Stupidest product design you’ve experienced

I’m finding that more and more things are “chirping an inane melody.” I like it with the washing machine. I dislike it everywhere else.

My washing machine’s alert noises can be turned off. And have been.

The microwave, inherited from my mother, has a Very Annoying Very Loud Beep; which cannot be turned off, other than by standing next to the thing and hitting the door button the instant it’s done or just before. My vote is that all these things should be volume-adjustable, including an off setting. My mother was mostly deaf, and liked the loud beep; needs and desires are going to vary.

I just saw “Scope Squeez mouthwash concentrate” in the store today which struck me as a particularly bad idea. They’re like those water flavor concentrate bottles, you’re supposed to squeeze some into a glass of water and boom! instant mouthwash. Unfortunately, I knew many folks who just squirted the Mio directly into their mouth, especially the Mio Energy variations.

Will squirting a few drops of mouthwash concentrate directly into your mouth provide the same benefit as cutting it with a bit of water first? It doesn’t seem pleasant but I’m sure a lot of people are going to try to use it that way. If they were smart, Scope already tested this use case to make sure those weirdos wouldn’t have a terrible experience. If not, I don’t see this product having a future.

There’s a series of card games called Smash-Up. There’s a bunch of different decks in the series which are sold separately. The company decided to sell a box that was designed to hold all of the separate decks (which also included a bonus deck).

The box has divider walls built inside of it which go all the way to the top of the box. Which is fine for holding the cards. But it means you can’t store the rule books inside the box. They could have easily modified the dividers to be a centimeter lower, which would have let you store the rulebooks in the box and even have the bonus of using less material and being cheaper to construct.

This company managed to screw up designing a box.

Our previous coffeemaker had an extremely loud beep. I assume so that you can hear it from anywhere in your house. The first time we brewed a pot I was very near it when it finished, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when it BEEEEPED at me.

The microwaves at my work have the worst controls of all time, I’m not joking.

It’s got the standard 1-9 numpad, but if you press 1 it’s 30 seconds, 2 is a minute, 3 is 1:30, 4 is 2 minutes, all the way to 9 with 4 minutes 30 seconds. So if you need to put a TV dinner for 6 minutes you have to hit 9 then 3 since it’s additive too. If you hit 9 then 1 and then 1 again it will only count the first time you hit 1 since it assumes your finger slipped.

Some of the old school microwaves had a dozens of buttons, giving you preprogrammed times for stew or TV dinners. Fewer is better, though the one for popcorn seems to have survived…

So what do you do if you want to use your microwave to call for emergency assistance?

Please enter the code sent to you phone to verify you are authorized to use this appliance.

Ha, mine has 32!

That includes such notable ones as help, timer, reheat, beeper volume, and potato.

Help scrolls instructions across a 7 character LED panel. I used it to see what the reminder button does (set it like an alarm clock). I don’t think I’ve ever pressed those two before tonight.

I wouldn’t say it’s a bad design, but certainly overly complicated for 99% of what it’s ever used for. I guess they have to do something to justify the premium price (I assume it’s premium, but I didn’t buy it, it came with the house).

or find a cat climbed through your sun/moon roof and decided your back seat was the perfect place to have its new litter … yeah I was told that seat never was entirely spotless after that

a lot of insurances wont insure or if they do at insane prices cards with no alarms

in la county there’s a law that says if there’s a continuous noise for more that 90 minutes the sheriffs dept have the right to disable the offending noise … usually by smashing the window an disconnecting the alarm the find originally was 350$ for every 2hours of noise

I want beeper volume! Please, I so want beeper volume! Especially if the lowest setting is “off”.

But kittens!

Please tell me you adopted.

There was an incident many years ago near me where a house alarm blared for DAYS. Owner was out of town and unreachable and police said they had no grounds to enter. If it had been near enough to hear, I would have been tempted to call 911 from a pay phone (they still existed then!) and say I saw an armed man enter through a window. I’m willing to be the police would have gladly used that excuse to go in, stop being hassled by all the neighbors/press…

Just this morning, a car alarm was going off periodically. It would honk for a minute, then stop, then start again just when i thought someone had gotten to it. This went on for so long that I was getting ready to go outside to check on our cars, even though I didn’t see their lights flashing, but as I started out the door, I saw a neighbor in his pajamas frantically trying to do something with his car. The alarm would stop, he’d step back and close the door, then it would start again. He finally popped the hood and it stopped for good. Ah, these peaceful Sunday mornings in the springtime!

yeah they kept them and Mom and they still have descendants of them too … their kids named them car-related names like wheels and turbo

I recently flew on an airplane that had the controls for each seat’s entertainment system on the armrest - perfectly positioned for the person sitting next to you to accidentally turn up the volume or change the channel with their elbow.

Oh good, a happy story.

I’ve never flown in a plane where that wasn’t the case.

I’ve flown on more recent planes that have the controls on the seatback screen.

We had a similar thing back in the '70s w a neighbor away on a trip and their alarm going off. Of course this being the 1970s, nobody had any way to contact them while traveling.

After about 12 hours of the old-fashioned burglar alarm bell ringing non-stop the cops had what they needed to cite the vacationing homeowners in absentia for some kind of disturbing the peace. At which point the Fire Dept. showed up, put a truck ladder up to the box tucked under the 2nd story eaves, and a big dude cleaved it off the side of the house with one swing of his axe.

The cheering and applause from the gathered neighbors was both heartfelt and hearty.