# Stupid Santorumisms **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 20, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417 "2012-02-20T14:10:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/241 "2012-03-07T00:38:39Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > . . . For example, if you are taking a class in Geology, and insist the earth is only 6,000 years old, you will be docked marks because you are wrong, not because you are a conservative. . . . . And the word “wrong” doesn’t have to be objective. My old anthropology prof told the class, on the first day, that she didn’t ask anyone to believe in evolution, only to learn about it well enough to give the answers on the tests that she wanted. She said, “Out there, in the wide world, it may not be true, but inside this classroom, for this hour, evolution is true.” Students have to learn lots of things they don’t agree with. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/242 "2012-03-09T23:53:34Z")
I can’t even get some of my students to put the damn page numbers on their essays or spell my name correctly. My colleague C. commented that it’s pretty obvious from some of the work they’re turning in that her students are not listening to a single word she says. We’re not doing a very good job of indoctrinating them, are we? Now, give me the chance to chain them to their desks, each student in a separate room so as to keep them isolated; let me fill them full of drugs and give them non-stop propaganda blaring through the loudspeakers all day and night; let me feed them if and when I feel like it; and let this all go on for about a year. Then I’ll be able to produce a bunch of collegiate Manchurian Candidates who will actually do what I would like them to do…because, you see, by that point I will have brainwashed them. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/243 "2012-03-10T00:00:14Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Some conservatives may feel that they have been docked grades for their opinions or their political affiliation, when in fact they were docked grades because they did not understand the material, or they delivered answers that were factually incorrect. > > For example, if you are taking a class in Geology, and insist the earth is only 6,000 years old, you will be docked marks because you are wrong, not because you are a conservative. > > If you are taking a class in Biology, and you answer a question with “because God did it”, you will be marked incorrect because you are wrong, not because you are a conservative. > > If you are taking a class in sociology, and you answer a question with “The Lamestream Liberal controlled media is brainwashing the public with their socialist lies”… You will be marked incorrect because you are wrong. > > If you are taking a class in Comparative Religion, and you produce an essay that is a diatribe about how Christianity is the only true religion, but do not produce any citations or quotes or evidence of thoughtful analysis… you will receive a poor grade not because you are a conservative or a Christian, but because you are a poor scholar. > > Etc. > > But many Christian conservatives do have quite the martyr complex, so they will continue to think that they are specifically being picked on by the mean liberals. In the plus side, a conservative religious higher education can be completed in seconds rather than years. The answer to all questions is “because that’s how God wants it”. Where’s my diploma? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/244 "2012-03-10T00:18:00Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > …Where’s my diploma? Can you wait till morning, just after coffee? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/245 "2012-03-10T01:32:11Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Can you wait till morning, just after coffee? If that is God’s will… ---
**Author:** ![Snite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Snite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snite)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/246 "2012-03-10T03:48:14Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > If that is God’s will… Inshallah. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/247 "2012-03-10T04:15:49Z")
> [@](#): > > It is or it isn’t, depending on the definition of “our.” The [Santorum](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-09wbrQPtTpw/T0opekxi0hI/AAAAAAAACN4/0VyEkf7ojh8/s1600/Santorum+cartoon.jpg) campaign? > [@](#): > > We’re talking about a religious tradition which says the exact same thing to kids with birth defects Well, if you want to get into the [genetic fallacy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Stopes#Advocacy_of_eugenics)… > [@](#): > > she was a willing participant in her heart of hearts. Consign her to the seventh circle! > [@](#): > > I’m a lover of traditional families and of the right of children to have a mother and father… It’s like they’re purposefully trying to offend Laura Ingraham. > [@Santorum](#): > > Yeah, he’s a nice guy. Picturing him say Hitler was a nice guy just makes me smile. ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/248 "2012-03-10T15:34:48Z")
with the dumb shit he says…its a wonder that the Jesuits haven’t sent a crack team of bishops to assassinate him. I mean seriously, the Catholic church has gotten enough bad press in the past decade, they really don’t need Ricky. Also, the US has become enough of a laughingstock in the international community, we don’t need a president who’s name is a euphemism for the residue of anal sex. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/249 "2012-03-10T16:40:31Z")
All the Vatican Warlock Assassins are off harvesting tiger blood. I don’t even think we need him to be a candidate. I know some liberals want him to win the primary because Romney has a greater chance of winning the general, but Romney is at least least embarrassing than many European leaders. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/250 "2012-03-10T16:42:12Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > …we don’t need a president who’s name is a euphemism for the residue of anal sex. More precisely, the residue of anal sex is named for him. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/251 "2012-03-11T04:05:54Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > More precisely, the residue of anal sex is named for him. Of course it is. Because it’s God’s will. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/252 "2012-03-11T05:28:43Z")
> [@KarlGauss](#): > > Of course it is. Because it’s God’s will. Yes! Yes! I see it, its coming clear, its all coming into focus…Oh, wait. No, no it isn’t. Shit. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/253 "2012-03-12T17:30:46Z")
From [“9 controversial Rick Santorum quotes”](http://theweek.com/article/index/223041/9-controversial-rick-santorum-quotes) > [@](#): > > “The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘We’re going to decide who are people and who are not people.’” (CNS News interview, Jan. 19, 2011) > > “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?” (Santorum’s Philadelphia Inquirer column, May 22, 2008) > > “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American Left who hates Christendom. … What I’m talking about is onward American soldiers. What we’re talking about are core American values.” (South Carolina campaign stop, Feb. 22, 2011) > > “All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis, they’re not Palestinians. There is no ‘Palestinian.’ This is Israeli land.” (Campaign stop in Iowa, Nov. 18, 2011) > > “Would the potential attraction to Mormonism by simply having a Mormon in the White House threaten traditional Christianity by leading more Americans to a church that some Christians believe misleadingly calls itself Christian, is an active missionary church, and a dangerous cult?” (Santorum’s Philadelphia Inquirer column, Dec. 20, 2007) > > “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” (Campaign stop in Iowa, Jan. 2, 2012) > > “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. … That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing.” (AP interview, April 7, 2003) > > [my underlinings] ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/254 "2012-03-12T17:35:51Z")
> [@KarlGauss](#): > > Of course it is. Because it’s God’s will. It’s an interesting question why God wants Santorum’s name to be associated with purportedly the most vile of sexual acts. Also an interesting question is why God designed people so anal sex is so… convenient. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/255 "2012-03-13T21:41:21Z")
Santorum: [“The dangers of carbon dioxide? Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is.”](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/12/rick-santorum-plant-carbon-dioxide_n_1340387.html) ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/256 "2012-03-14T17:13:46Z")
Flood waters destroying homes in New Orleans? Tell that to a fish, the dangers of water! Mr Santorum, do you realize that the same _Science!_ that belies the “hoax” of global warming is also the source of your beloved fact that plants need carbon dioxide to live? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/257 "2012-03-14T17:36:46Z")
Seems to me a thread listing _smart_ things Santorum has said would pose more of a challenge. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/258 "2012-03-14T17:55:19Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > [Santorum says](http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/01/23/409242/santorum-to-rape-victims-make-the-best-out-of-a-bad-situation/): Victims of rape who get pregnant should accept their “gift” of a baby, and “accept what God has given to you.” Back in the day, it was Zeus Himself who did the raping. Can’t imagine how Zeus would have felt had Leda gotten an abortion or made an omelette for Tyndareus. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/259 "2012-03-15T03:24:35Z")
[Rick on Puerto Rican statehood](http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/14/us-usa-campaign-puertorico-idUSBRE82D16Z20120314): > [@](#): > > Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language. Wrong again, Rick. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417/260 "2012-03-15T22:49:45Z")
[Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English if you want statehood:](http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/14/us-usa-campaign-puertorico-idUSBRE82D16Z20120314) > [@](#): > > Puerto Ricans, who recognize both English and Spanish as their official languages, are scheduled to vote in November on a referendum to decide whether they want to pursue statehood or remain a self-governing U.S. commonwealth. > > In an interview with El Vocero newspaper, Santorum said he supported Puerto Ricans’ right to self-determination regarding the island’s political status. > > “We need to work together and determine what type of relationship we want to develop,” he told the newspaper. > > But Santorum said he did not support a state in which English was not the primary language. > > “Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law,” Santorum said. “And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language.” > > However, the U.S. Constitution does not designate an official language, nor is there a requirement that a territory adopt English as its primary language in order to become a state. > > Congress would have to give approval if Puerto Rico is to become the 51st state. Although Congress has considered numerous proposals to make English the official U.S. language, none has ever passed. There are, I suppose, good arguments one might make against statehood for a non-English-speaking-majority territory – if nothing else, it would break all precedent, from the beginning of the Republic; and it would require re-examination and redefinition of what the U.S. is, what it is to be American, what is our national culture and what are its outer limits, and whether a territory/people can ever be part of it that does not have a Britain-derived culture and never will, that, as a whole, will never assimilate to the larger American culture as individual immigrants to the mainland eventually do. But, Santorum cannot seem to think of any relevant arguments, he has to go all RW-constitutionalist and appeal to the authority of the “federal law” (which, after all, can usually/often/sometimes (depending on Congressional party strengths) be changed if a POTUS wants it, so, for a presidential candidate, just citing the federal law doesn’t end the discussion). And make it up, apparently. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-santorumisms/613417.md?page=14)