# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 777
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15521 "2014-07-02T07:19:01Z")
Apologies if this has been posted elsewhere, but do you get the feeling like the argument against gay marriage (Mostly from religious conservatives / Republicans, which is why I’m posting it here) has started to genuinely irritate people who understand the law, because of how effing stupid it is? [http://theweek.com/article/index/264096/speedreads-federal-judge-arguments-against-gay-marriage-are-not-those-of-serious-people](http://theweek.com/article/index/264096/speedreads-federal-judge-arguments-against-gay-marriage-are-not-those-of-serious-people) > [@](#): > > These arguments are not those of serious people. **Though it seems almost unnecessary to explain** , here are the reasons why. **Even assuming the state has a legitimate interest in promoting procreation,** the Court fails to see, and Defendant never explains, how the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage has any effect whatsoever on procreation among heterosexual spouses. Excluding same-sex couples from marriage does not change the number of heterosexual couples who choose to get married, the number who choose to have children, or the number of children they have. […] The state’s attempts to connect the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage to its interest in economic stability and in\*\* “ensuring humanity’s continued existence” are at best illogical and even bewildering.\*\* I love how the judge seems baffled that he even has to explain this crap; wonders why the state needs to encourage people to breed, as if they wouldn’t do that on their own and needed to be told by daddy government to make more babies; throws scare quotes around the laughable idea that we need to encourage breeding to “ensure humanity’s continued existence” because we’re definitely on the brink of nonexistence over here; and if course, summarizing it charitably as illogical and bewildering. Failing to make your case to a judge isn’t shameful, we do that all the time. But failing so hard that the judge can scarcely find the words to describe how pathetic you are… that’s your legal debate these days. On the one side, people are asking for a natural right to form a family with whom they wish, and on the other, you have people blowing raspberries and publicly defecating. This particular battle is over, and the stupidest Republican idea of the year, is continuing to fight this battle. You keep losing, and you look absolutely fucking ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15522 "2014-07-02T07:24:30Z")
I’m just… I mean… Do you folks that are against gay marriage believe that if it’s allowed, straight people are all going to catch the gay and stop breeding? This will be the South Park episode Goobacks, with the giant pile of rednecks having a gay orgy to stop the future? You do know that is a work of fiction, yes? Not real life? Do you really believe all heterosexual men are that close to blowing each other, that all it takes is a swing of a judge’s gavel somewhere, and all their pants will drop, and their dicks will flop out, and soon be lovingly suckled until completion? Humanity is dangerously close to that society-crushing tipping point, that if only given the legal protection to do so, all the men will stop inseminating women, and that will be the endtimes plague that rids the world of us? Is that what really occurs in your brain? Because if so, you might be in denial about what you really want to do with your life. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15523 "2014-07-02T07:32:03Z")
…Nice going, PizzaGuy, now I have a boner. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15524 "2014-07-02T07:39:09Z")
In another context, this could almost be an attempt at flattery. Gay men’s cocks are apparently so appealing, that they are literally a danger to humanity. I admit it, gay guys! We straight men just can’t stop thinking about your cocks. And we’re literally afraid that, were it not for a judge somewhere telling us no, we would be forced to get down on our knees and suck them, and we would have no choice, because we would be compelled by our hedonistic desires to do so, and those are feelings that are impossible to deny! Yum yum, give me that forbidden love, I must have it… oh wait, gay marriage still illegal, guess humanity is safe? Because the law definitely stops married straight people from engaging in the acts of sodomy such as oral sex or anal sex. The law is \*definitely \*keeping all sperm from going anywhere but a woman’s uterus right now, even among conservative straight people. And of course, they have a baby each time, which explains our amazingly high birth rate in the US. /sarcasm **Gay cock- Now dangerously tempting to heterosexual men!** Oo la la ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15525 "2014-07-02T07:47:33Z")
My mom went to Tex U in 1945. Those days, freshmen women were required to live in a dorm, which had open communal showers, like in gym class. After her first year was over, my mom wrote my grandmother that if she never saw a naked woman again as long as she lived, it would be too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15526 "2014-07-02T07:53:14Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > My mom went to Tex U in 1945. Those days, freshmen women were required to live in a dorm, which had open communal showers, like in gym class. After her first year was over, my mom wrote my grandmother that if she never saw a naked woman again as long as she lived, it would be too soon. Well she \*must \*have been deep in denial then. _Clearly_, the only thing stopping her from tribbing out was the fact that a judge didn’t tell her it was okay. You remove that one stone and the whole dam of repressed gay feelings will inevitably burst, and men and women will never have sex again. Game over, man! Game over! ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15527 "2014-07-02T07:55:56Z")
PizzaGuy, the only aspect of society that forces people to be against SSM, or even homosexuality in general is entirely religion. That’s very clear. When they bring up no procreation = no new kids, and someone mentions adoption-- AUUGH!, is all they say. I’m hetero, and even though I don’t see the attraction to other men, I can think of plenty of hetero friends who got married and I can only think, “What is WRONG with you two???” So SSM shouldn’t be so damn hard to get used to for any of these religious nitwits. And speaking of [religious nitwits:](http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/gop-faith-outreach-director-offended-christians-who-vote-democratic) **“GOP Faith Outreach Director Offended By Christians Who Vote Democratic”** Chad Connelly is at it again, wanting to build “an army of activists to encourage pro-faith Americans to vote their values.” Values = bigotry, a fictional country that Jesus founded, yadda, yadda. Here come the religious/GOP words that are most popular within their “values”: Army, target, war, crosshairs, communist, etc. Every pulpit seems to have a GOP politician giving a sermon, which never equals the “good” (if there is any) about their cult. > [@](#): > > Connelly seems to be a good fit, as he peddles messages that are red meat for the Religious Right: Christian Nationalism and fears of a Communist takeover. In his book “Freedom Tide,” Connelly even reprinted the hoax document “Communist Rules for Revolution.” Shit like this proves GOP officially means God’s Own Party. I can’t consider a GOP candidate who doesn’t put their bigoted faith first as even a possibility. Why else preach it? “Testify, Brother Bigot!” A church is nothing more than a money-grabbing organization telling you the “news” and “values” you want to hear. How is this different from the Republican party? Like Paul Ryan preached at the GOP convention, “We have a fiscal budget”, and told us no details about it or proved it to be true. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15528 "2014-07-02T08:03:16Z")
Well, I don’t know if that’s entirely true, Locrian. Sure, there are religions that condemn it, but then they also condemn a lot of things that people do every single day, guilt-free. Because people pick and choose what they believe. What they agree on is that gay people make them feel icky. That’s what this is about. It’s pure bigotry. But you dress it up in white robes and call it godly, and now you get to be a prick, while claiming to be morally righteous. That’s why it’s not purely found among the religious, and many religious people are against this sort of bigotry, because they recognize it for what it is, which is pure unadulterated nonsense. And that’s also why you get instances of non-religious persons who think there’s something wrong with gay people. Because sometimes people are just bigots and want everyone to be forced to agree with their opinion that gay is squick. It’s not enough they have to personally not like it, everyone has to not like it, otherwise their little worlds would just come crashing down on their little fragile hearts. Poor little fellers. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15529 "2014-07-02T08:23:09Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > Well, I don’t know if that’s entirely true, Locrian. > > It’s not enough they have to personally not like it, everyone has to not like it, otherwise their little worlds would just come crashing down on their little fragile hearts. > > Poor little fellers. Exactly. It’s not like the religious / republicans have to personally believe it, they just have to SAY they believe it. “Be very afraid of large groups of stupid people.” 🙂 Incidentally, I heard another comedian say he was pro-tea party, saying it would be great. He’d take the day off and rob all his friend’s houses while they’re all at work. “Yeah? We’ll call the cops on you, you ass-- oh, wait.” 😃 I’ll have to find out who that was. Of course, the robber might have to deal with a paid militia, so maybe not so good. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15530 "2014-07-02T19:39:51Z")
Want to know if there are dangerous chemicals in that plant/business/warehouse next door? No need to get the government involved in Texas - [just ask the owner](http://www.texastribune.org/2014/07/01/abbott-ask-chemical-plants-whats-inside/)! AG (and governor-wannabe) Abbott says to send a request to the owner, and they’ll get back to you within 10 days on what they’ve got on site. I’m hoping someone organizes a campaign to send individual requests from each citizen in TX to every business, asking for a list of their hazardous chemicals. And, since that information can change, I think it would be reasonable to ask at least once a month. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15531 "2014-07-02T19:48:10Z")
whoops, ninja’d ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15532 "2014-07-02T20:01:49Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Want to know if there are dangerous chemicals in that plant/business/warehouse next door? No need to get the government involved in Texas - [just ask the owner](http://www.texastribune.org/2014/07/01/abbott-ask-chemical-plants-whats-inside/)! > > AG (and governor-wannabe) Abbott says to send a request to the owner, and they’ll get back to you within 10 days on what they’ve got on site. Wait, what? The rationale for the state not releasing the information to the public was “Abbott contends the state is required to withhold the data under state homeland security exemptions, because evildoers could use it to gain access to the chemicals and terrorize communities.” But at the same time, from that article: "but you can send an email or letter or notice to anyone who owns any kind of private property or facility, saying that under the community right to know law, you need to tell me within 10 days what chemicals you have,” Abbott said. “It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, you are obligated under that law to respond.” So, they’re protecting the information from terrorists, but anyone can get the information if they ask for it. This does sound deeply, deeply stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15533 "2014-07-02T20:31:01Z")
Plausible Deniability. They can say that the terrorists didn’t get the info from the government. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15534 "2014-07-03T12:42:05Z")
[The greatest GOP meme surfaces again:](http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_26078290/video-shows-beauprez-saying-47-percent-dependant-government) > [@](#): > > On Wednesday, as Republican gubernatorial nominee Bob Beauprez toured Colorado to “build unity,” a video surfaced that Democrats say shows his divisiveness. > > The video shows Beauprez in a speech to the Denver Rotary Club in 2010 making comments that echo those that hurt Mitt Romney’s challenge to President Barack Obama two years later. > > “I see something that frankly doesn’t surprise me, having been on Ways and Means Committee: 47 percent of all Americans pay no federal income tax,” Beauprez said in the video… ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15535 "2014-07-03T13:55:13Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > [The greatest GOP meme surfaces again:](http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_26078290/video-shows-beauprez-saying-47-percent-dependant-government) Just goes to show: There’s no stupid like the old stupid. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15536 "2014-07-03T13:58:22Z")
[Rush Limbaugh](http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2014/07/02/why_cheer_a_5_4_decision_for_hobby_lobby_freedom_and_liberty_are_hanging_by_a_thread)weighs in the Hobby Lobby decision. > [@](#): > > But in the normal, everyday flow of events, pregnancy requires action that has consequences. Yet we treat it as a great imposition that women need to be protected from. It’s a sickness, it’s a disease, it’s whatever, and there’s gotta be a pill for it. Yet they wouldn’t have the problem if they didn’t do a certain thing. It’s that simple. There you are ladies. It’s just that simple. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15537 "2014-07-03T15:46:23Z")
> [@DrumBum](#): > > [Rush Limbaugh](http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2014/07/02/why_cheer_a_5_4_decision_for_hobby_lobby_freedom_and_liberty_are_hanging_by_a_thread)weighs in the Hobby Lobby decision. > > > [@](#): > > > > But in the normal, everyday flow of events, pregnancy requires action that has consequences. Yet we treat it as a great imposition that women need to be protected from. It’s a sickness, it’s a disease, it’s whatever, and there’s gotta be a pill for it. Yet they wouldn’t have the problem if they didn’t do a certain thing. It’s that simple. > > There you are ladies. It’s just that simple. :dubious: Gonna be a lot of hairy palms out there if women take his “advice”. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15538 "2014-07-03T16:00:41Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Gonna be a lot of hairy palms out there if women take his “advice”. No, you can just give us all blowjobs. We cool, right? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15539 "2014-07-03T16:00:48Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if a backroom meeting of the O’Reilly production staff decided to copy Stewart’s shtick and this is the result. What is it with the RW and comedy? Why are they so humor-impaired? E.g., AFAIK there is not a single editorial cartoonist in America who is both conservative and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/15540 "2014-07-03T16:44:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > What is it with the RW and comedy? Why are they so humor-impaired? E.g., AFAIK there is not a single editorial cartoonist in America who is both conservative and funny. Good comedy comes, in part, from hating your audience and hating yourself even more ([cite](http://dethklok.wikia.com/wiki/Dethkomedy)), not from expressing group hatred towards outsiders. That’s just being a bunch of assholes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=776) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=778)