# Stupid Things Said By Sportscasters **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932 "2003-03-29T00:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/21 "2003-03-30T02:07:28Z")
I don’t see why you guys are picking on Madden. Hell, nobody can be as bad as Billy Packer (who must be crying in his Geritol now that Duke has been eliminated from the Big Dance) and Bill did-too-many drugs-backin-the-'70’s Walton. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/22 "2003-03-30T02:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by qts \* > \*\*Here in the UK we had (he’s retired) announcer famous for making a cock-up. Check out Private Eye’s Colemanballs. \*\* Yes, [that deserves a cite](http://www.private-eye.co.uk/balls.htm). The magazine comes out (and the site is updated) every two weeks. I don’t think the current batch beats many of the comments already quoted in this thread so far though. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/23 "2003-03-30T02:54:07Z")
from here: [http://www.whatever-dude.com/posts/317.shtml](http://www.whatever-dude.com/posts/317.shtml) > [@](#): > > In the same game, he comments following eye candy Melissa Stark’s on-field report: > > Stark: …they are telling me that Driver is doubtful to come back in this game. Al? > Michaels: Thanks, Melissa. > Madden: Heh, it’s so cold out there, and she has a hat and everything. Before long, she might be a snow person. > > (pause) > > Madden: Because it’s snowing so hard. I was going to say “snowman”, but since she’s a lady, that wouldn’t work. I – > Michaels: First and ten at the Atlanta 26. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/24 "2003-03-30T04:42:05Z")
Most boxing commentators who were prizefighters tend to suffer from the “foot-in-mouth” problem. This, I believe, has to do with the many blows to the head suffered during their careers. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/25 "2003-03-30T11:00:24Z")
Marquette used to be called the Warriors, but changed their name from the Native American reference. Now they’re the Golden Eagles. In yesterdays game, the announcer found a happy medium, just before a break, says something like…“we’ll be back with the Golden Warriors leading the Wildcats…” ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/26 "2003-03-30T11:59:05Z")
I honestly forget who Tyson was boxing against–but it was the match that was momentarily interrupted by a guy in a parachute landing in the ring. In the minutes that followed, I heard the announcer say, “I’ve seen stranger things in my life, but none stranger than this.” But you just said you’d seen stranger things! Have you seen stranger things or haven’t you?! ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/27 "2003-03-30T12:09:03Z")
I believe Mike Shannon and the late Jack Buck liked to drink a few Buds while doing the play by play for Cardinal Baseball games. Listening to the game on the radio, one of them said: “a deep fly ball to deep Centerfield…\…FOUL BALL!” ---
**Author:** ![bjohn13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@bjohn13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bjohn13)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/28 "2003-03-31T03:17:58Z")
One could always go back to the famous Dizzy Dean…who liked to comment about a baserunner who “slud” into third… But my all time favorite Dizzy Dean comment came from a game from the 1950’s (I can’t remember who…I’m using a 1990 copy of Bill James’ _Total Baseball_ for the cite): “There’s a fly ball, deep to center field. The outfielder is running hard. Oh my! The ball bounced off his head. He’s able to pick it up, though, and is now throwing it back to the infield.” I guess the unwary listener (there was no TV in those days) might have thought the outfielder was throwing his head back into the infield. A side note on Madden…I love the guy. I admit…I hated him next to Pat Summerall. However, a year of Pat Sumerall in the booth without Madden has made me realize that Sumerall is a total doof and should have retired years ago. Madden with Michaels is just too much fun. I love the way Michales provokes Madden. I have a feeling that Madden knows exactly how stupid he sounds…and just does it to get a rise out of people. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/29 "2003-03-31T04:55:52Z")
A few years ago Tony Greig (South African born former England captain) was commentating on a one day match in Sydney. As cricket can often be slow, the cameras often pan around whichever ground the match is at (I think this one was at North Sydney Oval, which is very nice.) There was a wedding at the church next to the ground between a white man and an asian woman. After commenting on the dress and flowers etc, Greig said something like “I wonder if they’ve flown her in for the ceremony”. -Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/30 "2003-03-31T05:04:07Z")
I also remember a couple of years ago Michael Holding, the former West Indian fast bowler making a comment that was pretty funny. I think Brian Lara’s (it may have been Carl Hooper) wife had given birth to a daughter, who they named Sydney as the Windies were playing a test in Sydney at the time. After the co-commentator filled the viewer in about this turn of events, Holding, in his laid back West Indian style said “Lucky they weren’t touring Pakistan, she might have been named Lahore.” There was silence from the booth for about 5 minutes. -Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/31 "2003-03-31T06:05:56Z")
Tony, that one wins a prize! I overheard this comment on a radio sports show once: He’s a has been and he always will be!" ---
**Author:** ![Latino\_Yoshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Latino\_Yoshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latino_Yoshi)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/32 "2003-03-31T07:08:08Z")
From a mass e-mail I received: Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: “This is really a lovely horse, and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.” My favorite thing I’ve heard is from Dennis Miller on MNF, who was for once actually doing a good job analyzing the last play when all of a sudden he shouts “Skittles!” ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/33 "2003-03-31T10:36:38Z")
Of course, there’s always the famous cricket one: “The batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willie.” ---
**Author:** ![herman\_and\_bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f1d935/32.png) [@herman\_and\_bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herman_and_bill)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/34 "2003-03-31T13:29:36Z")
Not on the air but, Marv Alberts “spank me baby” Jimmy the Greek explaining why Blacks are better at sports. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/35 "2003-03-31T14:32:04Z")
On the Harry Caray vein of mispronouncing names, he was once referring to Brad Ausmus, catcher for the Houston Astros. He switched the first vowel sounds of each name resulting in Broad Assmus. And, watching the women’s basketball tournament last night during the West Regional. The announcer was making a point that the 4 teams playing in California for this portion of the tournament had to travel excessively long distances to play there. The announcers quote - “It seems odd that 4 teams located east of the Mississippi River had to travel this far to play.” The 4 teams? LSU, La. Tech, Texas, and Minnesota of which only 2 are actually east. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/36 "2003-03-31T14:34:57Z")
Brian Williams is the chief dude at CBC Sports, and he’s the anchorman for all the Olympic broadcasts and crap like that. A few years ago they tried him on baseball games. The results were… surreal. “It’s WELL HIT! DEEP TO RIGHT! And it’s caught by the second baseman right behind the base.” ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/37 "2003-03-31T14:36:00Z")
To revise a well-known political saying: Q: How can you tell when a sportscaster is saying something stupid? A: His mouth is moving… ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/38 "2003-04-01T05:40:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle from Hell \* > \*\*Ummm… How about _anything_ John Madden says? \*\* Has SNL done a parody of John Madden? A local radio talk show host plays sound clips from Madden that really sound like him, but are bizarre enough to make me think that it’s being impersonated. One of my favorites: Dennis Miller on MNF made a reference to Keith Jackson after a tight end made a catch. Dan Fouts immediately chimed in with a “Whoa, Nelly!”, the broadcaster’s signature catchphrase. I shouted at the TV, “No you dumbass, he meant the guy that used to be a tight end for the Eagles.” And as soon as I finished, Dennis said, “Actually Dan, I meant the former Eagles tight end, not the announcer…” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/39 "2003-04-01T07:41:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Latino Yoshi \* > “This is really a lovely horse, and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.” I’m a taxidermist … I’ll mount anything! ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932/40 "2003-04-01T15:32:45Z")
Murray Walker, F1, retired. Pretty much ANYTHING. [http://www.chrisknowles.mcmail.com/murray.html](http://www.chrisknowles.mcmail.com/murray.html) ’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-said-by-sportscasters/164932.md?page=3)