# Suck it down, you drunken bitch! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791 "2005-03-10T05:01:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/41 "2005-03-10T14:01:57Z")
I liked this rant better than “Cats.” I’m going to read it again & again… I hope she stays away and doesn’t manage to fuck up your life in any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/42 "2005-03-10T14:03:17Z")
Duuuude. Wow. Hope the kids end up OK. The boy who was brought up in the worst home I know of ended up being the most caring, responsible, and loving man. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/43 "2005-03-10T14:04:45Z")
“Loud clapping, standing on my chair and cheering” Absofuckinglutely amazing. Gonzo dies and the mext master takes the reins. We are all not worthy. But seriously, I lost a class ring once after a drunken shameful night with someone that sounds like this. Any chance that…oh fuck it, who needs it now? ---
**Author:** ![MizQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@MizQuirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizQuirk)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/44 "2005-03-10T14:06:05Z")
Yeahbut … what’s that thing they say … something about “he doth protest too much”? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/45 "2005-03-10T14:12:53Z")
Thas is truly amazing! I can’t believe she only has two DUI’s, is still alive, was allowed to reproduce, and that **you** ever dated her. No, really, the best rant I’ve ever read. So much well placed, well worded, and deserving vitriol. I would give it a perfect 10 except you Fucked up the coding around _War and Peace_. 9.99. If a Mod comes by later to repair the code I shall upgrade the score. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/46 "2005-03-10T14:13:32Z")
I laughed. I cried. I did a funky little victory dance in your honor. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/47 "2005-03-10T14:19:40Z")
I’ve had divorce/custody clients who have had to deal with spouses like that, and many of them have said that they are unable to find the words ot express how they feel. If they read your thread, I expect that many of them would be moved. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/48 "2005-03-10T14:23:30Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > Your ex and my ex must have sat next to each other and compared notes in _How to be a Bitch-Spawn from Hell_ class. > > Seems as if yours threw off the grading-curve, though. > > Yeesh!! Yes, the worst thing that an Ex did to me was to rip a wooden crucifix off the wall and throw it at me. As I was leaving the apartment. Put a big fuckin’ dent in the metal 3/4 hour fire rated door. Oh, and another one slept with my roommate, but that wouldn’t have _physically_ hurt me. Sometimes the emotional pain is worse than any physical pain. Shit, I got nothin’ on the OP. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/49 "2005-03-10T14:31:38Z")
Wow. Words fail me. > [@belladonna](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks this guy’s spent maybe a _little_ too much time imagining his ex’s sex life? The thing of it is, from my reading of the OP, he’s not really imagining much - simply extrapolating from known data. A slight, but vital, difference. :rolleyes: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/50 "2005-03-10T14:43:48Z")
I expect this is one of the top five Pit rants of all time, right up there with **Cervaise’s** famous telemarketer rant. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/51 "2005-03-10T14:44:16Z")
Whoo. Dude, all that anger is hurting you, not her. Erase her from your mind. On a somewhat related note, I saw yesterday on tv, a woman was driving drunk and hit a young mother in her car, injuring her hip forever. She had had 12 DUI’s before that and was still driving. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Cooper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Agent\_Cooper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Cooper)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/52 "2005-03-10T14:49:55Z")
_bow_ Brilliant. Best Pitting Ever. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/53 "2005-03-10T16:37:25Z")
Don’t hold back now - you should tell us how you really feel about her. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dubious_Sacrifice)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/54 "2005-03-10T16:42:39Z")
Great rant! I little too much emphasis on her sexual affairs, however. It kinda makes it appear that you are jealous, in some sick, twisted way, and that you still harbor some feelings for her. I would like to have seen more of your excellent ranting ability being directed at some of those other ‘little things’. You know, like falsifying police reports, lying to your CEO, identity theft attempts, property damage, etc. Still, very well done! 9/10 ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/55 "2005-03-10T16:44:31Z")
Great (?) rant…your descriptiveness makes me wanna barf, though…She sounds like a real piece of work. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/56 "2005-03-10T16:48:33Z")
That rant must _almost_ have been worth the years of pain you had to endure to produce it. 10 out of 10, bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/57 "2005-03-10T17:05:22Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Wow. You should perform the coup de grace by printing this out and giving it to her to read. If she can, I mean. Sounds like her eyes are floating most of the time. I disagree. **Euthanasiast** , I suggest you re-instate the restraining order, block whatever number it is she called you from, and try to find out if there is anything you can do for her daughters, if for no other reason than to do what you can to prevent them from following in her footsteps(as children of alcoholics often do). She took two and a half years of your life, and far more from her children. Perhaps some miracle will occur and she will change, and again be the beautiful woman you once loved(and in some degree probably still do, as rants like this are typically fueled by equal amounts of love and hate) but that ship has sailed. You have a new life, a new family, and while there is probably room in your lifeboat to take on board the daughters, you should set course and speed as far and fast as possible away from the sinking Titanic lest it take you down with it. Going back to piss in the whirlpool just risks you being sucked under. Stay the course, save what you can, but don’t go back, for any reason. Good luck, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/58 "2005-03-10T17:15:28Z")
Hey, can I get her phone number? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/59 "2005-03-10T17:26:44Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Hey, can I get her phone number? Why, are you missing a class ring or a half pack of Rolos? Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![ElectricZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58f4c7/32.png) [@ElectricZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElectricZ)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/60 "2005-03-10T17:53:02Z")
I’m not a big fan of drive-by postings, but SNAP! Two times! I think anybody who ever feels bad about having been pitted can come back here and read that post to see just how easily they got off. Anybody who gets slammed that bad in the future should get a special T-shirt that reads, “I got Euthanized.” What’s more it sounds like the ho deserved every last syllable. Condolences for having to lived the adventure, kudos for creating a one-page encylopedia of insult in her honor! EZ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791.md?page=4)