# Stupid "you owe me a new keyboard" comment **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2007, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998 "2007-02-28T07:12:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/21 "2007-02-28T12:18:33Z")
[QUOTE=Surok] Keyboards. Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. I am so waiting for [this one](http://www.artlebedev.com/everything/optimus/). [/QUOTE] > **[Alphagrip Next Gen](https://www.alphagrip.com/)** Y’all need to buy one so that they can make the second generation! ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/22 "2007-02-28T12:23:54Z")
[QUOTE=Sage Rat] > **[Alphagrip Next Gen](https://www.alphagrip.com/)** Y’all need to buy one so that they can make the second generation! [/QUOTE] Get thee behind me, **Sage Rat**! I’m already getting squeezed out of my workspace by the excess number of keyboards I have. I’m probably violating some health and safety regulation. :smack: oh, I forgot, we don’t have health and safety over here. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/23 "2007-02-28T13:08:27Z")
[QUOTE=Sage Rat] > **[Alphagrip Next Gen](https://www.alphagrip.com/)** Y’all need to buy one so that they can make the second generation! [/QUOTE] Okay, fine. You sold me on it. Should be here in a few days. I better like it or I’m holding you personally responsible 😉 . ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/24 "2007-02-28T13:17:13Z")
I ordered last week the one **Sage Rat** linked (he’d told me about it), but now I want that one **Surok** linked, with the lit keys that change! Doctor, am I sick? Is it serious? Can I leave work now and go get a lie-down? ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/25 "2007-02-28T14:41:05Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] I ordered last week the one **Sage Rat** linked (he’d told me about it), but now I want that one **Surok** linked, with the lit keys that change! Doctor, am I sick? Is it serious? Can I leave work now and go get a lie-down? [/QUOTE] **Nava** , I think it’s serious. Very serious. I realized this when someone offered to bring me back something from the States. And I asked him to bring me a keyboard. (Not really good behaviour, because he was going on his vacation, which always means bringing back stocks that will last until the next trip home). It’s [soooooooooooo sexy](http://www.daskeyboard.com/) though. And it drives our sysadmins nuts. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/26 "2007-02-28T15:00:55Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Now that we don’t pick lice out of each others hair. [/QUOTE] This thread does nothing to convince me that we, as a species, have ceased picking nits. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/27 "2007-02-28T15:14:08Z")
[QUOTE=Renee] Okay, fine. You sold me on it. Should be here in a few days. I better like it or I’m holding you personally responsible 😉 . [/QUOTE] Ah, well to give a full appraisal then. Good: You don’t have to contort your fingers to do any sort of combos. If you play MMOs, this is great because you will generally have to be able to run over ten different spells, and toggle between casting modes (self, target), plus drive, plus… It is easy to learn to type on it. It took me only about two days to learn the keys. Though it took about a month to get to where I could type at a reasonable speed. You can play curled up on your beanbag, wrapped in a comforter. 🙂 Bad: The mouse-ball thing sucks. It’s geared to work like a normal mouse, but a normal mouse considers 4 inches of movement as moving across the screen. Your thumb is however all of one inch long. If you crank the speed on Windows all the way up it’s servicable, but still mildly annoying. You can’t play games which hard-code WASD and don’t let you configure your own keymaps. (This is limitted to stupid Flash games and such, but it’s still annoying.) Hopefully the next generation will have one of the laser-scanner type movement detectors on it instead of a rollball, but with that I would say that it’s pretty much where it needs to be to be a 100% viable product. (Right now it’s like a 80%.) ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/28 "2007-02-28T15:17:40Z")
[QUOTE=Surok] It’s [soooooooooooo sexy](http://www.daskeyboard.com/) though. And it drives our sysadmins nuts. 😃 [/QUOTE] Heh. I never learned to type (I grew up around computers, so I’ve learned through daily practice rather than proper teaching), so it was pretty fun when I started being able to touch type. My hands hunt and peck just fine while I’m looking up talking to someone beside me. (Of course, that’s irrelevant with the AlphaGrip as you can’t see most of the keys to begin with.) ---
**Author:** ![DJ\_Motorbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@DJ\_Motorbike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJ_Motorbike)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/29 "2007-02-28T18:57:50Z")
Someday, someone is really going to be out a keyboard due to the carelessness of someone else’s sharp witted remark. How will we be able to take his claim of keyboard failure seriously? Making this sort of remark is not only unfunny, but socially irresponsible. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/30 "2007-02-28T19:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > the urge to make a ‘new keyboard’ crack Somehow I just can’t get past the keyboard crack concept. Is it anything like a plumbers crack? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/31 "2007-02-28T19:04:53Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] I like how you did this. Making every word a sentence, to emphasize your point, as if you were stopping after every word in real conversation to let the listener absorb the importance of your point, that the “YOMANK” line is played out. I’ve never seen this before. I mean, ever. Did you invent it? [/QUOTE] Har har. Yes. I. Invented. It. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/32 "2007-02-28T19:09:42Z")
Alright kids, get over your whining. YOMANK is so played. And **Rigamarole** has thrown down the gauntlet. We need a new official SDMB way to say “That was quite amusing to me, thank you.” The floor is open for nominations. I suggest “There are daffodils in my cranium.” ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/33 "2007-02-28T19:11:39Z")
How about “Oh, snap”? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/34 "2007-02-28T19:15:59Z")
“These pretzels are making me thirsty.” ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/35 "2007-02-28T19:16:43Z")
You Made Me Shit My Britches! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/36 "2007-02-28T19:17:36Z")
[QUOTE=Surok] It’s [soooooooooooo sexy](http://www.daskeyboard.com/) though. And it drives our sysadmins nuts. 😃 [/QUOTE] > [@](#): > > The new Das Keyboard has been designed to produce even greater speed by providing responsive, tactile feedback with its new gold-plated and clicky high-end mechanical key switches. Ooh, stop! You had me at “clicky”. 😉 (Clicky? Seriously? This is pretentious add writing now?) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/37 "2007-02-28T19:38:44Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Ooh, stop! You had me at “clicky”. 😉 [/QUOTE] I think we have a winner! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/38 "2007-02-28T19:43:15Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Alright kids, get over your whining. YOMANK is so played. And **Rigamarole** has thrown down the gauntlet. We need a new official SDMB way to say “That was quite amusing to me, thank you.” The floor is open for nominations. I suggest “There are daffodils in my cranium.” [/QUOTE] I suggest “Punch me in the ass, that was SO funny!” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/39 "2007-02-28T20:27:40Z")
The thought of this thread made me choke on my Coke and then start coughing so hard that I projectile vomitted all over my monitor. It is dripping down into my keyboard as I type this making it really slippery and hard to type. You owe my some new periperals, a cleaning service, and some Lysol. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998/40 "2007-02-28T20:30:17Z")
[QUOTE=Nic2004] You Made Me Shit My Britches! [/QUOTE] YOMNB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard-comment/393998.md?page=3)