# Suck it down, you drunken bitch! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791 "2005-03-10T05:01:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/101 "2005-03-13T02:53:15Z")
> [@Maxxxie](#): > > There’s always a party-pooper [sic], isn’t there? Ah, shit. I accidentally had an opinion again. And I went and posted it in the pit. I’m a fucking degenerate. Warmest apologies for not cumming all over the OP. Party on. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/102 "2005-03-14T01:54:15Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > She didn’t … play a Celine Dion song on it, did she? As bad as that would have been (an admittedly that would have been horrific), at least I could have sent it to therapy and hopefully regained some of its life back. No, she put it on my gas grill, dumped BBQ sauce all over it… ::shudder:: Sorry. Just. Too. Painful. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/103 "2005-03-14T02:30:25Z")
Ack! If somebody had done that to my bass, he would have gotten killed by… “accident”. Yeah, accident. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/104 "2005-03-14T02:34:50Z")
> [@DarkSideoftheFloyd](#): > > Ack! If somebody had done that to my bass, he would have gotten killed by… “accident”. Yeah, accident. “Allow me to introduce you to Accident, my Great Dane/Pitbull cross.” ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/105 "2005-03-14T03:32:51Z")
Maybe you should try seeing her side of it. Maybe it was all a silly mistake. You’ll both look back and laugh one day. 😉 Seriously, the only rant I’ve seen that even comes close to this one was Dick D’s psycho girlfriend rant on Consumption Junction (she tried to run him over… just for starters). And this one wins. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/106 "2005-03-14T05:05:47Z")
I’m just amazed that didn’t ignite my monitor! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/107 "2005-03-14T05:20:18Z")
\*\*Euthanasiast \*\*, you truely have a way with words that I can only hope to mimick like a mangy parrot someday. How do you do it? Did you go to school for this kind of thing? Are you a writer? There’s no way you’re new to this… ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/108 "2005-03-14T05:27:44Z")
Great rant, but I am confused as to your relationship with the woman, is this your sister? ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/109 "2005-03-14T05:41:48Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > Great rant, but I am confused as to your relationship with the woman, is this your sister? Gak! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/110 "2005-03-14T05:51:12Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > Great rant, but I am confused as to your relationship with the woman, is this your sister? Sorry, I had to go scrape my frontal lobes with a railroad spike. I can see after reading back over the OP that I wasn’t entirely clear about her in that respect. Ex-girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/111 "2005-03-14T05:54:22Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > The sad part is that if I had only measured myself a little better and taken more time to let it all come flowing out instead of posting immediately in an hour long key-banging frenzy, I could have gone into greater detail regarding all of the horrible things she put me through during the breakup: > > \*How she was successful in getting me locked up in the county for a single night, and the hilarity (well, I say hilarity _ **now** _) that transpired. How my only night ever served in jail changed me as a human being and how it ended up getting her in trouble for reporting a false claim. This could really be its own thread. > > \*About the lesson I learned when splitting up with someone already over the edge. Never, ever let a woman like that _know_ that you’re leaving until you’re already gone! > > \*The crescendo of embarrassment that finally caused me to leave when she showed up drunk for _breakfast_ at Shoney’s at 6:30 in the morning with my coworkers in attendance. > > \*what she did to my custom '62 Strat that would have made Pete Townsend cringe. > > The list goes on and on… > > I suspect this might have put this pit into low orbit. > > Ah, memories. I would really like to hear these stories. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/112 "2005-03-14T12:23:21Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > Are you a writer? Guilty as charged, your honor, but not of this ‘genre’. Thank you, for the compliments. Euth ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/113 "2005-03-14T22:29:47Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > As bad as that would have been (an admittedly that would have been horrific), at least I could have sent it to therapy and hopefully regained some of its life back. _ **No, she put it on my gas grill, dumped BBQ sauce all over it…** _ > > ::shudder:: > > Sorry. Just. Too. Painful. ☹ 😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😕 :eek: Whut Da FUCK ?!? :eek: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Stuart\_Gardner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Stuart\_Gardner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuart_Gardner)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/114 "2005-04-16T04:43:07Z")
I can tell there’s been a little friction, but I say forgive and forget. This woman sounds as though she needs help. Since you’re married now there’s probably not room in the house for her, but I’m sure your wife would support you in your efforts to help get your ex-girlfriend back on her feet. Right? ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/115 "2005-04-16T05:18:39Z")
I am extremely impressed. Only someone who cared deeply could hate with such enthusiam!! ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/116 "2005-04-16T05:42:33Z")
I am tempted to go out and buy a hat just so I can take it off to you. There are rants, _rants_ and RANTS. This…is a R_A_N\*T. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/117 "2005-04-16T06:18:56Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > How many countless men with no names ground pounded your asshole until it resembled a butter churn? Well I wasn’t one, that’s for damn sure. [sub]And since my confidence with the ladies _is_ pretty low right now, couldja send along that phone number? Thanks.[/Sub] ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/118 "2005-04-16T13:40:30Z")
How are her daughters? Are they away from her? As much as I would like to see future confrontations between you and this hellbitch, I think for your future sanity you should screen your calls and contact the DA if she continues harassing you. Now, as to the details of how she almost got you fired and embarrassed you in front of your co-workers, in the immortal words of Frasier Crane: I’m listening. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/119 "2005-04-16T14:17:44Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > …sorry for your pain, but I still feel sorry for her. She’s obviously lost to the clutches of the demon spirits. Here’s to better days for all. Thats’ where I’m at with this. Her brain is clearly broken if the OP is even merely a parody of the truth. In that light, the only real course of action becomes clear–lock her up in a maximum security rehab facility til she dries out and then see what it’s gonna take to fix her. OP says he’s got it all in his past–I don’t think so. He’s been tossed on the grenade and got to experience her departure first hand–he’ll never get over that. You can’t watch a total stranger go there and ever be the same, let alone someone you love. I like being human because it means I get to impose a lot of emotions on what is really a hard indifferent universe. Love makes things so much more rich, but then equal measures of pain become possible. That said, rather an effective piece of writing. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791/120 "2005-04-16T14:44:36Z")
You guys rate this a 10 out of 10? No way, this one goes to 11. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-it-down-you-drunken-bitch/293791.md?page=7)