# Stupidity you have heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2014, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761 "2014-08-04T05:07:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/221 "2014-08-11T19:47:11Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > and of course, you know everyone in Canada, right?) The correct way to phrase that is “you know everyone in Canada, ay?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/222 "2014-08-11T19:53:41Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > The correct way to phrase that is “you know everyone in Canada, ay?” 😃 Spelling it “ay” is a dead giveaway that you’re American. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/223 "2014-08-11T19:54:10Z")
“eh”, not “ay” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/224 "2014-08-12T03:09:00Z")
I’ve had people say to me “You’re Jewish? Do you know [Insert So-and-So Jewish-name here]?” They may live in a state I’ve never been to. I made the mistake of joking once that yeah, I’d say “Hi” to him at the next world domination meeting. I will never do that again. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/225 "2014-08-12T03:15:19Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I’ve had people say to me “You’re Jewish? Do you know [Insert So-and-So Jewish-name here]?” They may live in a state I’ve never been to. I made the mistake of joking once that yeah, I’d say “Hi” to him at the next world domination meeting. I will never do that again. I once got “You’re Jewish? So if I gave you twenty bucks, would you eat a ham sandwich?”. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/226 "2014-08-12T04:44:10Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > I once got “You’re Jewish? So if I gave you twenty bucks, would you eat a ham sandwich?”. Has anyone ever asked you if you still sacrifice animals in the synagogues? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/227 "2014-08-12T09:27:47Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > I once got “You’re Jewish? So if I gave you twenty bucks, would you eat a ham sandwich?”. “I’m Reform, but twenty dollars is twenty dollars.” (I love repurposing old punchlines.) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/228 "2014-08-13T00:18:37Z")
> [@codgerone](#): > > Teenage girls on a train today. “OMG I feel such a connection with so and so. It’s amazing how often I think of him/her and then minutes later I get a text!!!. It’s like we have this totally incredible psychic connection!!!” > > I just wanted to lean over and say “look up confirmation bias you daft cow.” > > And meanwhile STFU. > > Yes I’m a grumpy old git. This reminds me of years ago when I was flying in to New York City at night - beautiful view. Two British girls in front of me were chattering excitedly, apparently having never been there. ‘‘I love New York. It’s so much better than London. London has homeless people.’’ ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/229 "2014-08-13T03:11:22Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > “I’m Reform, but twenty dollars is twenty dollars.” > > (I love repurposing old punchlines.) Get the money first. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/230 "2014-08-13T03:22:43Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Has anyone ever asked you if you still sacrifice animals in the synagogues? I know someone who was asked where her horns were… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/231 "2014-08-13T05:35:12Z")
UPA used to make humorous live-action “cartoons” with voices dubbed in and animals apparently speaking, via animation. In one snippet was a ram, and the voice-over said, “too bad those horns aren’t the kind he can blow and make music with!” The ram said, “If I did I’d blow my brains out!” ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/232 "2014-08-13T18:50:37Z")
I had forgotten this… Many years ago I was given a beautiful solid black German Shepherd female… The reason? She had a litter of puppies by a Cocker Spainel and therefore was not a purebred anymore:eek::smack: Yep,grabbed her and ran. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/233 "2014-08-13T19:23:04Z")
I have this running fight with my local McDonalds. My wife will send me there quite often to get her a sammich. At the drive up, an order often goes something like this: “Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?” “I’d like a double cheeseburger with onions only. That will be all.” “Would you also like cheese on that?” “I ORDERED A DAMNED CHEESEBURGER, YOU do the math.” :mad::mad::mad: ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/234 "2014-08-15T20:14:39Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > “eh”, not “ay” Unless The Fonz moves to Canada 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/235 "2014-08-15T20:32:12Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > “I ORDERED A DAMNED CHEESEBURGER, YOU do the math.” :mad::mad::mad: Sorry, but the cashier gets the slack. It’s far better to clarify upfront than risk handing someone a a cheeseburger with cheese on it when they plainly said ‘only onions’. I understand that you personally are a reasonable and logical person but that makes you a rare and special person in the world of food service customers and that poor cashier only asks because they have been burned many times before. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/236 "2014-08-15T20:44:11Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I have this running fight with my local McDonalds. My wife will send me there quite often to get her a sammich. At the drive up, an order often goes something like this: > > “Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?” > > “I’d like a double cheeseburger with onions only. That will be all.” > > “Would you also like cheese on that?” > > “I ORDERED A DAMNED CHEESEBURGER, YOU do the math.” :mad::mad::mad: My ex also ate special-order cheeseburgers from McDonald’s, well she probably still does but I don’t order them. Anyway, I’d order a cheeseburger with lettuce and onions only. Occasionally she’d get one with no cheese. Once she got one with the cheese, but no meat. Once I started saying “onions, lettuce and cheese only” she never had a issue again. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/237 "2014-08-15T20:56:48Z")
On the latest trip to Super Supplements for some vitamins, I overheard a couple in the homeopathic section arguing over how much money they should be spending on the relative “strengths” to help heal the guy’s sprained ankle. He said he really needed the “higher concentration” because it was taking too long to heal. One of the employees, to her immeasurable credit, also was eavesdropping and suddenly made herself scarce in the backroom when the couple said “Well, maybe we should ask someone…” I wouldn’t be able to work 5 minutes in that place without going full-on sledgehammer wrath of Og on that display aisle. ---
**Author:** ![Unpronounceable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9de0a6/32.png) [@Unpronounceable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unpronounceable)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/238 "2014-08-15T21:52:35Z")
I once heard a fratboy exclaim “Damn, it’s hot! It must be, like, 100 degrees Kelvin today!” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/239 "2014-08-15T22:10:09Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > On the latest trip to Super Supplements for some vitamins, I overheard a couple in the homeopathic section arguing over how much money they should be spending on the relative “strengths” to help heal the guy’s sprained ankle. He said he really needed the “higher concentration” because it was taking too long to heal. > > One of the employees, to her immeasurable credit, also was eavesdropping and suddenly made herself scarce in the backroom when the couple said “Well, maybe we should ask someone…” > > I wouldn’t be able to work 5 minutes in that place without going full-on sledgehammer wrath of Og on that display aisle. Oh, naturally. The right thing to do when anticipating a question you don’t like is to run and hide; maybe they’ll go away.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761/240 "2014-08-15T22:39:17Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Oh, naturally. The right thing to do when anticipating a question you don’t like is to run and hide; maybe they’ll go away.:rolleyes: I don’t think that’s the situation. The choices are: 1. Lie to the customer 2. Tell the customer the truth and, if overheard by your employer, lose your job (edit: as well getting into needless conflict with the customers, who sound like True Believers) 3. Avoid the issue Options 1 and 2 are untenable for different reasons. I think 3 was a good choice in this case. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupidity-you-have-heard/694761.md?page=13)