# Stupidest movie plot EVER. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 13, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884 "2002-05-13T20:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/1 "2002-05-13T20:26:31Z")
Okay, we’ve all seen really shitty movies about mosters or aliens or killer sorority girls and the like, but all of those have some pretty interesting plot or idea to make the schlock seem a bit tolerable. But some movies just have such a ridiculous storyline and/plot idea that it’s just too much to bare. My vote: **Junior**. Danny DiVeto and Arnold Schwartzeneghfjshar are scientists working on a new fertility drug, but in order to test it without being discovered, they do something wacky. The result: A pregnant Arnold. Oii…anyone think they got something better (or worse, as it were)? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/2 "2002-05-13T20:47:11Z")
**Nasty Habits** Glenda Jackson as a Nun based on Richard Nixon (!), who engages in Watergate type trickery. ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/3 "2002-05-13T20:49:30Z")
There are more from Arnold S. that fit your description. I can only imagine the planning in some studio boardroom: 1. “Hey! what if tough-guy Arnold Schwarzenegger somehow has to be a teacher for thirty rambunctious six-year-olds, and the six-year olds keep getting the better of him and make him look like an oaf? Hilarious! We’ll call it **‘Kindergarten Cop!’** ” 2. “Hee hee, Danny DeVito is so short and unattractive and Arnold is so big and handsome. What if we made a movie where they were twin brothers? Hilarious! We’ll call it **‘Twins!’** ” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/4 "2002-05-13T20:54:14Z")
I can’t imagine a more absurd plot than the one in **Face/Off**. ---
**Author:** ![Molly\_Coddle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bcef8e/32.png) [@Molly\_Coddle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molly_Coddle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/5 "2002-05-13T21:02:19Z")
" How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog" – see plot ~~\> [http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/entertainment/movies/reviews/s\_64583.html](http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/entertainment/movies/reviews/s_64583.html) ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/6 "2002-05-13T21:54:28Z")
I never saw it, but i will put **Battlefield Earth** up there any day. Just a hunch. ---
**Author:** ![Jabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5e925/32.png) [@Jabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jabba)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/7 "2002-05-13T22:39:38Z")
**Dead Again** : A man murders two people, then waits for them to be reincarnated and discover that he killed them so that he can kill them again. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/8 "2002-05-13T22:52:32Z")
\ There’s a power-struggle between the Queen and the Council. The council controls the military, the queen has a wand of “summon and control” An old loyal to the queen wizard discovers that there’s _another_ wand of “summon and control billions of dragons” If this gets into the hands of the Eeee-Vil head of the council, the balance of power will be tipped and chaos will run amok! Does the wizard burn the one reference book that has this information and then kill himself so no-one will ever discover it again? No. Does the wizard get one or two loyal people and try to find the item to break it? No. Does the wizard decide to have it retrieved? Yes. Does he choose people known for their loyalty, discression and stealth? No. Does he pick two bumbling incompetents who couldn’t find their asses with both hands? Yes. Are they instructed to break the wand once they get it? No. The whole movie was gibberish but it was redeemed in the end 'cause everyone died. Although I’m not sure why, exactly, they died. The dumbest part of the movie is that, rather than throwing a few bones to their built-in audience (gamers), they chose to toss the “D&D” rules out the window, thus alienating the one group who could otherwise be counted on to go. Since when is a prime material component of EVERY spell pixie dust? :rolleyes: It would have taken a couple of changes of dialogue to get the names of the freaking spells right and endeared themselves to gamers everywhere. Instead, they pissed _everyone_ off. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/9 "2002-05-13T23:31:45Z")
_Baby Geniuses_: talking infants save the world! Stupid _and_ creepy! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/10 "2002-05-14T00:44:17Z")
_Titanic_. I mean, like that could _ever_ happen. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/11 "2002-05-14T00:57:25Z")
Along the same lines as Junior but predating it… Billy Crystal in… [Rabbit Test](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0078133) ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/12 "2002-05-14T01:09:51Z")
I agree with the Arnold Schwarzenegger films - they’re evenly divided between testosterone-poisoned shoot-em-ups, ridiculous tripe and actual _good_ movies. At least he has a better track record than a lot of other actors for making at least one good film. My personal hatred would be _American Pie_ - both incarnations of them. Ruined a perfectly good song with Beavis-and-Butthead jokes. Makes me sick. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/13 "2002-05-14T01:42:32Z")
**Hell Comes To Frogtown** It is the future, after nuclear war, and because of the radiation the Earth is populated by giant anthropomorphic mutant frogs. Their main community is Frogtown, where they rule all. There are few humans left, and those that are left, are sterile from the radiation. However, there are a handful of fertile women left, and they’re absolute babes, but they’ve been kidnapped by the frogs in the heart of Frogtown. There is only one fertile man left. He must enter Frogtown, find the babes, save them, and have sex with them to save the human race. He is played by Rowdy Roddy Piper. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/14 "2002-05-14T02:14:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daniel \* > \*\* He is played by Rowdy Roddy Piper. \*\* …as if anyone else could do it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chekmate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@Chekmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chekmate)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/15 "2002-05-14T03:20:31Z")
I put my vote in for [Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.](http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=info&id=1804379962&intl=us) I’m sorry, but that movie was just retarded.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jass)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/16 "2002-05-14T03:54:54Z")
I’m not sure if this qualifies, cause this movie didn’t have a plot. But the movie I DREAMED OF AFRICA was the most useless piece of shite I have ever seen. I cannot imagine how a person could devise a movie without a DAMN PLOT!! ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/17 "2002-05-14T04:54:47Z")
I was going to say “Plan 9 From Outer Space”, but Chekmate pointed out “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”. My god that’s a stupid movie. Just to be different though, I’ll go with “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. The, er, “plot” is that aliens are attempting to resurrect the dead in order to take over earth. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/18 "2002-05-14T06:04:30Z")
I second the vote for the American Pie(s). How many boob/poop jokes can the average human reasonably be expected to endure in a lifetime? Also, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back was incredibly bad. I am a Kevin Smith fan, but ever since Clerks, his movies have continued to get worse and worse. His strength is engaging dialogue- he should stick with that and not attempt more Airplane!-esque films. (Another marginally horrendous movie, IMO.) Some other incredibly plotless films: 13 Ghosts- just saw this. The plot seems to be that there are some ghosts locked up in a house. Then they get loose and people die. If it were just that, it might be a tolerable film, but wait! It gets better: back-from-the-dead villains, double-crossing goth chicks, greedy lawyers, and that foreign guy from “Wings”. End result: lots of special effects and me saying “WTF!?” for a good five mintues. Con Air- no plot whatsoever. An early attempt at plot establishment gives way to big explosions and brain dead one-liners from Nicholas Cage. What is Malkovitch doing there?! American Psycho- turns out serial killers do some fucked-up things. Well, yes. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/19 "2002-05-14T06:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daniel \* > \*\ ***Hell Comes To Frogtown** > > It is the future, after nuclear war, and because of the radiation the Earth is populated by giant anthropomorphic mutant frogs. Their main community is Frogtown, where they rule all. There are few humans left, and those that are left, are sterile from the radiation. > > However, there are a handful of fertile women left, and they’re absolute babes, but they’ve been kidnapped by the frogs in the heart of Frogtown. > > There is only one fertile man left. He must enter Frogtown, find the babes, save them, and have sex with them to save the human race. He is played by Rowdy Roddy Piper. \*\* Best. Movie. EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/20 "2002-05-14T06:33:44Z")
Perhaps the worst movie plot ever is “It’s Pat” based on the SNL gender ambiguous character. I saw part of this movie when I was up at 3:30 AM and was really bored. Basically, the movie takes one gag and stretches it and stretches it and stretches it. I don’t think there really was a plot. After a couple of minutes, I just got a sort of glazed look as I absorbed quite possibly the worst of all the movies derived from an SNL skit. 😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884.md?page=2)