# Stupid things you believed as a kid II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068 "2004-12-21T22:49:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/1 "2004-12-21T22:49:29Z")
In the style of creatively thinking of clever ways to name sequal thread titles I have come up with the brilliant idea of adding ‘II’ to the title. I enjoyed reading the replies to this thread last time I posted it so I, er, decided to post it again, with some things I believed that I’ve just remembered. I used to think that the night before people’s birthday, while they were asleep, they grew a full inch taller, and they didn’t grow at all on any other night of the year. I also believed that eyes sent out a sort of ‘seeing ray’, rather than being mere collectors of light. What did you believe? ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/2 "2004-12-21T22:55:17Z")
I believed my best friend’s dad was an intelligence agent and had a self destruct button in his car. In my defense, I know nothing about cars and he always had a locked briefcase with him. yay. 500 posts ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/3 "2004-12-21T22:56:49Z")
> [@Greenback](#): > > yay. 500 posts Congrats. Can I have them? (then my count would be much closer to 10,000) ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/4 "2004-12-21T22:58:48Z")
What do I get in return? \*starts considering becoming a post trafficer ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/5 "2004-12-21T23:16:37Z")
My dad told me that animals used their tails to wipe their asses and I believed him until I was about 10. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/6 "2004-12-21T23:18:19Z")
> [@Greenback](#): > > What do I get in return? You can have a year off my join date. As a kid I believed cats were female and dogs were male. ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/7 "2004-12-21T23:33:21Z")
I can’t remember if I posted in the last thread…I’m going to assume that means I didn’t. (By no means a safe assumption, but what the hell.) 1. When I was very young, I believed that my father took the leaves off the trees in our yard every fall and put them back up in the spring. This probably stemmed from seeing him clear dead leaves out of the crook of a tall tree when I was three or so. 2. Not exactly a belief, I suppose…but I spent many a perplexed moment in the kitchen trying to figure out why plastic wrap, sandwich bags, and clear tupperware lids didn’t make everything they covered invisible. I guess I thought clear was a color, same as any other… 3. I believed that everyone was magically given all the answers at the age of 18. I really wish that last hadn’t turned out to be quite so misguided. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/8 "2004-12-21T23:36:33Z")
I believed that mothers could read minds. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/9 "2004-12-21T23:41:07Z")
When I was very young, I assumed the electricity shut off at night. After all, all the lights were out, right? And all my friends thought so too. So one sleep-over party, we stayed up allll night watching the night light to see when it would go out… I alos had someone warn me about cooling my neck over the car air conditioning vent by telling me my neck would get “stiff”. I thought “stiff” meant like stiff as a board, like I _would never, ever be able to move it again._ :eek: So I became deathly afraid of car air conditioning. To this day, an overly air conditioned car gives me a head ache… ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/10 "2004-12-21T23:46:58Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I used to think that the night before people’s birthday, while they were asleep, they grew a full inch taller, and they didn’t grow at all on any other night of the year. I remember two early abortive attempts at sarcasm. I was about eight or nine, and when I woke up on my birthday, I said to my mum, “why do my pyjamas still fit me?”. I expected a bit of a grin and that was it, but nooo. Mum took me at face value, and it got entered into the “cute things kids say” family folklore, and is still dragged out at family gatherings decades later. She would never believe that I _knew_ kids don’t grow overnight on their birthdays, not even if I tried to tell her now. So I have never bothered. The other one was when I tried out “snakes must lay very long eggs”. That one fell way wide of the mark too, and my mum makes similar mileage out of it even today. Yeeesh. That’ll learn me. > [@](#): > > I also believed that eyes sent out a sort of ‘seeing ray’, rather than being mere collectors of light. I was confused when the light thing was explained to me. Why light? If I was looking at a light bulb, fair enough, but most objects don’t glow. No, you just see them because they’re _there_ right in front of you! How can you not see them? D’uh. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/11 "2004-12-21T23:51:19Z")
I believed that televisions were like portals to the show that was playing. If you knew how, you could “jump into” and visit the characters. One of my related beliefs was that when a person died, their ghost would be trapped inside of his or her picture. I spent about a month being afraid to be in the livingroom by myself because of the fear that the ghosts of my relatives might escape from their pictures and get me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/12 "2004-12-21T23:55:51Z")
I believed my Grampa when he told me watermelon seeds would sprout and grow out my ears if I swallowed them. Didn’t stop me from swallowing them, though. I thought it would be cool-looking… ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/13 "2004-12-21T23:59:52Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > As a kid I believed cats were female and dogs were male. I thought this too when I was little, in spite of the fact that my family had a male cat and a female dog. My four-year-old recently informed me that he holds the same belief. Weird. I used to think dogs’ tongues were made of bologna. My mom once told me that there was a little man under the hood of the car, and when she pushed the right button he peed on the windshield. I think I believed it for about a week until my sister clued me in. ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/14 "2004-12-22T00:06:27Z")
I was told that somewhere out there, there was an entire factory of people who did nothing all day except chew up peanuts and spit them into jars. This is how peanut butter was made. I couldn’t eat peanut butter until I was 18. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/15 "2004-12-22T00:09:30Z")
> [@foxymoron](#): > > I thought this too when I was little, in spite of the fact that my family had a male cat and a female dog. > My four-year-old recently informed me that he holds the same belief. Weird. I used to get mixed up on this too. It was the “feline”/“female” thing that threw me… ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/16 "2004-12-22T00:24:52Z")
I used to think that when you set the needle on a record (yeah I’m old) that somewhere in a studio the singer would start to sing. I spent a couple of days trying to fool the singer by putting the needle in the middle of the song. Never could fool the singer. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/17 "2004-12-22T01:21:47Z")
I thought those character toy phones were real. You know the ones based on The Flintstones or Jetsons or Disney. You would press a button and the character would “talk” to you. I thought they were real and I never used one because I couldn’t imagine talking to a big star like Fred Flinstone. What would I say? Yabba Dabba Do, I like talking to you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/18 "2004-12-22T01:26:59Z")
I was told that if you eat rye bread crust, your hair will get curly. Well I must’ve eaten a lot of rye crust because look at me now! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/19 "2004-12-22T01:46:03Z")
I used to believe that turning off a radio turned off the music. When you turned the radio back on again, it would start playing at the same point in the music it had been at when you turned it off. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068/20 "2004-12-22T01:51:14Z")
When my grandfather was working on something, and I, being his sidekick, was helping, rather than just tell me to go play or something, he would give me a very important task, like looking through all the drawers in the garage for his misplaced skyhook. I looked for that thing a dozen times before someone told me he was teasing me. I fell for it so many times because, being a tenacious child, I’d still be looking when he finished whatever he was doing. He’s say, he’d look later. then when he asked the next time, if I said I hadn’t found it before, he’d say he had, and just couldn’t remember which drawer it was in. Sheesh. I had even convinced myself I’d seen it at some point. I had a picture in my mind of what I was looking for… I think in the other thread I mentioned that I thought I could fly, having jumped off the garage roof to prove it. I still think if I’d had a bigger dish towel cape… I think I somehow related that skyhook to my ability. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-believed-as-a-kid-ii/281068.md?page=2)