# Stupidest thing you've heard a newscaster say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981 "2008-07-28T21:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/81 "2008-08-04T20:18:58Z")
A local talk radio guy (Mark Davis during his stint in DC, IIRC) was covering a controversy about a sex-education class demonstration of how to apply a condom, using a vibrator as a demonstration model. One caller suggested that it might be more helpful to explain the vibrator’s intended use. The host responded. “I don’t think the schools are going to touch the ins and outs of masturbation – the kids are just going to be left to their own devices.” Dead silence for several seconds, followed by a sputtering disclaimer that the puns were unintentional. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/82 "2008-08-04T21:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=phil417] Our local newscasters do this every summer. They announce that “over 12,000 people in the Genesee County area are without power tonight. If you are among them, Consumers Energy assures you that power will be restored by..” such & such a date. My husband & I laugh. If a household is without power, how are they watching a news program? (pedal-powered TVs? We never thought of that.) [/QUOTE] It never would have even occurred to me to laugh. When the power goes out, we have a UPS (retired from computer service when I bought a bigger one), a generator, a battery-powered radio that picks up the local TV stations, and a notebook computer with a cellphone-based Internet connection that can pick up live TV feeds. Not only that, if I thought I was going to be without power for an extended period, I might go hang out at a friend’s house with power, or a bar in a nearby town with TV. That’s at least six different ways I could be watching (or hearing) that newscast while I’m “one of the people without power.” Edited to add: Make that seven. I have a TV set in my camper trailer. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/83 "2008-08-04T21:34:43Z")
[QUOTE=Skara\_Brae] I could have sworn Tom Brokov said something similar on the Today show coverage as well…“Just like peeling a banana” [/QUOTE] There was some other coverage I watched while looking for the Jennings’ quote that mixed metaphors about the towers “unzipping floor-by-floor like a peeling banana” which I remember for first making me wonder if I has misremembered the comment and second for being too ridiculous in its own right for me to have forgotten it had I seen it. Everyone was repeating everyone else by the end of the day… the “peeling banana” image is apparently very popular with the 9/11-Truthers. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/84 "2008-08-04T23:37:50Z")
Some years ago, a French singer named Carlos died from cancer. It was announced on a radio in the following way : “Popular singer, loved by both kids and grown-up…blah blah blah…, Carlos passed away this morning. We wish him a good last…err…a good…err…good…Good luck!” ---
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/85 "2008-08-05T02:00:12Z")
I once caught a piece about vandalism in a local cemetery, and the reporter said something like, “Bringing further grief to those buried here.” ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/86 "2008-08-05T02:47:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] An extremely stupid headline that had some spoken versions as well was [Shooting victim apologizes to Cheney](http://www.feedsfarm.com/article/2aad25e4bcfceff08eb7245d262a512f82a32fe2.html). [/QUOTE] Why is that stupid? He did apologize to Cheney. > [@Harry Whittington](#): > > My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this week ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/87 "2008-08-05T17:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=CookingWithGas] I saw a video at [Skoopy.com](http://Skoopy.com) a couple of years back of a female anchor saying that an energy company was “planning to jack off…uh, up… the cost of heating your home from 27 to 30 percent.” She never missed a beat, never smiled or laughed. [/QUOTE] Ah my hometown newscast…it was definately the watercooler conversation for the week. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CO0rCzyWskw/hqdefault.jpg "Global Screw Up") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO0rCzyWskw) ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/88 "2008-08-05T19:23:07Z")
[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOc4XgBespw&feature=rec-fresh), which my friend watched in one of his journalism classes, is probably my favorite news blooper of all time. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/89 "2008-08-06T05:02:45Z")
One of the local L.A. anchors, apparently even more removed from the rap scene than I: “The Notorious Big”. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/90 "2008-08-06T17:59:42Z")
[QUOTE=Sunshine and Smiles] [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOc4XgBespw&feature=rec-fresh), which my friend watched in one of his journalism classes, is probably my favorite news blooper of all time. [/QUOTE] That is freaking awesome. You can just sense years of pent up annoyance coming out there. Hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/91 "2008-08-06T18:51:45Z")
The anchor and the reporter are totally going to have a fight at the bike racks after school. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/92 "2008-08-06T19:08:39Z")
[QUOTE=Rhiannon8404] I remember back in 2004, when Jean-Betranded Aristide went into exile. An American reporter described the reaction of white Hatians as well as “African-American” Hatians. She clearly meant black Hatians, or possibly African-Hatians, but was trying to be politically correct. [/QUOTE] Since [del]most if not[/del] all Haitians have African blood, I find this really weird. ---
**Author:** ![cantara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6f9a4e/32.png) [@cantara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cantara)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/93 "2008-08-06T19:43:44Z")
Props to Barbara Walters for this 20/20 tidbit, from early '90s. [News item about a serial killer in Japan whose apartment walls were stacked floor to ceiling with slasher and horror movies] BW: Well, I guess the irony is the VCR came from Japan. [/…and that’s all we have time for…] WHAT?!? ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/94 "2008-08-06T19:57:22Z")
Last night on MSNBC, someone referred to Mary Kate Olsen as an A-List celebrity. I’m there thinking “On what planet?” She’s _maybe_ one step above _Dancing with the Stars_! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2008, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/95 "2008-08-07T23:44:26Z")
[QUOTE=foolsguinea] Since [del]most if not[/del] all Haitians have African blood, I find this really weird. [/QUOTE] At one time, Haiti was a fairly popular retirement destination for white people from the United States and Canada. I’d imagine that the low cost of living and tropical climate are enough to keep some of these folks hanging around (and even a few new ones arriving), even given the country’s seemingly perpetual state of upheaval, Also, according to [this page:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Haiti) > [@](#): > > White-descended Haitians are mainly of French, Polish, Spanish, Italian, and German heritage. Even though the nation’s overwhelmingly black population has undoubtedly led a lot of these descendants of European immigrants to engage in interracial relationships, there might well be a few “racially pure” Caucasian lines hanging on even after several generations in Haiti. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/96 "2008-08-08T03:50:03Z")
But probably not very many African-Americans. Let’s face it: PC has caused a lot of people to automatically use the term African-American rather than black or Negro when referring to people of indigenous sub-Saharan African descent, even if they live in Africa. They mean no harm by it; they’ve just trained themselves into using it so much that they automatically equate African-American with “of sub-Saharan African.” ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/97 "2008-08-08T06:01:14Z")
I once heard a newscaster use the word “uncomfortability”. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/98 "2008-08-08T07:26:40Z")
Print, rather than broadcast, but [CNN.com](http://CNN.com) had a headline this morning reading **“Mega-preacher’s wife sued over loss of faith”**. Sounded like an odd thing to sue someone over, so I read the article. Um, no. She’s being sued over slugging a flight attendant. [http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/08/07/osteen.wife.trial.ap/index.html](http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/08/07/osteen.wife.trial.ap/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/99 "2008-08-08T15:04:00Z")
Where do I start? The one that immediately pops into my head is the CNN Headine News report of James Brown’s funeral during which the overpaid bimbette newsreader AND her himbo partner each repeatedly referred to the horse-drawn hearse as a “carriage”. I’ve mentioned in other threads of this nature the local idiot who always calls the State due north of Illinois West Consin. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/100 "2008-08-08T15:21:03Z")
Just this week! On my local news, they did a teaser\* for a story on the negative impact that exotic plants are having on Yosemite Nat’l Park. The teaser had footage of bears; and the bimbette anchor breathlessly announced: “A new threat to Yosemite…and it \*may not \* be the bears!” Really? Ya think? Anybody with 2 brain cells think that bears are a threat to the park? \*Teasers are always, by definition, stupid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981.md?page=6)