# Stupidest thing you've heard a newscaster say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981 "2008-07-28T21:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/101 "2008-08-08T15:21:57Z")
[QUOTE=zenith] The one that immediately pops into my head is the CNN Headine News report of James Brown’s funeral during which the overpaid bimbette newsreader AND her himbo partner each repeatedly referred to the horse-drawn hearse as a “carriage”. [/QUOTE] Why the outrage over this example? ISTM that the word “carriage” refers to a large category of wheeled vehicles, a subset of which is hearses. [TheFreeDictionary.com](http://TheFreeDictionary.com) says: “1. A wheeled vehicle, especially a four-wheeled horse-drawn passenger vehicle, often of an elegant design.” Thus, although “hearse” might have been more accurate or descriptive, I don’t think “carriage” is flat-out wrong, or particularly stupid. I suspect that, given the rarity of horse-drawn vehicles these days, the newscasters may not have been sure that the word “hearse” properly applied to it, since they may have only seen automotive hearses. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/102 "2008-08-08T15:24:40Z")
Do the inane things the sports commentators say count? I don’t even watch football, but I think I can figure out that “What the \_\_\_\_s really need to do is score some points if they want to win the game.” ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/103 "2008-08-08T16:21:24Z")
[QUOTE=commasense] Why the outrage over this example? ISTM that the word “carriage” refers to a large category of wheeled vehicles, a subset of which is hearses. [TheFreeDictionary.com](http://TheFreeDictionary.com) says: “1. A wheeled vehicle, especially a four-wheeled horse-drawn passenger vehicle, often of an elegant design.” Thus, although “hearse” might have been more accurate or descriptive, I don’t think “carriage” is flat-out wrong, or particularly stupid. I suspect that, given the rarity of horse-drawn vehicles these days, the newscasters may not have been sure that the word “hearse” properly applied to it, since they may have only seen automotive hearses. [/QUOTE] If you wanted to take your SO for a romantic ride through the park and the driver showed up at your door with a vehicle that had a driver’s seat up front and a glassed-sided, velvet-curtained seatless compartment barely taller than a coffin in back, would you go ahead and cram the two of you in there or would you say something to the driver the effect of,“That’s not a carriage. Come back with a real carriage.”? Regardless of what some Internet dictionary says, the vehicle bearing James Brown’s body looked nothing like what you’d see cruising Central Park on any day other than Halloween. Besides, that definition refers primarily to PASSENGER vehicles and one quick look at the vehicle would tell any reasonably intelligent person that it’s meant for some sort of freight. The very first time I saw a horse-drawn hearse, as a small boy who conned the babysitter into letting me stay up til 10:30 watch some awful Dracula knockoff, I knew it was an old-fashioned version of the Cadillac “funeral cars” I’d seen in funeral processions. My little-kid brain didn’t say “carriage”; it said “old-fashioned funeral car”. Are you really excusing highly-paid college-educated ( not degreed in any real subject like English, Math, Medicine, or one of the Sciences, but some made-up subject called “communications” or “telecommunications”; but degreed nonetheless)people for not knowing a purpose-built vehicle that can be instantly identified by any kindergartner as a" funeral car" and not a “carriage”? ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/104 "2008-08-08T16:27:34Z")
Whatever. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/105 "2008-08-08T17:19:21Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] Do the inane things the sports commentators say count? /QUOTE] We gotta draw the line somewhere. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/106 "2008-08-08T21:20:53Z")
When I lived in San Diego, which has some of the best weather on earth, the news was obsessed with any weather events that were slightly outside of the norm. One day there was a hint of humidity (14% or something that Mid Westerners and East Coasters would snirk at) and the news anchor said “well, we’ve got some humidity in the forecast, so be careful out there!” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/107 "2008-08-08T21:26:59Z")
[QUOTE=Oy!] Last night on MSNBC, someone referred to Mary Kate Olsen as an A-List celebrity. [/QUOTE] Maybe the person who said this had recently read _The Scarlet Letter_. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/108 "2008-08-08T21:35:14Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] Maybe the person who said this had recently read _The Scarlet Letter_. [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/109 "2008-08-09T00:00:23Z")
[QUOTE=zenith] If you wanted to take your SO for a romantic ride through the park and the driver showed up at your door with a vehicle that had a driver’s seat up front and a glassed-sided, velvet-curtained seatless compartment barely taller than a coffin in back, would you go ahead and cram the two of you in there or would you say something to the driver the effect of,“That’s not a carriage. Come back with a real carriage.”? [/QUOTE] Actually, the type of carriages used by vendors of such rides in the park are a very small subset of horse-drawn carriages. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/110 "2008-08-09T01:47:53Z")
I heard an announcer on CNN refer to Mandarin as an “obscure language”. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/111 "2008-08-09T16:18:11Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] I heard an announcer on CNN refer to Mandarin as an “obscure language”. [/QUOTE] Now THAT qualifies as world-class ignorance! ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/112 "2008-08-09T20:46:10Z")
In 2004 when my city had already been ground zero for Hurricane Charlies and Frances, Jeannie was on its way. The guy stood on main street in my town (south of Orlando) and said " HOPEFULLY, I am standing at the place where Jeanne will go through in a couple of hours making this the place where all three hurricanes would have collided" He made an X gesture with his finger. After my sister had lost her house and my family was living in a Disney hotel hoping to find someone to fix our roof to stop it from raining in my livingroom. I was HOPING it was not. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/113 "2008-08-10T00:40:05Z")
Well, the Google Ad for this page is a hopelessly squished and stretched picture of what I THINK is a horse and a carriage. In case anybody was unclear. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/114 "2008-08-10T16:32:42Z")
This isn’t a malapropism or misstatement, but… the stupidest network anchor ever was definitely Peter Jennings (ironic, that a dim high school dropout was so fond of posing as a sophisticate). And his greatest moment of stupidity? He carried on a lengthy on-air interview with a Howard Stern fan doing a bad “Amos & Andy” black accent, while O.J. Simpson was fleeing in his white Bronco. Even when the prank caller signed off with “Bababooey to y’all” Jennings still had no idea he’d been had. Al Michaels had to gently tell Peter that he’d just been scammed in front of an audience of millions. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/115 "2008-08-10T17:27:20Z")
I don’t think it would have been a TV anchor’s place to inform a caller/interviewee that he was faking an accent, especially if it turned out that the caller/interviewee wasn’t faking it. Sometimes the most unlikely sounding accents are real. Peter Jennings was not an idiot, whether or not he was fooled on this occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/116 "2008-08-10T17:33:52Z")
Not exactly a newscaster story, but… Here in Houston, many moons ago, we had a live afternoon kiddie show called Kitirik’s Klubhouse. Pretty girl dressed in a black cat leotard (RAWR!), cartoons, games, the usual kiddie show stuff. They also had the birthday lineup, where any kid having a birthday that day got to come up, say their name and say hi to mom and dad. You gotta love the mixture of live TV and kids. One day they were doing birthdays and one kid gets up and says, “I want to say hi to Mommy and hi to Daddy and hi to my brother Bobby and THIS TO BILLY!” and proceeds to shoot Billy the finger with both hands. Fast cut to commercial. Another day, she’s in the audience asking random kids their names and this one kid is laughing his ass off. She makes the mistake of picking him and sticking the mike in his face and saying something to the effect of what’s so funny. The kid says, “Leon farted and it stinks!” Quick cut to commercial. Later on in the show, they are doing the birthday line and a kid comes up and says, “I’m Leon. I’m the one that farted!” Ah, good times, good times. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/117 "2008-08-11T00:23:10Z")
April 1, 2005. I was watching the local news on WPTV (the local NBC station). The anchors apologized to the audience at the end of the newscast for the poor coverage. Between the death of Terri Schiavo the day before and Pope John Paul II being on his deathbed, they just didn’t have time to discuss the previous night’s episode of _The Apprentice_. :smack: That’s when I stopped watching the local news. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/118 "2008-08-11T00:35:22Z")
[QUOTE=ladybug] April 1, 2005. I was watching the local news on WPTV (the local NBC station). The anchors apologized to the audience at the end of the newscast for the poor coverage. Between the death of Terri Schiavo the day before and Pope John Paul II being on his deathbed, they just didn’t have time to discuss the previous night’s episode of _The Apprentice_. :smack: That’s when I stopped watching the local news. [/QUOTE] Are you sure that wasn’t because it was April 1st? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/119 "2008-08-11T20:08:48Z")
[QUOTE=Oy!] I don’t think it would have been a TV anchor’s place to inform a caller/interviewee that he was faking an accent, especially if it turned out that the caller/interviewee wasn’t faking it. Sometimes the most unlikely sounding accents are real. Peter Jennings was not an idiot, whether or not he was fooled on this occasion. [/QUOTE] When someone claims to live in OJ Simpson’s exclusive Brentwood neighborhood, yet uses phrases like “Oh my Lordy” and “Lookie here”, you’ve got to be an idiot not to figure out he’s faking it. Here’s a [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP8TwjRMdS0) of the interview in question. Sound quality isn’t very good, but you get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981/120 "2008-08-11T20:30:28Z")
It never would have occurred to me it was a fake. I thought he said something about sitting or hiding in the back of a news van (obviously he didn’t sound like a reporter) - I didn’t hear him claim to live in the neighborhood, but even if he did, you never heard of _nouveau riche_? It doesn’t matter if you think it’s stupid or naive. I’m telling you right here and now that I am a reasonably intelligent, well-educated person with a degree in psychology yet, and that it never would have crossed my mind that that person was scamming Peter Jennings, so this is hardly proof that Peter Jennings is himself stupid. Just because an accent sounds fake to you doesn’t mean it actually is fake. It may be, but some of the unlikeliest sounding accents can actually be real, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to run the tiniest risk of a multi-million dollar lawsuit by accusing someone of faking an accent on national TV. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-thing-youve-heard-a-newscaster-say/457981.md?page=7)