# Subvert a Saying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978 "2011-11-24T16:10:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/41 "2011-11-29T14:54:28Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > I pitied myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. (I can’t claim credit for this one, though I don’t remember where I heard it.) Jack Handy. One I thought of yesterday: “When all you have is a stick, everything looks like a pinata.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/42 "2011-11-29T19:16:43Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > \ > The grass is always greener near improperly-stored explosives. The grass is also greener over the septic tank. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/43 "2011-11-29T20:21:42Z")
My fave: If at first you don’t succeed, so much for skydiving! Don’t lick a gift horse in the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/44 "2011-11-29T22:18:25Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Jack Handy. > > One I thought of yesterday: > “When all you have is a stick, everything looks like a pinata.” (I’m stealing this.) ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/45 "2011-11-30T12:36:50Z")
WOMEN ! You can’t live WITH them. And you can’t kill’em. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/46 "2011-11-30T16:14:01Z")
\*A bird in the hand beats an albatross around the neck. An Englishman’s home is rarely a castle, unless they are a rock star. Don’t count your chickens, they often end up as roadkill. A fate worse than a fate worse than death.\* ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/47 "2011-11-30T16:28:45Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > WOMEN ! > > You can’t live WITH them. > > And you can’t kill’em. Wasn’t the **Cheers** version: Women! You can live with them. Pass the beer nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/48 "2011-12-01T04:57:44Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > It’s not the heat; it’s the stupidity. > > I pitied myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. (I can’t claim credit for this one, though I don’t remember where I heard it.) > > An apple a day really doesn’t make that much difference in your overall health, unless you also cut out the junk food, quit eating so much cholesterol, and get some exercise for once, you fat pig. > > A rolling stone gathers no moths. > > Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–I took the one less traveled by. It made no difference whatsoever. I was still late. Traffic was terrible. What’s the bad deal against cholestrol? (This may be more for Cafe Society.) 1. It fills you up. 2. It tastes good. I do not want to be laying on my death bed at 90 years old thinking, “I haven’t had hot buttered popcorn in forty years.” Want to add something appropos/witty here to the OP but all I’m coming up with are the befores, and no afters. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/49 "2011-12-01T15:17:58Z")
The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Si ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/50 "2011-12-01T15:24:29Z")
She’s a brick shy of a picnic. (Honest t’gods, a former boss of mine said this and could not figure out why the rest of us were just about wetting ourselves laughing) ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/51 "2011-12-01T16:56:01Z")
An eye for an eye leaves the world listening. When you gaze long into the abyss, spit. Those who fail to learn from History are doomed to become English majors. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/52 "2011-12-01T17:11:28Z")
It’s not the heat… it’s the stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/53 "2011-12-01T17:22:02Z")
I’m rubber, you are glue, whatever you say is tacky. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978/54 "2011-12-06T18:56:27Z")
Good neighbors make good fences. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/subvert-a-saying/603978.md?page=2)