# Stupid Sports Team Names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 8, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923 "2006-09-08T15:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/41 "2006-09-09T16:00:24Z")
I live near Little Rock, Arkansas, and in the capitol city, we have the great fortune of having both the Arkansas School of the Blind and Arkansas School for the Deaf. Now, the School for the Deaf supports a sports program which includes football. I assume this is so due to the very large football field which one can see while driving past on Markham Street. In fact, you can get such a good view of the field that you can read the scoreboard with the school and mascot name written and illustrated upon it. What is the mascot for the Arkansas School for the Deaf? Why, it’s the Leopards. My inner 80s teenager giggles like mad every time we drive past. I have often wanted to go to the office at the school and ask if they realize… ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/42 "2006-09-09T16:14:30Z")
What gets me is the compulsion to shorten the name of all teams down to one syllable. I was taken aback when visiting my cousing in Ohio to hear that his preferred sports team was the _Calves_. Turns out that’s what they call the _Cavaliers_. Then there’s the case of the sportscasters who refers to the Cardinals, the Orioles, etc., as “the Birds.” It’s not that hard to pronounce three syllables, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Key_Lime_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/43 "2006-09-09T16:41:52Z")
There used to be a minor league hockey team: _the Macon Whoopee_ Good times. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/44 "2006-09-09T17:28:55Z")
[QUOTE=Asimovian] Last I remember, Venice still had a decent football program, so it can’t be all that bad. And if you guys had a water polo team, I can see where Gunther might have truly shined. 😉 [/QUOTE] I wasn’t exactly the jock type back in the day so I didn’t keep close track of such things. There is a pool on campus so I assume there is a water polo team. The football team was awful in the early 80’s but pro quarterback JP Losman went to VHS so they must have improved. ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/45 "2006-09-09T18:42:28Z")
My dad’s high school was the John Marshall Lawyers. Weak. Red Bull New York. Its just too blatant. (And I thought they couldn’t get worse than the Metrostars) I don’t know if these are stupid names, but they always make me smile The Cedar Rapids Kernels (complete with ear of corn mascot, Mr. Shucks) Hickory Crawdads, Hickory NC. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/46 "2006-09-09T20:02:35Z")
[QUOTE=Neptunian Slug] My dad’s high school was the John Marshall Lawyers. Weak. [/QUOTE] Many would find going up against a bunch of lawyers to be way more scary than say a cougar or a bulldog. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/47 "2006-09-09T20:26:15Z")
Cary, North Carolina was recently awarded a minor-league soccer franchise. Even after holding a contest, the best they could come up with was the mythical “RailHawk”, which apparently strikes fear in the hearts of train conductors everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/48 "2006-09-09T22:11:08Z")
I give you the Whittier Poets, from Whittier College in college which I believe is the Alma Mater of Richard Nixon. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/49 "2006-09-09T22:13:00Z")
[QUOTE=dalej42] I give you the Whittier Poets, from Whittier College in college which I believe is the Alma Mater of Richard Nixon. [/QUOTE] I meant Whittier College in California. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/50 "2006-09-10T04:53:16Z")
> [@furt](#): > > > [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#): > > > > The Kansas City Royals is a fine name since a group of royals can work as a team, since some will be princes, queens, etc. > > You may be chagrined to know the origin of the team name. It’s homage to an old Negro League team – the Monarchs. No it’s not, it’s a reference to the American Royal, an annual livestock show/Rodeo held in Kansas City. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/51 "2006-09-10T06:26:24Z")
[QUOTE=bluethree] What gets me is the compulsion to shorten the name of all teams down to one syllable. I was taken aback when visiting my cousing in Ohio to hear that his preferred sports team was the _Calves_. Turns out that’s what they call the _Cavaliers_. [/QUOTE] I also think that when naming teams, people should take into account what they sound like, rather than just what they look like. “Philly” is a nickname for Philadelphia. “Fillies” (which is what “Phillies” sounds like when spoken) are young female horses. Whenever I hear it, I get this image of My Little Ponies (complete with flowing pink manes) cavorting around in baseball caps. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/52 "2006-09-10T08:16:05Z")
[QUOTE=hajario] I went to Venice High School in Los Angeles ( **whiterabbit** attended about ten years later.) We were the Gondoliers (Go Gondos!). The mascot was Gunther Gondolier. He was an Italian guy with a mustache, a blue and white striped shirt who carried an oar. One can only imagine how intimidating that is to opposing players. [/QUOTE] Coulda been worse. I went to Culver City High. Home of the Centaurs. The strength of a man and the brains of a horse. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/53 "2006-09-10T15:15:19Z")
[QUOTE=Manatee] I went to Culver City High. Home of the Centaurs. The strength of a man and the brains of a horse. Or something like that. [/QUOTE] My step-sisters were cheer leaders at Culver. The centaur has a man torso and a horse body so the brains of a man and …um… other attributes of a horse. Actually a pretty good combination. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/54 "2006-09-10T15:47:54Z")
[QUOTE=Neptunian Slug] Red Bull New York. Its just too blatant. (And I thought they couldn’t get worse than the Metrostars) [/QUOTE] I won’t argue with that one, but as long as we’re talking MLS, can we all agree that “Real Salt Lake” is just ridiculous? ---
**Author:** ![Ass\_For\_A\_Hat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Ass\_For\_A\_Hat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ass_For_A_Hat)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/55 "2006-09-10T15:56:07Z")
You don’t get much more dumber than the [Watersmeet Nimrods](http://www.watersmeet.k12.mi.us/nimrod.html). ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/56 "2006-09-10T16:35:15Z")
We have two nearby high schools with names to fit the OP. The first is a Catholic school with the “Lady Bishops.” Maybe someday that won’t be so weird. The other, though, is doomed to weirdness. The “Ceramics” and the “Lady Ceramics.” My eyes glaze over when I think of those slips of girls mugging for the camera… ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/57 "2006-09-10T21:42:36Z")
[QUOTE=LilyoftheValley] I won’t argue with that one, but as long as we’re talking MLS, can we all agree that “Real Salt Lake” is just ridiculous? [/QUOTE] Considering there is nothing royal about Salt Lake City, it is sort of absurd. A lot of the MLS names were pretty stupid: Kansas City Wiz, Columbus Crew, the MetroStars. DC United didn’t sound all that bad, but just missed the point of why teams were called ‘United’ in England. I am glad the league is doing better, but they did a lousy job with naming the teams. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/58 "2006-09-10T21:46:47Z")
[Young Boys of Berne](http://www.bscyb.ch/) (Swiss football) [Thailand Tobacco Monopoly](http://www.thaifootball.com/clubs/team-yasoob.html) (Thai football) [Accra Hearts of Oak](http://www.accraheartsofoak.com/) (Ghanaian football) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/59 "2006-09-10T21:59:10Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] One of the teams in the professional Japan Ice Hockey League is the Kokudo Bunnies. Haven’t been able to find a picture of their uniform, though. [/QUOTE] [Here you go.](http://ohioohana.tripod.com/prpic/id31.html) ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923/60 "2006-09-11T05:16:27Z")
The national Rugby League competition in Australia is called the NFL - a direct copy from the USA, and so are some of their new team names: the \*\*North Queensland Cowboys \*\*(we don’t have cowboys here. We have jackaroos, drovers, station hands, roustabouts, but _not_ cowboys. Copied from the **Dallas Cowboys** I assume) the **Brisbane Broncos** (why use the US word for untamed horse? The equivalent Australian term _Brumbies_ would have worked perfectly well) the **Canberra Raiders** (copied from the **Oakland Raiders** I assume) the **Melbourne Storm** (yes, the weather _is_ bad in Melbourne, why do you ask?) the **Newcastle Knights** (we got rid of the Imperial Honours list over 30 years ago) IMO they are trying to dissociate the team name from any specific locale to make it easier to move them when appropriate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-sports-team-names/371923.md?page=4)