# Stupid restaurant tricks **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259 "2014-04-16T14:43:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/21 "2014-04-16T18:59:52Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Change every possible little thing about the meal you are ordering, then tell the waitperson “But I don’t want to be difficult!” Then when they bring it _exactly_ the way you ordered it, take one bite then send it back. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/22 "2014-04-16T19:03:25Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > “Waitron” is such an ugly portmanteau. I don’t think it is a portmanteau - what words is it collapsed from? - but I get your drift. Unfortunately, I don’t think much of “waitstaff,” “waitperson” or “server,” either, and we’re past such pointlessly gender-differentiated terms as “waiter/waitress.” How about foodbot? Checkster? We could call them by their “real” job name, but then we’re back to the gender issue with “actor/actress.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/23 "2014-04-16T19:13:16Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > I know this probably sounds dumb, but is the subject of this thread supposed to be amusing ideas for restaurant trolling? I don’t really “get” the first two examples in the OP, and the last one doesn’t even seem that weird to me, although I get the intent. 1. McDonalds advertises a breakfast sandwich with an “eggwhite only” option. 2. The Subway Meatball Marinara is stuffed with a row of whole meatballs the length of the sandwich. They also have a “double meat for $1.50” option listed on their menu board…which certainly would be a tough to accomplish with this particular sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/24 "2014-04-16T19:13:42Z")
Go to PetSmart dressed as Spiderman, and ask to see the spiders. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/25 "2014-04-16T19:18:07Z")
“How would you like your eggs?” “Medium rare.” ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/26 "2014-04-16T19:28:27Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > 1. McDonalds advertises a breakfast sandwich with an “eggwhite only” option. > 2. The Subway Meatball Marinara is stuffed with a row of whole meatballs the length of the sandwich. They also have a “double meat for $1.50” option listed on their menu board…which certainly would be a tough to accomplish with this particular sandwich. Thanks 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/27 "2014-04-16T19:30:40Z")
Order non-alcoholic drinks “on the rocks” if you want ice in it. I ordered orange juice on the rocks one time at some place like IHOP or Dennys and the waitress was totally perplexed. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/28 "2014-04-16T19:47:15Z")
Go to some place you’ve never been before and ask for “That special item the chef made me before. He’ll know what it is.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/29 "2014-04-16T20:05:44Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I don’t think it is a portmanteau - what words is it collapsed from? - but I get your drift. One possible etymology is waiter+patron = waitron. Another suggestion is that it’s the first half of “waiter/waitress” with the _-tron_ ending suggesting the robotic nature of the work. I only use the word playfully, as it does feel robotic to me. I just say “server” if I want to be gender-neutral. It doesn’t have an artificial quality to it like “waitron” does, and it’s a common word. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/30 "2014-04-16T20:12:28Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I don’t think it is a portmanteau - what words is it collapsed from? - but I get your drift. > > Unfortunately, I don’t think much of “waitstaff,” “waitperson” or “server,” either, and we’re past such pointlessly gender-differentiated terms as “waiter/waitress.” > > How about foodbot? Checkster? We could call them by their “real” job name, but then we’re back to the gender issue with “actor/actress.” Just use waiter as a non-gendered word. Regardless of gender they’re waiters. Regardless of gender they’re actors (I never refer to a woman actor as an actress unless her gender is vital to the usage). Somehow everybody seems to accept it for actor and we don’t end up with actrons. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/31 "2014-04-16T20:16:17Z")
When they ask how you want your steak cooked, tell them “extra medium please” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/32 "2014-04-16T20:26:23Z")
Brian Haley had a bit where you palm a ketchup packet then stab yourself in the eye in front of the server. Then while you’re being escorted out, ask for a job application. I once tried to order a Big Mac at a Taco Bell drive through but my buddy was working there so he and his coworkers thought it was very funny. The next day he told me that someone else drove up after I did and tried to order a Whopper because she thought it was the McDonalds next door. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/33 "2014-04-16T20:31:39Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > Just use waiter as a non-gendered word. Regardless of gender they’re waiters. Regardless of gender they’re actors (I never refer to a woman actor as an actress unless her gender is vital to the usage). Somehow everybody seems to accept it for actor and we don’t end up with actrons. I strive to use “actor” as the gender-neutral word everywhere possible (you can’t when discussing awards, for example). However, the discussion here seems to have turned very humorless alla sudden. “Waitron” is funny. No deeper significance… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/34 "2014-04-16T20:51:20Z")
“Waitron” is good. “Waitron 3000” is better. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/35 "2014-04-16T21:04:10Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I don’t think it is a portmanteau - what words is it collapsed from? - but I get your drift. > > Unfortunately, I don’t think much of “waitstaff,” “waitperson” or “server,” either, and we’re past such pointlessly gender-differentiated terms as “waiter/waitress.” > > How about foodbot? Checkster? We could call them by their “real” job name, but then we’re back to the gender issue with “actor/actress.” Waiter / automaton ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/36 "2014-04-16T21:08:10Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Waiter / automaton Duh. Okay, but it’s still meant as a funny. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/37 "2014-04-16T21:13:18Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The Subway Meatball Marinara is stuffed with a row of whole meatballs the length of the sandwich. They also have a “double meat for $1.50” option listed on their menu board…which certainly would be a tough to accomplish with this particular sandwich. I am heavily tempted to try this, but only when the really friendly prep person is on duty. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/38 "2014-04-16T21:16:37Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > One possible etymology is waiter+patron = waitron. Another suggestion is that it’s the first half of “waiter/waitress” with the _-tron_ ending suggesting the robotic nature of the work. I only use the word playfully, as it does feel robotic to me. I just say “server” if I want to be gender-neutral. It doesn’t have an artificial quality to it like “waitron” does, and it’s a common word. _Tron_ is Greek for _dude_. Cite: Venus Flytrap. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/39 "2014-04-16T21:24:45Z")
For Frith’s sake, just call them “waits.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/40 "2014-04-16T21:31:47Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > _Tron_ is Greek for _dude_. Cite: Venus Flytrap. [Venus explains the atom.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhbqIJZ8wCMhttp://) Nice cite. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259.md?page=3)