# Stupid, stupid, STUPID parents
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 16, 1999, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031 "1999-09-16T23:51:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [September 16, 1999, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/1 "1999-09-16T23:51:00Z")
Argh! Alrighty, most of you know I teach third grade. Today just plain pissed me off.
I have just one child who causes much trouble–we’ll call him Max. Max reads at a low first grade level, and is very low oeverall–I honestly think there may be a processing problem and am referring him for screening.
That’s difficult enough for Max–but on top of that, he is spoiled freakin’ ROTTEN. Get this–when he was in kinder, his dad (yes, dad) waited outside the office on the bench the ENTIRE THREE HOURS for the WHOLE YEAR until his son got out. They buy him everything–and if he has a hard day at school, Daddy-o takes him out and buys him something to make it better. Max is a moody, angry, resistant child who is quite frankly used to getting his way.
Well, Tuesday was Max’s birthday. Normally, his folks take him out of school and go play the day away; I managed to convince his dad to let Max come to school anyway. Max apparently did not like that, and pouted, sulked, and refused to work all day. Then he stole some tickets (I pass them out to reward good behavior–they’re redeemable for privileges and prizes) from another student’s desk; when caught, he threw his B-Day pencil and certificate on my desk and sulked. He lied at first, denying everything, but eventually admitted to the Principal that yes, he’d stolen the tickets.
Consequence? No recess (free recess or lunch) at all for the rest of the week, and he had to write a letter of apology to the student he stole from that had to be countersigned by parents. If he didn’t bring it, he wasn’t going on our field trip.
Today, dad brings the letter. It came in late. I open it, I read it…hmm. Dad’s handwriting. (Obvious–Max’s script is very immature.) Hmm…even worse: the letter said, “Dear Jim, I’m sorry someone stole your tickets and put them in my backpack. I hope you don’t think I did it, because I would never steal from anyone.”
Oh. My. God.
I thought I was going to pop I was so furious, as much as with the lying dad as the lying son. Max _admitted_ it! He told us the when, where, how, etc. I can’t believe the stupidity of some parents–covering for their child like that. UGH.
The principal and I called the parents this afternoon. The dad didn’t want to talk about it, wouldn’t admit to writing the letter, and just pawned it all off on his (thankfully) apologetic wife. She told us Max’s story changed instantly when he realized the Principal was on the phone. Max isn’t going on the field trip tomorrow–and if he doesn’t come (which is very likely–Dad may take him on that consolation trip), we’re sending someone to pick him up. Dammit.
What’s the worst of all is that Max could be a good kid. I like him, no matter what a wrestling match he may be each day. He could do so much better…if the parents were willing to help.
Dammit.
* * *
“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!”
“English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.”
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### Author:  [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/2 "1999-09-17T00:13:00Z")
Max is lucky he has you for a teacher. At least he’ll have someone with good sense around for a few hours a day.
Spoiling and coddling, and rationalizing or denying kids’ bad behavior is just another form of child abuse.
When did parents become so afraid of their kids?
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### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/3 "1999-09-17T00:47:00Z")
God, that’s just as bad as parents who constantly ignore their children! WHY do these people reproduce? (Bangs head repeatedly on keyboard)
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### Author:  [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/4 "1999-09-17T02:05:00Z")
Then there’s the ultra-paranoid, ultra-cheap parents that won’t let their children do anything or buy them anything. C’mon, your kids aren’t that bad.
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### Author:  [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/5 "1999-09-17T05:33:00Z")
People keep riding me about not having children. I know I’m not able to deal with this sort of thing… Isn’t it GOOD that I refuse to force my parental inadequacies on others!!!
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/6 "1999-09-17T05:47:00Z")
You know? You need a license to drive a car, go hunting, or even own a dog.
But they’ll let just _anyone_ breed!
There ain’t nuthin’ wrong with calling Dad (and to a lesser degree Mom) onto the carpet, is there? My teachers could be blunt with my parents. Can’t you and the principal have a meeting about this, where it is explained politely how their precious Max acts, and more importantly, how they should handle this?
Or did they take THAT possibility away as well?
* * *
Yer pal,
Satan
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### Author:  [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/7 "1999-09-17T14:06:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You know? You need a license to drive a car, go hunting, or even own a dog. But they’ll let just anyone breed!
This has been my opinion for a mess 'o years!
Vogue, I’ll bet you’d do better than you think. Recognizing your weaknesses is half the battle. Max’s parents probably don’t think they’re doing anything wrong.
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### Author:  [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/8 "1999-09-17T14:29:00Z")
Reproduction is a biological function. You may as well ask why they don’t require a license to eat, because so many people eat unhealthily or get really obese.
Sheesh.
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/9 "1999-09-17T14:51:00Z")
Fat people And digested food in general don’t go on to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (insert evil thing people do here) because they didn’t eat right…
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### Author:  [@Misanthrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misanthrope)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/10 "1999-09-17T15:10:00Z")
Satan said:
> [@](#):
>
> You know? You need a license to drive a car, go hunting, or even own a dog.
>
> But they’ll let just anyone breed!
Actually, under my proposal, people will need a license to breed. On their thirteenth birthday, all American males must receive mandatory vasectomies. When (or if) these males decide that they wish to have children, then the male (and the female) must then take a course educating them on the proper way to rear children as well as a psychiatric evaluation. If both prospective parents pass, then the vasectomy may be reversed and they may have a child. If complications arise and the vasectomy cannot be reversed, then adoptions will increase.
It solves a multitude of problems.
* * *
D’oh
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### Author:  [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/11 "1999-09-17T15:35:00Z")
Misanthrope opines:
> [@](#):
>
> Actually, under my proposal, people will need a license to breed. […] When (or if) these males decide that they wish to have children, then the male (and the female) must then take a course educating them on the proper way to rear children as well as a psychiatric evaluation. If both prospective parents pass, then the vasectomy may be reversed and they may have a child.
Sounds kewl, Misanthrope. I’ve always wanted to eliminate from society the memes that I disagree with, and having my partisans appoint members to the examining boards sounds like just the way to go.
* * *
“Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.”
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/12 "1999-09-17T15:46:00Z")
Oh, come on the lot of ya. Just how many of you think your folks did everything right raising you?
So Max is raised this way. Sure, some day when he is an adult he would make an excellent rich person. Very successful socially with other rich people. Just wait and see. 🙂
I do forsee the day that he is going to be suspended from school for a tantrum or hitting a teacher. Then he gets private school, whopee fun! If it was just average folks, they would probably put him in military school.
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### Author:  [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)
#### Post date: [September 18, 1999, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/13 "1999-09-18T05:34:00Z")
I sure hope the three of you are joking, because otherwise you are indistinguishable from the Nazis. Tell me, who is going to supervise this wonderful eugenics program of yours?
Sieg Heil!
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### Author:  [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)
#### Post date: [September 18, 1999, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/14 "1999-09-18T05:50:00Z")
Holy moly. This is a bad case. I hope folks keep trying to deal with Max fairly and firmly, like they would with any other student. I honestly don’t know how he’s going to manage when eventually must be separated from his parents.
By the way, isn’t it illegal to keep your kids out of school for a non-medical reason? Are Max’s parents totally unaware of this or do they just expect everyone to connive?
Anyway, the cure for Max is a strict regime of corporal punishment. Spanking, paddling, and the pillory. For his parents, that is.
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### Author:  [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)
#### Post date: [September 18, 1999, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/15 "1999-09-18T05:56:00Z")
Eugenics? Who said anything about genetics? I thought the above three were talking about parents with bad skills, attitudes, and morals, not bad genes.
By the way, isn’t it an unwritten law of the internet that when someone compares his opponents to Nazi that the thread is pretty much dead? If so, too bad. I was enjoying this thread, but **somebody** had to go and sieg on my parade.
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/16 "1999-09-17T18:40:00Z")
pldennison:
I never endorsed this plan. All I did was start it, apparently. Obviously, a license to breed does reek of all things Nazi. Still, shitty parents should at least have some punishment after they proved to fuck things up.
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### Author:  [@Misanthrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misanthrope)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/17 "1999-09-17T18:59:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> otherwise you are indistinguishable from the Nazis.
Tsk, tsk.
Name calling is never nice.
You remind me of Max in the original post.
* * *
D’oh
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### Author:  [@Paulette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paulette)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/18 "1999-09-17T19:04:00Z")
\>\>Obviously, a license to breed does reek of all things Nazi. Still, shitty parents should at least have some punishment after they proved to fuck things up.
Ohhh, they do. They get to live with their “products of conception.” 🙂
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### Author:  [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/19 "1999-09-17T20:17:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Eugenics? Who said anything about genetics? I thought the above three were talking about parents with bad skills, attitudes, and morals, not bad genes.
Well, gosh, since except for the most extreme cases, you rarely have any idea what kind of parent someone is going to be before they have children, just who is going to give these licenses, and whose attitudes and morals are they going to reflect? Sounds like eugenics to me. Or Social Darwinism, anyway.
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### Author:  [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)
#### Post date: [September 17, 1999, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-stupid-stupid-parents/8031/20 "1999-09-17T20:40:00Z")
pldennison writes:
> [@](#):
>
> Sounds like eugenics to me.
Euthenics, not eugenics, please; no genetic component was mentioned, or even implied, by any of us. Let’s get the insults right.
I suppose that I could have sub-titled my post, “A Modest Proposal”, or enclosed it in pseudo-HTML sarcasm tags, or the like. I am surprised (and slightly offended) that Misanthrope has not declined to identify _his_ partisans with _mine_.
* * *
“Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.”
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