# Stupid restaurant tricks
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [April 16, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259 "2014-04-16T14:43:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/1 "2014-04-16T14:43:43Z")
Order an egg _yolk_ breakfast sandwich at McDonalds.
Ask for double meat when getting the Meatball Marinara at Subway.
When the person behind the counter asks how you want your veggie burger, say “With bacon, please.”
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/2 "2014-04-16T14:47:59Z")
If you want a Coke at a bar, tell the bartender you are the designated driver, and it will nearly always be free of charge.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/3 "2014-04-16T14:50:39Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#):
>
> If you want a Coke at a bar, tell the bartender you are the designated driver, and it will nearly always be free of charge.
That’s a _smart_ restaurant trick.
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### Author:  [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/4 "2014-04-16T14:55:37Z")
Ask for a free rum and coke, then.
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### Author:  [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/5 "2014-04-16T15:51:42Z")
Change every possible little thing about the meal you are ordering, then tell the waitperson “But I don’t want to be difficult!” (I used to work with a woman who would actually do this when we’d all go out for lunch.)
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### Author:  [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/6 "2014-04-16T15:54:15Z")
> [@Shoeless](#):
>
> Change every possible little thing about the meal you are ordering, then tell the waitperson “But I don’t want to be difficult!” (I used to work with a woman who would actually do this when we’d all go out for lunch.)
I have TWO and they go to lunch TOGETHER! Needless to say, nobody will go with them anymore.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/7 "2014-04-16T16:00:26Z")
When delivering the single dessert, to whichever half of the couple ordered it, present one dessert fork!
Then ask, “May I get you anything more?”
Wherein they will most assuredly request another fork. With a flourish you magically produce one-- Ta Da!
That’s a stupid restaurant trick! (That gets a lot of play!)
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/8 "2014-04-16T16:04:09Z")
> [@elbows](#):
>
> When delivering the single dessert, to whichever half of the couple ordered it, present one dessert fork!
>
> Then ask, “May I get you anything more?”
>
> Wherein they will most assuredly request another fork.\*\* With a flourish you magically produce one-- Ta Da!\*\*
>
> That’s a stupid restaurant trick! (That gets a lot of play!)
From your ear. With screaming and fake blood.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/9 "2014-04-16T16:05:26Z")
That’s what the spoon is for.
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### Author:  [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/10 "2014-04-16T16:08:50Z")
Because it hurts more.
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### Author:  [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/11 "2014-04-16T16:12:51Z")
> [@Shoeless](#):
>
> Change every possible little thing about the meal you are ordering, then tell the waitperson “But I don’t want to be difficult!” (I used to work with a woman who would actually do this when we’d all go out for lunch.)
I used to be married to one of these - besides being a people-user, she had been a waitress and knew just how much she could get away with demanding.
The diner scene in \*When Harry Met Sally \*(the first one, when they’re on the road) always makes me laugh until my sides hurt, because I’m very much a “Number Three,” kind of patron and I sat through the real-life version of that scene too many times.
My best restaurant trick is to look at the menu and very confidently order something they don’t offer, and maintain the level of self-assuredness until the waitron catches on.
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/12 "2014-04-16T16:28:17Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#):
>
> My best restaurant trick is to look at the menu and very confidently order something they don’t offer, and maintain the level of self-assuredness until the waitron catches on.
“Waitron” is such an ugly portmanteau.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/13 "2014-04-16T17:01:48Z")
Look at the menu. Memorize what comes on a standard burger. For example: comes with lettuce, mayo, relish and cheese.
When the order taker comes confidently order “I’ll have a burger with lettuce, mayo, relish and cheese only.”
Watch as they try to figure out what you left off the standard burger.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/14 "2014-04-16T17:10:17Z")
Be careful, **Rick** , that can get you a burger with no meat patty, or no bun.
[Inevitable toast scene link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38maVb_30ng)
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/15 "2014-04-16T17:11:48Z")
True.
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### Author:  [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/16 "2014-04-16T17:22:57Z")
I used to eat lunch at a fast food restaurant where the first question the cashier always asked was “Will you be eating here?” One day I answered, “No, I’m going over to a table. The people behind me look impatient.” She stared at me for a moment, then turned to the other cashier and said, “Don’t talk to him.”
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### Author:  [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/17 "2014-04-16T17:35:41Z")
I was ordering food for a function at church. They were tired of the usual hot dish, so I went by myself to Taco Bell to get the meal.
I said to the person behind the counter, “I will have fifty soft tacos, fifty hard tacos, fifty bean burritos, ten Macho Grande combos, and twenty plates of nachos.”
The person behind the counter said, “Is that for here, or to go?”
Regards,
Shodan
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/18 "2014-04-16T18:47:10Z")
When eating someplace that is not McDonald’s, order as you normally would, except add “Mc-” as a prefix to every item you ask for.
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### Author:  [@Tierce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tierce)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/19 "2014-04-16T18:47:20Z")
Go to McDonald’s and order a cheeseburger with no cheese. “You mean a hamburger?” “No, a cheeseburger with no cheese. I like the yellow wrapper.”
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### Author:  [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/20 "2014-04-16T18:59:02Z")
I know this probably sounds dumb, but is the subject of this thread supposed to be amusing ideas for restaurant trolling? I don’t really “get” the first two examples in the OP, and the last one doesn’t even seem that weird to me, although I get the intent.
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#):
>
> When eating someplace that is not McDonald’s, order as you normally would, except add “Mc-” as a prefix to every item you ask for.
It has always been an ambition of mine to do this sort of the other way round. McDonald’s is very well-known so if you order “Chicken McNuggets” at KFC I assume they’ll just get you some chicken nuggets. What would be weirder (and more amusing, in my opinion) is going to McDonald’s and insisting you get a Whopper.
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