old dirt that is ancient history. > [@](#): > > On four occasions between April of 2010 and **January of 2011** , Haskins broke into vehicles on public and private property, disconnected the ignition wires, then started the engine Oh, never mind. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15491 "2014-06-30T16:12:04Z")
OK, guys, you are being too harsh on Mr. Haskins. He’s just being true to his Republican urges. You know they all want to break into the engine of government, disconnect the wires, and then sit there masturbating while the world rushes past them. I applaud Mr. Haskins! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15492 "2014-06-30T16:53:49Z")
It would help if his lonely angry kid stuff were _normal_ angry lonely kid stuff (and also not like ten minutes ago). Smoking pot, shoplifting, underage drinking, etc. But goddamn. A person with a fetish for glazing car upholstery should be in therapy, not in a major election. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15493 "2014-06-30T17:16:24Z")
He misheard, thought they said erection. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15494 "2014-06-30T17:55:33Z")
It’s not just the jerking off, it’s the witchcraft. How does one start a car after disconnecting the ignition? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15495 "2014-06-30T18:01:55Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > It’s not just the jerking off, it’s the witchcraft. How does one start a car after disconnecting the ignition? By hot-wiring, which apparently is part of the thrill. A fetishistic fixation on auto-theft, sublimated by hot-wiring the car but not otherwise actually stealing it. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15496 "2014-06-30T19:37:04Z")
> [@](#): > > On four occasions between April of 2010 and January of 2011, Haskins broke into vehicles on public and private property, disconnected the ignition wires, then started the engine Hey, it was a different world, a different time. Osama bin Laden was still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15497 "2014-06-30T23:49:30Z")
He wouldn’t even have given it a shot if he hadn’t heard about on the internet: > [@](#): > > **It is a fetish Haskins said he learned about online**. For some “cranking” or “pedal-pumping” fetishists, participants derive sexual satisfaction from watching a man or woman who they desire struggle to start a stalled car, cranking the engine and pumping the gas pedal against the floor. In other cases, as with Haskins, the fetish revolves around starting the car oneself and masturbating. Let’s all just be thankful he never ran across 2 Girls 1 Cup. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15498 "2014-07-01T04:52:49Z")
GOP Lawmaker Says Climate Change Is ‘The Greatest Deception In The History Of Mankind’ > **[GOP Lawmaker Says Climate Change Is 'The Greatest Deception In The History Of...](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lenar-whitney-global-warming_n_5543598?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592)** > > GOP Lawmaker Says Climate Change Is 'The Greatest Deception In The History Of Mankind' ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15499 "2014-07-01T05:15:12Z")
15493 shitty ideas from Republicans since 2009? Is that all? Never have so stupid been so wrong about so much in such a short space of time. Must be a real ego boost for Republicans to know so much thinking goes on among their kind. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15500 "2014-07-01T05:26:55Z")
Tea Party leader: “[Reince Priebus should ignore Mississippi law and declare the Tea Party candidate the winner of the Republican primary](http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/06/27/Jenny-Beth-Martin-RNC-Chairman-Reince-Priebus-Should-Intervene-In-Mississippi).” What ever happened to that States’ Rights thingie? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=774) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=776)