# Stupidest thing you've ever said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 6, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228 "2012-06-06T01:38:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/41 "2012-06-07T11:08:46Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I can’t tell if this is mentioned because it dates from a time before people commonly found out ahead of time or because of It was totally the Dave Barry scenario. I was so sure, too, having been pregnant a number of times myself! Gah. I still cringe … And she’s another mom in my son’s grade at school! I’m going to have to face her for the next 11 years! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/42 "2012-06-07T14:06:31Z")
Freshman year of high school I had to read a book report on _The Narc_.I proceeded to tell the whole class " my report is about The Nard":eek: Somewhere about the same time I told my boyfriend, whom I had such an overwhelming crush on that I could never relax around, “don’t have a cornea!” Yeah, he was real impressed by my coolness and sophistication. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/43 "2012-06-07T14:42:18Z")
“Don’t have a cornea” :snerk: I’m going to have to use that, someday. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/44 "2012-06-07T14:45:52Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > In my late teens, my mom, her boyfriend Mark, and I were going home from the beach. For some reason Mark was giving me a very hard time. I finally get fed up and say, “You’re just trying to cover up your faults by pointing out mine!” :mad: I hope I’m not missing something really obvious, but this sounds like a totally reasonable thing to say, because people deflect criticism of themselves by changing the subject to the other person’s faults all the time. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/45 "2012-06-07T15:56:57Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > 1. I was at a pizza place with a salad bar. The salad bar was closing down so a female employee was going around the tables saying, “Last call for the salad bar.” I look at her and go, “It’s the last call girl.” Now I was talking about “last call” but it took her shooting me a dirty look to realize that I just called her a “call girl”. :o I think that’s kind of clever. ---
**Author:** ![gunnergoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e95f7d/32.png) [@gunnergoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gunnergoz)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/46 "2012-06-07T16:59:47Z")
I much regret this now but I was very young and foolish when it happened: there was this extremely pretty (but modest and very married) woman at work who had an exquisite figure. One day she walked by me and had to wiggle her hips to get by me in the corridor; between our proximity and her movements, it nearly blew my feverish little male mind. As she sat down in her cubicle I said to her, “Nancy, you are sitting on a fortune.” She blushed furiously and I felt like a heel because she in no way deserved such treatment. Fortunately, I apologized to her a day or two later when I could work up the nerve to talk with her again. Lucky for me and unfortunately for her, this was back in the days before formal sexual harassment rules in the workplace, otherwise my goose surely would have been cooked. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/47 "2012-06-07T18:18:41Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > It was totally the Dave Barry scenario. I was so sure, too, having been pregnant a number of times myself! Gah. I still cringe … And she’s another mom in my son’s grade at school! I’m going to have to face her for the next 11 years! :eek: That’s like the time I asked a women when her baby was due. Um, like… never? Me as a bank teller: Me: Ma’am, your husband needs to sign this. Him: I’m a man! ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/48 "2012-06-07T18:24:18Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > That’s like the time I asked a women when her baby was due. Um, like… never? > > Me as a bank teller: > > Me: Ma’am, your husband needs to sign this. > > Him: I’m a man! I once confused the sex of a person on the phone twice in one call. In my defence, it was a bad line. ---
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/49 "2012-06-07T20:41:33Z")
About 20 years ago, I was a volunteer for a help line. All sorts of people call there, heavy duty cases of depression to I flunked my math test, I want to die. Anyways, after 8 weeks of training, we went on site to take actual calls. I was really afraid I’d do or say the wrong thing, so I refused to take calls at first. Finally when I felt ready, I jumped in. The phone rings, I pick up, say hello Tel Aid and the voice at the other end says I want to die, I’m going to kill myself. AH damn! I freak out the exact call I didn’t want. So, having no choice, I start talking with the woman, trying to figure out her “level of seriousness”. Well she’s very serious. Here is the dialog for which I am still ashamed. HER: I have tried to kill myself three times before ME: OH! and it didn’t work? I’m typing these words and I’m still blushing from my own stupidity!!! _Goes back into lurking in shame_ ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/50 "2012-06-07T21:04:50Z")
These are great. I have a friend who has lived in Japan for several years. A few years ago he came home for a visit, and took me, my husband, and two of his other friends out for a nice dinner. I had just finished a course that involved Japanese history, so I was asking him some fairly specific questions about Japanese culture. One of his other friends was apparently very impressed by this because she asked me how I knew so much about Japan. So I was feeling pretty good at this point. One of those days where you’re on your game. Then my friend mentioned that while in Japan, he had taken a vacation to Cambodia. Says I: “How did you get there? Did you drive?” ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/51 "2012-06-07T21:32:51Z")
When my wife was nine months pregnant I asked her “How come you walk like a duck?” That was in 1962 and she still remembers it. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/52 "2012-06-07T22:23:57Z")
> [@Diver](#): > > When my wife was nine months pregnant I asked her “How come you walk like a duck?” > > That was in 1962 and she still remembers it. Apparently she makes sure you do, too. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/53 "2012-06-07T23:09:14Z")
“It would have probably looked OK on you a couple of months ago, but right now it doesn’t look very slimming.” ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/54 "2012-06-08T01:03:27Z")
While in college, during a student free jazz performance (in my defense they were awful) I whispered to the person sitting near me “It sounds like they’re just making it up as they go along!” Um. Yeah. Kind of the point. Whoops. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/55 "2012-06-08T02:38:44Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > I hope I’m not missing something really obvious, but this sounds like a totally reasonable thing to say, because people deflect criticism of themselves by changing the subject to the other person’s faults all the time. But we weren’t talking about his. I don’t remember the circumstances, but he just started flicking me shit for no good reason. He wouldn’t let up and that was the only comeback that I could think of. > [@enipla](#): > > I think that’s kind of clever. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/56 "2012-06-08T14:04:28Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > How is your husband? > > To my professor of whom I knew very well that her husband had died some months ago. She was gracious, but the only thing I could say then was “I’m so sorry, I’m an idiot”. :smack: :smack: :smack: Don’t worry, my SO’s sister-in-law asked me how my mom was a couple of weeks ago. I actually felt bad reminding her that my mom had died two years ago. As to the thread, I’m sure I have wiped the myriad of stupid things that come out of my mouth, from my mind. For good, one hopes. ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/57 "2012-06-08T14:58:54Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > “It would have probably looked OK on you a couple of months ago, but right now it doesn’t look very slimming.” Yup a couple of times a year. ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228/58 "2012-06-08T16:11:20Z")
When I was a kid, my parents would let me run around the neighborhood to play, and they would blow a loud police whistle when they wanted me to return home. One Christmas morning, I was messing around in the woods with my new BB gun when I heard the whistle. I ignored it and continued enjoying the fine day. A little while later, the whistle blows again. Figuring I had better heed it before I got into trouble, I headed back home. I met my Mom standing out by the garage, and she confronted me. “Where have you been?” “I’m sorry,” I responded, “I didn’t hear the whistle until the second time you blew it.” We both burst into laughter as soon as the words left my mouth, and I think that saved me from getting reprimanded that day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-ever-said/624228.md?page=2)