# Stupidest things you've ever said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321 "2011-04-22T03:33:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/1 "2011-04-22T03:33:25Z")
Just as a laugh, what are the dumbest things that you’ve ever honestly said? No misspeakings or transposing of words or bad jokes, but cases where you said exactly what you wanted to say and it made perfect sense to you and you couldn’t understand why people were giving you a strange look. My biggest two. Asking the girlfriend who is an animal expert, “In wolf packs, does the alpha male build the campfire that they all howl around?” Walking at night through Cripple Creek (known for the native mule population) I was chivalrous and offered to walk on the inside in case “a mule comes out of the alley and tries to throw a jar of acid in your face.” ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/2 "2011-04-22T04:23:53Z")
“I Do.” ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/3 "2011-04-22T04:31:06Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > “I Do.” Ouch, though mine’s close: “I love you.” ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/4 "2011-04-22T05:32:10Z")
If we’re on that train of thought now, I can go with “I need to go wash my hands.” No context provided, just let me assure you it was a really stupid thing to say at the time. ---
**Author:** ![TNWPsycho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/47e85d/32.png) [@TNWPsycho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TNWPsycho)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/5 "2011-04-22T05:34:14Z")
Today at work i was talking to a co-worker about the band Tool “Yeah, it was that song on Opiate, maybe 10,000 Days, not sure…i dont really know my tool that well” ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/6 "2011-04-22T08:27:21Z")
I was dating my eventual wife and called her another woman’s name. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/7 "2011-04-22T08:35:33Z")
My professor walked into a room where we were all hard doing research and made a serious comment about Ted Bundy (the serial killer). I looked up and said “Oh, I love Married with Children!”. It took me a minute to figure out we weren’t talking about Al Bundy and she didn’t like the show either. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/8 "2011-04-22T10:33:16Z")
I was just shy of turning 18, and having a discussion that was far, far above my level of sophistication. The other party to the conversation was trying to recall the name of a particular (very chi-chi) wine, and I offered up “chateaubriand.” (Of course, I meant Chateau Lafitte, but I totally didn’t catch my error. The other party did, and laughed and laughed and laughed. I was mortified, because I thought I was so much more worldly at the time than I really was - probably, the only brand of wine I’d tried at that point in my life was Mogan David!) Also? “I do,” the first time. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/9 "2011-04-22T14:09:28Z")
When I was 21 my girlfriend and I double dated to the lake with a younger couple. The other girl was 16 but had the figure of a woman 10 years her senior. My girlfriend saw the other girl in a swimsuit and said, “I sure wish I looked like that when I was 16.” I replied (without thinking, obviously), “Hell, I wish you looked like that now!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/10 "2011-04-22T14:25:19Z")
One time back in high school, I called my friend Sam. Usually her mom would answer the phone, so I had my mind all geared up to say “Hi, is Sam there?” So when Sam answered the phone, it caught me off guard and I ended up saying “Hi, are you there?” ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/11 "2011-04-22T15:20:26Z")
Nobody who was there has ever let me forget the time that I fell immediately upon stepping onto the ice at a skating rink and said “The ice is too slippery.” That happened three decades ago and someone brought it up again just last year. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/12 "2011-04-22T15:21:27Z")
I was trying to get a friend to sign a petition and she was very hesitant. I blurted out “C’mon. It’s not like we’re asking for your first born son.” THEN I remember her first born son was the victim of a murder suicide by his father.:eek::smack::o She turned around, walked out, and never mentioned it to me again. Now that is classs. ---
**Author:** ![Soliloquy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Soliloquy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soliloquy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/13 "2011-04-22T16:22:20Z")
I called my mom at home and asked her if she’d left yet, when she was supposed to be meeting me somewhere. I made a comment about having friends that know how to make CO2, meaning C4… I have never, never lived that down. It was years and years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Soliloquy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Soliloquy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soliloquy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/14 "2011-04-22T16:24:52Z")
I’ll add this on a separate post, because it’s not amusing and funny like the other two I posted, but I’m over it now, so I can post it without angst. Stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me, less than a month after returning to work after miscarrying my twin daughter at 15 weeks then holding her twin brother (born at 23 weeks) as he died at 10 weeks old, which my co-worker was well aware of: “I’m not feeling well. I think I’m gonna call in with a miscarriage tomorrow.” ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/15 "2011-04-22T17:06:44Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > I was just shy of turning 18, and having a discussion that was far, far above my level of sophistication. The other party to the conversation was trying to recall the name of a particular (very chi-chi) wine, and I offered up “chateaubriand.” (Of course, I meant Chateau Lafitte, but I totally didn’t catch my error. The other party did, and laughed and laughed and laughed. I was mortified, because I thought I was so much more worldly at the time than I really was - probably, the only brand of wine I’d tried at that point in my life was Mogan David!) Same for me only it was Beaujolais and Baudelaire and the person was actually French. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/16 "2011-04-22T17:52:56Z")
The Chicago dopers among us are already well aware that Cubs baseball in the Windy City isn’t a sport: it’s a way of life. I spent some of my formative years in Chicago, where my parents were both natives and major baseball fanatics. They were veterans of many a home game, and if it was broadcast that particular day and they couldn’t go, they either listened to it on the radio or watched it. I recall one particular game was the victim of rather a lot of rainfall. I don’t recall if it was at home or away. Because of the rest of the story, I suspect it was away, as you’ll see why. The announcers had been kept hopping trying to fill the time while the crews frantically tried to dry out the field enough for the game to continue. During one of these endless time-fillers, somebody mentioned that TPTB were considering bringing in helicopters to help speed things up. At which point I piped up (having apparently disengaged my brain from my mouth some time ago) and asked, ‘but wouldn’t it be faster to dry out the field if they flew upside down with their blades closer to the grass?’:smack::smack::smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/17 "2011-04-22T17:56:07Z")
“Sure we can be friends.” ---
**Author:** ![CCYMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@CCYMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCYMan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/18 "2011-04-22T18:58:32Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > My professor walked into a room where we were all hard doing research Wow, you guys REALLY get excited about your research! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/19 "2011-04-22T19:15:33Z")
Very many things, probably. On this board, a question in a thread about sexual positions that revealed my extensive ignorance of anatomy (at least, of how one anatomy fits into another anatomy). Runner up was a thread I started about an interesting mathematical pattern I’d discovered… which didn’t hold up when examined by people who actully know math. According to my brother, the stupidest thing I’ve ever said to him was “Wait, video games have plots?” ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321/20 "2011-04-22T19:33:31Z")
During a meeting with our marketing department, I once asked if we needed to send a self-addressed stamped envelope with a mailing we were sending out. It was a customer satisfaction survey and we wanted to make sure we got a good response rate. The survey was also being sent electronically. :smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidest-things-youve-ever-said/579321.md?page=2)