# Stupid restaurant tricks **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259 "2014-04-16T14:43:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/61 "2014-04-17T05:18:25Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > This. Also, they work hard and they don’t get paid much. Don’t give them a hard time. I wouldn’t do most of these things. They’re funny to think about, though. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/62 "2014-04-17T13:15:54Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > This. Also, they work hard and they don’t get paid much. Don’t give them a hard time. SO true. In old Usenet Cecil Adams threads about waiting tables, I would specifically say, “Don’t piss off the people bringing you your drinks, and food and to whom you are handing your credit cards.”…people in the thread would get FURIOUS, and make outlandish claims like _I_ was lying when I said I’d seen what happens behind the scenes. ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/63 "2014-04-17T14:10:31Z")
- Go to McDonalds and ask for a “McJagger.” - I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich but the server must have misunderstood me because she replied, “how would you like your eggs?” “Incubated! Then hatched, then raised, then plucked, then cut up and cooked, then placed on a bun. Damn, that’s gonna take awhile, I don’t have time - SCRAMBLED!” ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/64 "2014-04-17T14:28:26Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > That actually never occurred to me. I’ve just assumed the Greek “-tron” suffix like in Robotron, Megatron, Mellotron, electron, neutron, um, “Tron”… To be fair to you, “automaton” doesn’t have “tron” in it. I think it just sounds vaguely technical. There are lots of real words that include it (like “magnetron”) that sound pretty fake. It’s my own go-to suffix for making up silly robot names. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/65 "2014-04-17T19:50:01Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Give the host the name of your party as Donner. When the host calls “Donner, party of 4,” you show up and say, “We’re just three now.” On a past occasions I have given the name “Par-par” to hear them announce “Par-par party of 4”. But these days most places just give you a vibrating pager. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/66 "2014-04-17T19:57:54Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Hah! That reminded me of something that always makes me wonder a bit in restaurants - my plate is completely cleaned off, there is no food left anywhere in sight, and the waitperson asks me, “Are you done?” That’s your chance to ask for seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/67 "2014-04-17T22:04:01Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > On a past occasions I have given the name “Par-par” to hear them announce “Par-par party of 4”. But these days most places just give you a vibrating pager. I was waiting in a restaurant once and heard them call for “Wilde party of six.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/68 "2014-04-17T22:30:38Z")
Give you name as Pot Pot party! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/69 "2014-04-17T22:38:18Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Then when they bring it _exactly_ the way you ordered it, take one bite then send it back. Back when I waitressed, there was a family who would all do this - mom, dad, and 2 or 3 kids. :mad: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/70 "2014-04-17T22:39:52Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > This joke gets a lot of play in Nevada, California; not sure about elsewhere. > Give the host the name of your party as Donner. When the host calls “Donner, party of 4,” you show up and say, “We’re just three now.” Many years ago, I worked with a woman whose last name was Donner. We were nowhere near the Sierra Madres, but I wonder if she ever tried that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/71 "2014-04-17T23:08:47Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > On a past occasions I have given the name “Par-par” to hear them announce “Par-par party of 4”. But these days most places just give you a vibrating pager. Or, if there are 5 of you, give the last name as “Fox.” When they call [you](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108894/?ref_=nv_sr_3)… ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/72 "2014-04-18T01:27:21Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Many years ago, I worked with a woman whose last name was Donner. We were nowhere near the Sierra Madres, but I wonder if she ever tried that. 😛 The Donner Party got stranded in the Sierra Nevada, not in any of the several ranges known as the Sierra Madre. ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/73 "2014-04-19T13:38:47Z")
I quit going to a McD’s here. If you did indeed dare to order a cheeseburger, plain. You would get a hamburger bun, patty and the yellow wrapper. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/74 "2014-04-19T14:08:49Z")
A slight twist on the theme, to be used at a non-food oriented establishment. For instance the hardware store… When asked “would you like a bag/sack for that?”, the reply is “No thanks, I will eat it here”. Doesn’t usually get much of a laugh, although one cashier did give me a straight faced reply of “Sorry we don’t have any seating. This is a take-out only place.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/75 "2014-04-19T14:54:46Z")
Go into a McDonald’s and ask for a breakfast sandwich without the meat. I don’t know why, but it drives them crazy. You never heard of vegetarians? Fortunately, my local Mc’D’s is use to me by now. ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/76 "2014-04-19T15:02:22Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > “How would you like your eggs?” Unfertilized. ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/77 "2014-04-19T15:17:19Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Brian Haley had a bit where you palm a ketchup packet then stab yourself in the eye in front of the server. Then while you’re being escorted out, ask for a job application. Penn & Teller had a variation on this. Take one of those little foil-sealed cups of cream and conceal it in your hand, hold your hand over your eye, insert fork. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/78 "2014-04-19T15:19:38Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > We aims to please. A propos of nothing : just had a strong Wire flashback. _Man, fuck them West Coast posters. This is the Dope man, we aims to a please a nigga, ya heard ?_ ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/79 "2014-04-19T15:28:29Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > A propos of nothing : just had a strong Wire flashback. > > _Man, fuck them West Coast posters. This is the Dope man, we aims to a please a nigga, ya heard ?_ FWIW, it was a _Silver Streak_ shout out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Haldurson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/51bf81/32.png) [@Haldurson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haldurson)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259/80 "2014-04-19T16:29:00Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > For all the possible amusement here, I still think it’s a bad idea to troll people who have access to your food out of your sight. I totally agree, speaking as a former busboy to partly pay for college. I know it’s not particularly funny, but we’d have people show up at the restaurant at like midnight or just after to order desert and coffee, and not want to leave – and no one wants to work until 3 AM just serving coffee. So we’d get out the vacuum cleaner and start vacuuming until they got the hint. At one place I worked, a co-worker of mine seemed to have a real knack for getting things for free at restaurants, whether it was a drink or desert, or the whole meal, by complaining about the food. Even the smallest details would get 'let me talk to your manager. He wouldn’t exactly make stuff up, but it still was embarrassing to be with him – I started to think that maybe they saw him coming and would do stuff to his food on purpose. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-restaurant-tricks/686259.md?page=5)