# Stupid Republican idea of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897 "2009-03-26T18:48:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 874
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17461 "2014-10-16T19:17:14Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > A good pundit also needs to carry at least a veneer of credibility. A schizophrenic vagabond ranting about CIA orbital mind control lasers is attention-grabbing and memorable, but not much of a pundit. Okay, so I have the Convenience Stores controlling the Newspaper Pundits who control the CIA who control the Orbital Mind Control Lasers… and as the Gnomes of Zurich I get an extra $100 per turn… so I’m gonna move the whole branch here where the Secret Masters of Fandom control the Boy Sprouts who control California over to this other side and leave the Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow to control their own branch… ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17462 "2014-10-16T19:22:34Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I can’t decide whether WWF works better as World Wildlife Foundation or World Wrestling Federation in this context. Well, Linda McMahon’s not running for Senate _this_ year, right? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17463 "2014-10-16T19:26:03Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Okay, so I have the Convenience Stores controlling the Newspaper Pundits who control the CIA who control the Orbital Mind Control Lasers… and as the Gnomes of Zurich I get an extra $100 per turn… so I’m gonna move the whole branch here where the Secret Masters of Fandom control the Boy Sprouts who control California over to this other side and leave the Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow to control their own branch… I love that game and have intermittently looked for a computer/online version. ---
**Author:** ![DirtyHippy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtyhippy/32/107_2.png) [@DirtyHippy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirtyHippy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17464 "2014-10-17T00:37:59Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Well, Linda McMahon’s not running for Senate _this_ year, right? Only because there is no Senate race in Connecticut this year. Thank Og. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17465 "2014-10-17T03:27:33Z")
In Illinois [Jim Oberweis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Oberweis) is running, suicidally, against US Senate majority whip, Dick Durbin. In his ads Oberweis claims to not be a career politician, which is true thanks to the efforts of the voters of Illinois. Instead he is a career candidate, losing two Senate primaries, a primary for governor, and a general election to replace Denny Hastert, finally settling for State Senator, which is such a pathetic position for a politician in Illinois that the former Senator who works down the hall came back to run for County Board Chairman. FTR, everybody I know who knows Jim Oberweis, including my own daughter, think he’s the salt of the earth. However, those who are not idiots themselves admit that he’s an idiot. In one of his campaign ads, I think it was 2006, against the wishes of his family and his keepers who knew the real numbers, he claimed IIRC that 25 million illegal aliens enter this country each year. He should know, since some of them worked in his ice cream stores. When the winner of his second run at the US Senate, Jim Ryan, was driven from the race by crazed Trekkies, the party bypassed the second place finisher, Oberweis, to throw Alan Keyes against some up-and-comer named Obama, though Jim offered to pay all the campaign costs. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17466 "2014-10-17T04:00:18Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > When the winner of his second run at the US Senate, Jim Ryan, was driven from the race by crazed Trekkies, the party bypassed the second place finisher, Oberweis, to throw Alan Keyes against some up-and-comer named Obama, though Jim offered to pay all the campaign costs. Oh, man, being rejected as a candidate in favor of Alan Keyes must feel like being the guy who lost the mayoral election to Rob Ford. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17467 "2014-10-17T04:11:50Z")
The Republiopaths, in their most estimable cluelessness, picked Keyes because they needed a dark-hued candidate to go up against the dark-hued Democrat. As if that has ever worked for them before. I await their cries of “Racist!” when the Democrats call Ben Carson a putz in the near future. You cannot be a true Republiopath if you actually understand what racism is. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17468 "2014-10-17T13:31:21Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Oh, man, being rejected as a candidate in favor of Alan Keyes must feel like being the guy who lost the mayoral > election to Rob Ford. They tried to recruit Mike Ditka before that. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17469 "2014-10-17T15:12:36Z")
[Gohmert again, to Glenn Beck for a two-fer](http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/gohmert-cdc-war-on-women-nurses): > [@](#): > > “It’s a shame that the CDC head, Frieden, is apparently the new commander of the Democrats’ war on women nurses,” Gohmert told Beck. “Because, goodnight, they set them up, and then they throw them under the bus.” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17470 "2014-10-17T15:24:50Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > The Republiopaths, in their most estimable cluelessness, picked Keyes because they needed a dark-hued candidate to go up against the dark-hued Democrat. As if that has ever worked for them before. I await their cries of “Racist!” when the Democrats call Ben Carson a putz in the near future. You cannot be a true Republiopath if you actually understand what racism is. Racism factor aside at least that weird contest gave the world the concept of the “Crazification factor” > [@](#): > > Crazification factor (alternatively known as the “Keyes constant”[1]) is a neologism coined by blogger John Rogers to refer to the portion of the electorate comprising the nuttiest of the wingnuts and the batshit crazy. The passage relates to the 2004 Senate election in Illinois, and reads: > “”Obama vs. Alan Keyes. Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him.[2] They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That’s crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% crazification factor in any population."[3] ---
**Author:** ![adaher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@adaher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adaher)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17471 "2014-10-17T15:58:14Z")
Actually, I’ve heard it’s 20%. 20% being the percentage of people who believe Elvis is still alive. But 27% is close. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17472 "2014-10-17T17:20:03Z")
> [@adaher](#): > > Actually, I’ve heard it’s 20%. 20% being the percentage of people who believe Elvis is still alive. But 27% is close. It’s [less than 10%](http://www.gallup.com/poll/2638/august-23rd-anniversary-elvis-death-americans-still-conside.aspx), though it could be 20% if you include “[don’t know](http://www.foxnews.com/story/2002/08/14/poll-for-few-true-believers-elvis-lives/)” people. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17473 "2014-10-17T17:47:27Z")
[From self-accredited ebola expert Rand Paul:](http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/rand-pauls-recklessness-spins-out-control) > [@](#): > > If someone has Ebola at a cocktail party they’re contagious and you can catch it from them. [The administration] should be honest about that… You start to wonder about a basic level of competence. Well, that last sentence is true enough, though not the way he means it… ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17474 "2014-10-17T17:55:29Z")
Cocktail parties cause Ebola to spontaneously become contagious? Wow, he should go tell someone ad the CDC that, sounds important. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17475 "2014-10-17T17:56:59Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Cocktail parties cause Ebola to spontaneously become contagious? Wow, he should go tell someone ad the CDC that, sounds important. I guess that’s technically true; you’re at a cocktail party, and an Ebola victim pukes into your canapes without you noticing it, you’d catch it. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17476 "2014-10-17T17:58:25Z")
Shit, if Ebola were as deadly as these guys make it out to be, we wouldn’t have to worry about somebody from Liberia getting into America, there wouldn’t be anybody left in Liberia to get on a plane! Now, keep in mind that blood plasma from Ebola survivors can be an effective treatment, as it has the antibodies produced by the survivor, kind of a rough and ready, quick and dirty vaccine. And it is widely known that children, especially young children, have very strong immune systems, that’s when we grow the antibodies we use for the rest of our lives. OK, so now we have all these kids flooding over our borders, right? I have a modest proposal… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17477 "2014-10-17T18:00:02Z")
I wanna go to one of those cocktail parties, they sound, well, absolutely _randy_. (of course, he could simply be deconstructing “cocktail” inside his little head) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17478 "2014-10-17T18:03:21Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Cocktail parties cause Ebola to spontaneously become contagious? Clearly, the cocktail parties Rand Paul attends entail a lot of projectile diarrhea. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17479 "2014-10-17T18:05:44Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Clearly, the cocktail parties Rand Paul attends entail a lot of projectile diarrhea. Well, there is a lot of discussion of Ayn Rand, so… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897/17480 "2014-10-17T18:14:43Z")
Still, we may have to forgo the quaint custom of rolling a doobie and passing it around the circle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=873) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-republican-idea-of-the-day/490897.md?page=875)