# Stupid things you ought to know how to do, but don't **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799 "2005-02-18T22:06:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/41 "2005-02-19T04:15:20Z")
I can’t do any handyman stuff. I can usually pull apart and fix most sort of basic technology (I can install new computer drives, or do a basic oil change and tune-up on a petrol engine), I can tell you how steam, diesel, petrol (and two stroke) engines work, I can explain how a jumbo jet gets into the sky and what the various bits do… **BUT** …that’s all stuff that other (and much smarter) people have designed and built. As far as actually having to _make_ something myself goes, I can’t even put up a set of kitchen shelves. Not on yer life. I’d have to “call the man in” to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/42 "2005-02-19T06:11:37Z")
I can’t snap the fingers on my right hand either. I’ve tried for years and they almost snap, but not quite. I can’t iron. I can’t peel potatoes with a knife. I have to use a peeler. I can’t make my hair look like the stylist does. I can’t apply mascara right the first time. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/43 "2005-02-19T06:34:33Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I can’t peel potatoes with a knife. Almost forgot, I can’t do that, either. I can chop and dice like a chef, but I shred my fingers every time I try to peel a potato. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/44 "2005-02-19T06:39:37Z")
> [@MissGypsy](#): > > Almost forgot, I can’t do that, either. I can chop and dice like a chef, but I shred my fingers every time I try to peel a potato. Curiously enough, neither of my parents can get the hang of the peeler. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/45 "2005-02-19T09:42:24Z")
Moonwalk. Damn that Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/46 "2005-02-19T10:19:09Z")
I can’t… •Do anything but simple math in my head. •Snap my fingers, either. ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/47 "2005-02-19T15:10:53Z")
> [@Cherry2000](#): > > Drive a stick shift. Understand how it works…but I can’t really say I know how to do it. I’ve had two people “try” to teach me, and I still can’t do it either. I also can’t use chopsticks properly. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/48 "2005-02-19T15:35:36Z")
[QUOTE=brad\_d **Float on my back**. I’m quite comfortable in the water, and can swim just fine. I don’t know if I have buoyancy issues regarding the back float, or what, but my legs just _sink_, and I wind up flailing.[/QUOTE] I can’t do this either. I love swimming and love being and the water. I envy people who can just float around on their backs for hours in the water. It looks so relaxing. I can’t snap with the fingers on my left hand. I can’t whistle using my fingers. When I try I just wind up with very spitty fingers. I can’t make cornbread like my Granny. She makes it look so simple; she uses a paucity of ingredients, measures _nothing_ and hers comes out perfect every, single time. Don’t get me wrong, mine isn’t bad. It just isn’t as good as hers. I can’t read subtitles and follow the movie at the same time. I haven’t given up and doubt I ever will, it’s just very difficult for me. If I’m reading the subtitles, I’m missing what’s happening and vice versa. However, if given the option of watching a foreign flick subtitled or dubbed, I’ll pick subtitled every time. Dubbed is just way too distracting to me. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/49 "2005-02-19T16:10:15Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > I can’t whistle using my fingers. Nor can I. And I can’t keep a Hula Hoop gong either. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/50 "2005-02-19T17:01:17Z")
I can’t cook hardboiled eggs. I think the taste is vile, and the smell is worse, so I never learned how. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/51 "2005-02-19T17:14:00Z")
I didn’t realize until just now that it bothers me that I can’t whistle with my fingers. A little googling revealed a few techniques. All they did was make me gag. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/52 "2005-02-19T17:14:55Z")
Compute compound interest. I can handle radioactive decay just fine. I am considered one of the World’s Experts on a certain photometric formula which is also an exponential function of optical depth. No problems with that. Gaussians? Gaussians are my bitch. But I have never been able to figure out compound interest. Why is any math involving money 100 times harder than when it involves something simple, like, say, quantum chromodynamics? ---
**Author:** ![LuckiestGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@LuckiestGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LuckiestGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/53 "2005-02-19T19:04:09Z")
Can’t whistle either…actually didn’t know there were so many of us! I have noticed though that occassionally when I do try to whistle a tune 9 times out of 10 someone who CAN will start to whistle the same tune, but obviously better. Are they trying to show off or just start something? As for the poster who said they couldn’t moondance…that should be considered as something just shouldn’t be done regardless! My Blog _[Don’t laugh so hard, it may be funny but it’s also my life](http://luckiestguy.blogspot.com/)_ Lucky ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/54 "2005-02-20T00:26:37Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > Compute compound interest. > > I can handle radioactive decay just fine. I am considered one of the World’s Experts on a certain photometric formula which is also an exponential function of optical depth. No problems with that. Gaussians? Gaussians are my bitch. > > But I have never been able to figure out compound interest. Why is any math involving money 100 times harder than when it involves something simple, like, say, quantum chromodynamics? I can’t understand the above post. But what’s really silly is … I can’t blow my nose. Never have been able to. It’s a mystery. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/55 "2005-02-20T00:45:40Z")
[QUOTE=Jayn\_Newell] I’ve literally sat in a guys field of view (not in his direct line of sight, but he should have seen me sitting down) for five minutes before he noticed me. Don’t beat yourself up - men have considerably poorer peripheral vision (but much deeper tunnel vision) than women. It’s all to do with the old hunters v gatherers arrangement - Allan and Barbara Pease set it out nicely in their book “why men don’t listen…” When it comes to noticing women, men usually only focus on what’s right in front of them, which, happily most of the time, is boobies. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799/56 "2005-02-20T01:18:17Z")
[QUOTE=mamboman] > [@Jayn\_Newell](#): > > I’ve literally sat in a guys field of view (not in his direct line of sight, but he should have seen me sitting down) for five minutes before he noticed me. > > Don’t beat yourself up - men have considerably poorer peripheral vision (but much deeper tunnel vision) than women. It’s all to do with the old hunters v gatherers arrangement - Allan and Barbara Pease set it out nicely in their book “why men don’t listen…” When it comes to noticing women, men usually only focus on what’s right in front of them, which, happily most of the time, is boobies. Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I’ve had the same problem with girls. Actually, it was a girl who first mentioned that I seem to appear out of mid-air. Oh, boobies, so that’s why no one notices me. Think it’s time for implants 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-things-you-ought-to-know-how-to-do-but-dont/290799.md?page=2)