# Stupidest solution to TV mystries/crimes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2018, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948 "2018-02-16T19:24:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/61 "2018-02-22T20:53:37Z")
Was that you, or does your autocorrect really not like “Banacek”? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/62 "2018-02-22T22:06:47Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > By cheat I meant that, in the beginning of the episode, when the (fake) kidnapping occurs, the helmetless player milling about is black. But the kidnapped player was white. When Bannercheck does his “here’s what happened” reveal, the flashback (correctly) shows a white player milling about. So if you were an eagle-eyed detective, you could not have solved the case because the show gave false clues. It’s hard to be smarter than the TV detective when he cheats. > > In Project Phoenix, when the train pulls into [del]Los Angeles[/del] Boston, you can see inside the box car that was in front of the stolen flatcar. There is standard junk and dunnage there. But when Bananacheck reveals the solution, the open box car door this time clearly shows the large winch used to remove the flatcar. > > Banacek has a few more episodes where the heist as described wouldn’t work but that’s a different kind of stupid. You know, I thought I looked for both of those things the last time I saw those episodes. (They were rerun recently on an oldies station, but there are still a few I haven’t seen at all.) If they’re ever on again, I’ll keep a sharper eye out. I really wonder whether that stolen flatcar thing would work with a real train. Would the cable not snag on whatever was on the flatcar, could you switch the tracks fast enough to take one car out of the middle of a train, how do you keep the brakes from clamping on when the air lines are severed and how do you reconnect them once you’ve winched the train back together? Still, heck of a show. I’m glad I rediscovered it. And there are some great old shots of Boston, so they filmed at least some of it here. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/63 "2018-02-22T22:40:02Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > You know, I thought I looked for both of those things the last time I saw those episodes. (They were rerun recently on an oldies station, but there are still a few I haven’t seen at all.) If they’re ever on again, I’ll keep a sharper eye out. > > I really wonder whether that stolen flatcar thing would work with a real train. Would the cable not snag on whatever was on the flatcar, could you switch the tracks fast enough to take one car out of the middle of a train, how do you keep the brakes from clamping on when the air lines are severed and how do you reconnect them once you’ve winched the train back together? > > Still, heck of a show. I’m glad I rediscovered it. And there are some great old shots of Boston, so they filmed at least some of it here. I love Banacek, flaws and all. I got the DVDs as soon as they came out. Still watch them from time to time. The train car heist wouldn’t work. As soon as the brake hose was disconnected not only would the brakes go on, but the engineer would see the drop in line pressure. To do it, you’d have to set the valves at both ends of the flatcar and then disconnect (and reconnect when done) the hoses - not something you’d want to do while the train is in motion. If the investigation had noted the brakes were disconnected, it would have been plausible, but then the inherent “locked room” mystery element would have been missing. In real life, the heist of the jeweled coach (The Three Million Dollar Piracy) would have been solved in about 2 hours. The first thing that would have happened is the police would have locked down the docks. The obvious solution would be that someone switched the containers (somehow, method unknown), so a search of every container on the docks would have turned it up toot sweet. No need for outside specialists. > [@gigi](#): > > Was that you, or does your autocorrect really not like “Banacek”? 🙂 That’s me. “Bannercheck” was what Cap’n Jack (of the missing Two Million Clams) called him. The other one is just me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/64 "2018-02-22T23:15:16Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > Batman meets a new rich man who moved to Gotham named Mr. Alucard and is suspicious of his motives due to a coincidental sudden rise in crime but doesn’t have proof until he writes ALUCARD on a piece of paper and accidentally points it at a mirror so it reads DRACULA and cracks the case. > > The problem is that in order to see DRACULA in the mirror he has to have written ALUCARD mirrored in the first place otherwise it would still be mirrored. Is the problem that the letters would be individually reversed, and not just reversed in order? If that’s now what you’re saying, I’m not sure what the problem is that you’re referring to. Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/65 "2018-02-22T23:32:38Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Is the problem that the letters would be individually reversed, and not just reversed in order? > > If that’s now what you’re saying, I’m not sure what the problem is that you’re referring to. Yeah, I didn’t get that either. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/66 "2018-02-22T23:42:24Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Is the problem that the letters would be individually reversed, and not just reversed in order? > > If that’s now what you’re saying, I’m not sure what the problem is that you’re referring to. ALUCARD in a mirror looks like this: ᗡЯAƆU⅃A To look like DRACULA, it would have to be spelled like this: A⅃UƆAЯᗡ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/67 "2018-02-22T23:50:56Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I love Banacek, flaws and all. I got the DVDs as soon as they came out. Still watch them from time to time. There’s [an old Polish proverb](http://www.thrillingdetective.com/trivia/triv265.html) that says: “When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it’s not there for the sack races.” ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/68 "2018-02-23T07:33:47Z")
I don’t know if it drives just me nuts but on any mystery/cop (even foreign ones)when they investigate a murder the first thing out of any Leo is “its a robbery” Do they really do that irl? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/69 "2018-02-23T12:23:16Z")
Why wouldn’t they? It’s a common-enough motive for murder, and if it is, then there’s another crime to investigate, possibly with its own set of clues (like, where does the stolen merchandise show up, through what fence?). ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/70 "2018-02-23T15:04:22Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > ALUCARD in a mirror looks like this: ᗡЯAƆU⅃A > To look like DRACULA, it would have to be spelled like this: A⅃UƆAЯᗡ But it’s close enough! REDRUM in the mirror scared the shit out of me. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/71 "2018-02-23T18:59:41Z")
Nobody’s brought up **January Man** , where the murderer is killing helpless young single females who only have one thing in common: If you align their apartment windows (in relation to each building they live in) on a treble clef, the resulting notes play a song! Are you fucking _ **kidding** _ me?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/72 "2018-02-23T19:20:38Z")
> [@MovieMogul](#): > > Nobody’s brought up **January Man** , where the murderer is killing helpless young single females who only have one thing in common: > > If you align their apartment windows (in relation to each building they live in) on a treble clef, the resulting notes play a song! Are you fucking _ **kidding** _ me?!?!? Guess it wouldn’t B sharp to live in A flat. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/73 "2018-02-23T19:52:06Z")
> [@MovieMogul](#): > > Nobody’s brought up **January Man** , where the murderer is killing helpless young single females who only have one thing in common: > > If you align their apartment windows (in relation to each building they live in) on a treble clef, the resulting notes play a song! Are you fucking _ **kidding** _ me?!?!? [Similar things happen in real life.](http://www.foxnews.com/story/2002/05/09/mailbox-bomber-was-making-smiley-face.html) [Luke Helder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_Helder) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948/74 "2018-02-23T21:46:56Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > One that bugged me is the reveal in the Columbo episode “The Most Dangerous Match”, where deaf chess master Laurence Harvey attempts to murder another player by shoving him into a giant trash masher. But he’s not (quite) dead, as the trash masher shut off before he could be pulverized. > > The “evidence” is that the trash masher has an automatic cutoff, and that a deaf person attempting to use it as a murder weapon wouldn’t know it shut off. But it had already been suggested that the (not quite yet) dead man accidentally fell into the trash. So both an accident or a deaf murderer leave the same evidence. > > Columbo, more than almost any other show, must hand wave the trials. Columbo, unlike say, Brenda Leigh Johnson, doesn’t get a confession so much as an admission. I’d love to see what the LT’s conviction rate would be in real life, once these defendants (yes, they all are guilty, I know) gets into court with competent defense. > > Remember folks, don’t ever talk to the police (especially if you are actually guilty) and don’t try to outsmart genius detectives. They have more experience at it. In 99% of Columbo episodes, they would get away with it if they would just…shut…up! No jury would have convicted. Hell, no DA would take it to trial. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-solution-to-tv-mystries-crimes/808948.md?page=3)