# Stupidest Question Ever! (this week) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951 "2005-04-25T02:06:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/41 "2005-04-26T11:51:28Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > A few years ago I was at a local lake, standing on a dock leaning against a rail, fishing pole in hand. I was watching my bobber which was about 30 feet from me. A cute blond gal, maybe 18, walks up and stands next to me. > > “Are you fishing for fish?” > > It was one of those situations where the answer is so obvious you don’t know what to say. She was cute? I think you should have said “I’m fishing for a date - what are you doing tonight?!” ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/42 "2005-04-26T12:13:24Z")
This happened about a year ago. My boyfriend, his two friends and myself were out swimming one day. On the way back home, we stopped at a corner store for drinks, chips etc. and my boyfreind, well he locked his keys in the car. Not in the ignition. But on the drivers seat. Boyfriend: I fucking locked they keys in the car Me: Oh shit Friend 1: What the hell are we gonna do Friend 2: Roadside Assistance? BF: Nah that’ll cost too much Me: ok, what are we going to do? try a coathanger or something? BF: No, small screwdriver under the drivers side handle pops the lock F2: Do you have one? BF: yeah but its in the friggin boot F1: Oi man, how do you get into the boot? BF: Uh, with a KEY! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/43 "2005-04-26T17:12:49Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > Received by e-mail last weekend: > > “How did the Earth get to be as old as it is?” I would have said “Diet & excersize.”, but that’s just me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/44 "2005-04-26T17:21:36Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > This isn’t a question but rather a stupid statement I made when I was younger (but still old enough to know better). > My mom and I were walking to the bus stop after watching a movie in which some horses were shot and killed. My mom was distressed at the way the animals must have been treated on the set since they were falling down all over the place. I told her not to worry because the horses must have stunt doubles :smack: Actually, there are strict rules and regulations governing the use of animals in movies. I don’t know about stunt doubles, but your mom can rest assured that the horses were fine. Remember that scene in **Shawshank Redemption** when Andy fishes a maggot out his oatmeal and gives it to Brooks, and Brooks feeds it to his bird? They couldn’t feed a live maggot to the bird. It had to be a dead one. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/45 "2005-04-26T17:37:47Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > This happened about a year ago. My boyfriend, his two friends and myself were out swimming one day. On the way back home, we stopped at a corner store for drinks, chips etc. and my boyfreind, well he locked his keys in the car. Not in the ignition. But on the drivers seat. I got a glurge email about keys locked in the car today. It claims (and my father claims to have verified) that with the remote key locks you can call someone with a spare, then have them click the thing over the phone, with the receiving phone near the car door, this should unlock the car. Don’t know if you can get a spare from the dealer if you lock both sets in. On the same theme, we once locked our keys in the trunk during a day of rafting. We’d left the windows down just a crack, maybe less than one inch. Mrs. Shibb, who likes to watch MacGuivyer back in the day, asked herself, what would McG do? So we took both of the shoelaces out of my shoes and made a little lasso, which we used to lasso the trunk latch. Voila! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/46 "2005-04-26T17:45:01Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > I work at Dollar Tree. Every surface in my store is covered with signs that state Everything $1. Evey day I get asked “How much is this?” I think I win. Is that a dollar plus tax or is the tax included? But that’s more than a dollar then. It should say a dollar plus tax! I overheard this in Dollar Tree once. Almost made me drop my Pine\*Sol. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/47 "2005-04-26T18:20:32Z")
“Do these stairs go down?” It took me a while to figure out what she meant to ask. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/48 "2005-04-26T19:01:15Z")
> [@jhinman](#): > > Working in a libray putting books away when some one comes up and asks “do you have it?”. > > I asked back “What?” > > they respond “It”. > > After a couple of minutes I realize they are talking about “It” by Stephen King and so them where “It” would be. “It” was out. I inform then of this. They walk a way. 2 minutes later I hear then ask a co-worker “Do you have it?” > > They never could never understand why I found then reffering to the book by title alone confusing. When my daughter was around three, she had a favourite stuffed cat, that she, or her brother had named, “Something Else.” Not to pass on a silly joke like that Mrs. Prefect and I loved the name. One night we had my M.I.L. stay over to watch the kids and my daughter went into a crying fit because she was asking for Something Else, and her grandma was getting her the wrong stuffed animal everytime 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/49 "2005-04-26T19:10:54Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I got a glurge email about keys locked in the car today. It claims (and my father claims to have verified) that with the remote key locks you can call someone with a spare, then have them click the thing over the phone, with the receiving phone near the car door, this should unlock the car. [Nope](http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/keyless.asp). ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/50 "2005-04-26T19:11:58Z")
I was reading this thread to my coworker and “are you fishing for fish” made her think of a story. We had a book that was going to be late arriving because it was being imported from a very slow publisher. A sign on the shelf said “Will Arrive in 4-6 weeks. Imported from England” to forestall the seven thousand “when’s my book coming” questions. A customer came up and said “Which England?” ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/51 "2005-04-26T22:16:45Z")
Was telling my friend and his partner one time about how I used to love my grandma’s [watermelon pickles](http://southernfood.about.com/od/picklesrelishes/r/bln223.htm). To which he responded all big-eyed: “Where do you get a jar big enough to put a watermelon in?” (This was right after the conversation we were having about why he was having such a hard time getting into law school… :rolleyes: ) ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/52 "2005-04-27T01:12:11Z")
Wow you guys. I’ve got a dent in my forehead from reading all of these replies! :smack: To paraphrase a great book title: “Stupidity is alive and well and living on planet Earth!” ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/53 "2005-04-27T01:35:51Z")
A 6th grader looking out the window of my second story classroom before class started: “What is that school bus doing outside of the school?” ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/54 "2005-04-27T05:12:57Z")
Now **Rancid** is getting into my territory… I’ve posted this one before, but it still amazes even me. I used to tell my students that no question is stupid. This one made me think twice about that: “If I sign up to take swimming next year, will I have to get in the water?” ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/55 "2005-04-27T07:03:29Z")
I used to have a boss who said that “no question is stupid” thing. Then one day the receptionist said, “I know this is a dumb question. But are there clams in clam chowder?” Her next best happened on a day when construction teams had torn the streets up outside our office and our water was turned off. A client asked, as a joke, if we hadn’t paid our water bill. Boss: “No, it’s these clowns who are tearing up the street.” Receptionist: “Clowns? Oh–I thought it was the construction people.” In fairness, she realized what she’d said a few seconds later. Although that was possibly because everyone else in the general area was giggling. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/56 "2005-04-27T07:35:13Z")
Well, I think the worst question I got was when I was explaining to a shipmate that my sister’s college roommate was a bit on the gullible side. I explained that the last time I’d visited my sister, I had my Mini-Maglite in my pants pocket, so as I kept walking into stores the metal detectors would go off with a musical _dong_. Eventually The Smurf asked what that was… So I explained that since I was a Petty Officer in the Navy I had to carry a pistol with me everywhere, and it was setting off the metal detectors. I’d ended this story saying that The Smurf was so gullible she fell for the line about, “Did you know gullible isn’t in the dictionary?” To which the guy I was telling this to asked, “You mean it’s not?” To his credit he realized what he said about a second before I burst into startled laughter. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/57 "2005-04-27T07:54:37Z")
Back when I was in college, I didn’t have a cellphone until my final year. My hostel had a few telephones, placed in a room marked ‘Telephones’. They were meant exclusively for incoming calls. I, like most of the students there, had a fixed day and time every month when I’d receive a call from home. Invariably, while sitting in the room waiting for a call, I’d get at least one passer-by asking me, “Waiting for a call, huh?” Duh! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/58 "2005-04-27T08:26:09Z")
In my experience, painfully obvious questions (eg. “so you fishing for fish?” “You waiting for a call?”) Aren’t really questions, they’re attempts at striking up a conversation. But maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/59 "2005-04-27T09:00:08Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > I was reading this thread to my coworker and “are you fishing for fish” made her think of a story. > > We had a book that was going to be late arriving because it was being imported from a very slow publisher. A sign on the shelf said “Will Arrive in 4-6 weeks. Imported from England” to forestall the seven thousand “when’s my book coming” questions. > > A customer came up and said “Which England?” “The British one.” 11th grade chemistry class: each person had been assigned an element, and on this particular day, we were doing presentations of our research. The person presenting had been assigned potassium, and mentioned the fact that pure potassium reacts explosively when exposed to water. Notoriously Stupid Girl raises her hand, and, without waiting for acknowledgement, yells “What about bananas?” Potassium Guy, after a moment of :dubious:, replies “…bananas have potassium, yes.” NSG drops her jaw in shock and gasps, "So if you stuck a banana underwater, it would _explode?!_ :smack: Yes. That’s why they grow them in the desert, you know. Waiting tables has provided me with no end of opportunities to be on the receiving end of idiotic questions. They’re even more fun when you hear them for the three hundredth time. Here are a few I get on a more or less daily basis: Q: What diet drinks do you have? A: We only have Diet Coke. Q: Do you have Diet Dr. Pepper? (Yes. Diet Dr. Pepper is, in fact, included in the set of “Diet Coke”. It’s a new beverage classification system I’ve developed. Also, using this system, Mountain Dew falls under “Sprite”, which is why when you ask what citrus-flavored drinks we have, and I respond “we only have Sprite”, you are correct in ordering Mt. Dew immediately thereafter. Good to see you’re keeping up on things.) Q: [picks up bottle of house barbecue sauce; points to words “BARBECUE SAUCE” printed in 1 1/2" script on bottle] Is this barbecue sauce? (No. We printed those words on there to fool you. It’s actually a mixture of arsenic, caramel color, and vinegar for that tangy deadly goodness.) Q: [picks up bottle of house barbecue sauce; points to same words] Is this steak sauce? (Well, that depends. I suppose you _could_, theoretically, put it on steak, and eat the result. Not my thing, but hey, if you’re one of those folks who’s into barbecued beef, be my guest.) Q: What side dishes do you have? A: [points to sides on menu; we have ten, and while I can list them all from memory, it’s easier for both of us if the customer just reads them] They’re listed for you right here. The veggie of the day is green beans. Q: [reads list: Baked Potato, Sweet Potato, French Fries, Red Bliss Potatoes, Onion Straws, Cole Slaw, Buttom Mushrooms, Roast Corn, Applesauce, Veggie of the Day] I’ll have mashed potatoes. (No you won’t.) Aaaah, I love people. (No I don’t.) Thanks for a reminder of how glad I am that, as of yesterday, I no longer work there. Basic Military Training is going to suck, sure, but at least I’ve been conditioned to getting yelled at for no reason. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951/60 "2005-04-27T10:06:43Z")
Okay, voice of experience here. You may find that Basic Military Training is even relaxing compared to your civvie experience. I did. Of course I was coming from a year’s experience answering phones for a small (150 bed) Hospital. I found boot camp to be, mentally at least, relaxing. I was more at peace in boot camp than I’d been for at least 9 months prior. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-question-ever-this-week/300951.md?page=4)