# Stupidest movie plot EVER. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 13, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884 "2002-05-13T20:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tetsusaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@tetsusaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tetsusaru)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/61 "2002-05-16T13:32:32Z")
Monkeybone. I`d summarise the plot for you, but I operated on my own brain so I wouldn`t have to remember how inane it was. I second Arlington Road - that was the least plausible murder plan I`ve ever seen in a movie, which is saying something. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/62 "2002-05-17T01:09:54Z")
\Soul Survivor\ Wait, what was it about? I knew less about the movie afrer I saw it then I did before ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/63 "2002-05-17T01:11:51Z")
**Soul Survivor** Wait, what was it about? I knew less about the movie after I saw it than I did before. Sorry…PREVIEW, dammit PREVIEW! ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/64 "2002-05-17T01:12:54Z")
Note to self: You do not know HTML ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/65 "2002-05-17T02:03:50Z")
Bad plots in good movies? How about almost every Bond movie? [ul] [li] _Goldfinger_ The fate of the entire world rests on whether or not Bond can bang Pussy-the-implied-lesbian-Galore so she’ll switch the nerve gas canisters. Oh, and he also has to kick Harold Sakata’s ass.[/li][li] _Moonraker_ The fate of the entire world rests on whether Jaws will have a change of heart (b/c he’s in love) and turn some crank manually to let Bond escape from the space station, so he can use the onboard laser in his escape shuttle to shoot down a doomsday satellite before it releases deadly orchid spores.[/li][li] _For Your Eyes Only_ The fate of the entire world rests on finding Kristatos’ secret hideout so they can intercept the ATAC code-breaking device before the Russians get it. How’d they find out? A parrot. “ATAC’s going to Cincyros…BRAAAK!!”[/li][li] _The Spy Who Loved Me_ Good thing the security cameras weren’t set up to record Bond hiding on top of that…that…giant ball in a track on the ceiling.[/li][li] _Goldeneye_ The fate of the entire world rests on whether or not that chick can “send spike” and find out where Boris the computer hacker is hiding. (As a Dev, I really love the way he twirls a pen in one hand and uses the other hand to type away at blinding speed).[/li][li] _You Only Live Twice_ The fate of the entire world depends on whether or not Blofeld decides to give Bond his cigarette-rocket-launchers. “It won’t be the nicotine that kills you Mr. Bond…”[/li][li] _Octopussy_ The fate of the entire world rests on whether Bond can get picked up while hitchhiking by a fat, sausage-eating German couple. And find a clown costume.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/66 "2002-05-17T05:48:41Z")
A bratty, Valley girl is chosen to be a savior of mankind. She has to fight creatures of the night equipped with only her wits, a mentor, cheerleading tumbling skills and a piece of wood. I think you can guess what this movie was. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/67 "2002-05-17T05:56:32Z")
_Sabrina_? Oh, sorry, the girl in that movie only fought daytime creatures. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/68 "2002-05-17T06:31:04Z")
I didn’t know Sabrina had tumbling skills. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/69 "2002-05-17T12:43:13Z")
Actually, a lot of these had quite good plots; they were just a bit far-fetched. But otherwise things like the Bond films and Arnold’s comedies (and I’d put “Kindergarten Cop” as one of his best, and “Twins” and “Junior” certainly superior to “Total Recall”) are perfectly fine plots. For an example of a stupid plot, take **Alien**. The plot only works because everyone on the Nostromo is a complete moron. The plot for “Battlefield Earth” is also pretty stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2002, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/70 "2002-05-17T14:35:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mullinator \* > \*\*I am flummoxed as to how this thread could grow so large without someone having already mentioned Double Jeopardy. \*\* Double Jeopardy gets an exemption as Ashley Judd got naked in this movie. Made it all worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/71 "2002-05-25T01:56:50Z")
I beg to differ on **Dude, Where’s My Car?**. It was good _for what it was_. It was a dumbass teen comedy with a linear plot, and it managed to keep the pace steady throughout the entire thing. If you thought certain plot elements were stupid, okay, but everything that happened in that film was led up to by something that happened before. It all came full circle and there were no loose ends. And it was funny, dammit! I once knew a guy who went to see **Hot Shots!** (the first one) and came back grumbling that it was “stupid”. Said I, “It was a Zucker brothers film! What did you expect, socially redeeming values?” **D,WMC?** is not to everyone’s taste, but that doesn’t mean it was poorly produced. I think **Amadeus** was stupid, but it got Best Picture. Whatever. And I must correct **Narrad**. Rodriguez wrote the script for **From Dusk Till Dawn** and then sold it, so it was bad before they cast anyone. Or is that what you meant: that the producers thought a hot cast would make up for a bad plot? Perhaps they did. Rodriguez was supposed to be Tarantino’s boy, so they may have felt pressured to buy it. Now. My vote for stupidest movie plot: **Satisfaction**. There **is** no plot. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/72 "2002-05-25T06:43:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*Nobody’s mentioned _Freddy Got Fingered_? \*\* The OP was “Stupidest movie plot EVER” not “which movies HAD no plot” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/73 "2002-05-25T10:09:00Z")
Now, now, a lot of the movies mentioned are _supposed_ to have stupid plots. Like _Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back_… you thought they were trying to be serious with that plot? Heck, you might as well criticize _Monty Python & The Holy Grail_. Now, movies with stupid plots (that were supposed to be an attempt at a good plot): I nominate _Evolution_. It had the epitome of all weakest links… it had the stereotypical Army General That Likes To Blow Things Up And Won’t Listen To Anyone That Tells Him Not To. This led to the entire final “battle” with the big bad monster. That, and it was boring as all hell, and the characters seemed to do fuck-all for no reason whatsoever. “Hey, we won’t tell anyone about this… that way, we’ll get all the credit!” Yeah. It’s life from another planet. They’re going to keep it quiet. I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/74 "2002-05-25T12:43:14Z")
Both my wife and I think that **Joe Versus the Volcano** is the worst movie we have ever seen. A few years ago my wife bought me the Carrot Top movie **Chairman of the Board**. I watch about 20 minutes of it. A few weeks ago I through it in a free box at a neighbor’s garage sale. She brought it back, no one would take it. Today it is going to a Goodwill donation box. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/75 "2002-05-25T23:40:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racer72 \* > Today it is going to a Goodwill donation box. What did the Goodwill people ever do to you? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/76 "2002-05-26T01:46:44Z")
Since “worst plot” implies the existence of a plot, that rules out **Driven**. I really hated **Batman**. My understanding of that plot was that there is a psychotic clown whose only goal in life is to bomb the city with acid to put permanent smiles on their faces. The only way to stop him is for an eccentric millionaire to spend ridiculous amounts of money developing equipment and vehicles to eventually put himself in a position where the clown could fall off of a building. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/77 "2002-05-26T03:07:43Z")
\*\*Permanet Midnight \*\* was just god awful. Turned it off twenty minutes into it because there was nothing redeemable about it. \*\*Wild Wild West \*\* How could a movie with Kevin Kline, Wil Smith and Kenneth Branagh such this much? \*\*Cutthroat Island \*\* and \*\* Long Kiss Goodnight \*\* both were by the worst actress in Hollywood, Geena Davis, the second had potentional with a nice interesting plot, but put Geena Davis as a spy with amnesia in an action film and it’s like asking Marlon Brandon to run a 100 yard dash. He can do it but it ain’t purty to watch. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/78 "2002-05-26T03:22:22Z")
_Night of the Lepus_ Okay it’s 1970something and sci-fi movies about radiation doing **horrible** things to various animals played itself out back in about 1959. But wait, there is still one animal that hasn’t gotten a shot---- **Bunnies!!!** It was like a really awful Godzilla movie, but with cuteness and furiness galore. ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/79 "2002-05-26T03:47:14Z")
Mission Impossible 2. Twins and Fifth Elemant are good. They are both cheesey in a good way sci-fi comedies. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884/80 "2002-05-26T04:53:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WSLer \* > \*\*_Night of the Lepus_ Okay it’s 1970something and sci-fi movies about radiation doing **horrible** things to various animals played itself out back in about 1959. > > But wait, there is still one animal that hasn’t gotten a shot---- **Bunnies!!!** It was like a really awful Godzilla movie, but with cuteness and furiness galore. \*\* You forgot that it also has :::drumroll::: DeForest aka Dr. McCoy Kelly!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-movie-plot-ever/108884.md?page=5)