# Substance Abuse...In Chess?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 11, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818 "2001-08-11T17:35:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/21 "2001-08-12T06:56:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fugazi \* > \*\* > Full Contact Chess! \*\* …or take that a little furthur and have full sized battle chess. Same idea as the computer version, except you have people dressed up in armor on a giant board. The pawns have less armor than the better pieces, but theres still no certainty that “taking” an oppositions piece (aka moving into their square) will guarentee that person being kicked off the board. They have to fight to the death to decide… ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/22 "2001-08-12T07:48:56Z")
Olympic D&D, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![starfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@starfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starfish)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/23 "2001-08-12T07:49:09Z")
The Olympics, like other sports, is not about “sports” but about money. Any game, sport or activity that draws a world wide paying audience will be considered. And by paying they mean US TV stations paying to broadcast the event. OK, at this time, no sexual activities, those can’t be shown on US broadcast TV. Chess is out unless played by 13 year old girls in tight costumes, right Robgruver. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/24 "2001-08-12T08:11:41Z")
It makes as much sense as video weight-lifting. Which exists, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/25 "2001-08-12T23:09:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > It’s official: The world is mad–barking, yowling, parrot-raping, howling-at-the-moon, glossalalia-spewing BATSHIT. Veb, my respect for you just soared to unheard-of heights. May I use this in conversation from time to time? **Wump** : Been there, done that–bishop in a battle chess match at a Faire. We did combat to first touch for possession of contested positions (with foam weapons) rather than fight to the death, but I’d still call it a sport of sorts. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/26 "2001-08-12T23:34:27Z")
Okay, I can settle this pretty easily: I cannot, in any sense of the word, in this reality or any other, in any possible way be considered an athlete. I play chess. Therefore, chess is not a sport. Q.E.D. Alternative explanation: Any sport that Stephen Hawking can play is by definition not a sport. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/27 "2001-08-12T23:56:05Z")
I’ve heard of a variant called run-around-the-house chess. After you make your move, you run around the house. Your opponent has to make his move before you get back to your seat, otherwise he loses. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/28 "2001-08-14T05:26:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > **Darts and billiards are sports. I 100% support the inclusion of billiards at the Olympics; to my mind it’s a slam-dunk decision. It’s a sport played throughout the world with an international federation that determines rules and requirements for participation - the basic requirements for an Olympic event. Darts I don’t know enough about, in terms of the international scope of the sport.** Isn’t there already a billiards tournament? And I think there’s one for darts, in the UK. ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/29 "2001-08-14T07:09:59Z")
How about olympic monopoly? It think the philosophies of both are rather similar. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818/30 "2001-08-14T12:15:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ell \* > \*\*How about olympic monopoly? It think the philosophies of both are rather similar. \*\* Except there’s no element of chance in chess… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/substance-abuse-in-chess/75818.md?page=1)