# Suck my ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 1999, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253 "1999-12-02T14:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/1 "1999-12-02T14:14:00Z")
I’m posting this topic for two reasons: 1. I love the phrase “Suck my ass!” 2. People have been insulting me in subtle ways lately. In the last two days I’ve had four people point these insults out to me. “Man, Canthearya, I thought that was pretty rough. That didn’t piss you off?” Then I think about it for a while and realize, _Yeah, that fuckin’ sucks!_ By then it’s too late to confront these assholes about their insulting comments. So, you passive-aggressive bottom-feeding rooster-dick motherfuckers, I have something to say to you: SUCK MY ASS! Ah, that’s better. * * * It is much easier to see ourselves as better than or even worse than, rather than accepting that we simply are. - John “The Penguin” Bingham ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/2 "1999-12-02T14:30:00Z")
Did we really need another felching thread? Oh, wait a minute… * * * Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/3 "1999-12-02T16:48:00Z")
Canthearya: its a bit late for that isnt it 😉 bj0rn ---
**Author:** ![luluthebeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6de8d8/32.png) [@luluthebeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluthebeast)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/4 "1999-12-03T06:22:00Z")
How dull! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/5 "1999-12-02T19:15:00Z")
Dearest **lulu** : SUCK MY ASS! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/6 "1999-12-02T20:11:00Z")
What exactly would it mean to suck an ass? Is it like felching? I think that would be more accurately described by “suck my asshole.” The image I get from “suck my ass” is a whole ass going into someone’s mouth. Obviously physically difficult for the majority of people. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/7 "1999-12-02T20:20:00Z")
Depends on the mouth. Depends on the ass. Canny, he has a point, though. Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer KISS MY ASS? Or the Joycean KISS MY ROYAL IRISH ARSE? * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/8 "1999-12-02T21:36:00Z")
Revtim says: > [@](#): > > What exactly would it mean to suck an ass? Webster says: **suck** : 1 : to draw something in by or as if by exerting a suction force **my** :1 : of or relating to me or myself especially as possessor, agent, or object of an action **ass** : 1 a often vulgar : BUTTOCKS So what’s the problem? Place an exerting suction force on the buttocks belonging to me. Is that so difficult? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 1999, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/9 "1999-12-02T22:41:00Z")
Revtim- you stop talking now. Yecch! * * * JMcC, San Francisco [http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html](http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html) “Hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring” ---
**Author:** ![luluthebeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6de8d8/32.png) [@luluthebeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluthebeast)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/10 "1999-12-03T00:18:00Z")
You are a real fruit salad kind of guy, aren’t yoy Can? ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/11 "1999-12-03T02:51:00Z")
Lulu: Canthearya is a goil. Now suck **my** ass. ---
**Author:** ![luluthebeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6de8d8/32.png) [@luluthebeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluthebeast)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/12 "1999-12-03T03:03:00Z")
No, please, I insist, suck my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Phaedrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/13 "1999-12-03T03:46:00Z")
Canthearya: Suck my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/14 "1999-12-03T04:13:00Z")
Y’all got me imagining Chip & Dale doing a ‘suck my ass’ routine. Chip: Suck my ass Dale: Oh no! After you, I insist. Suck my ass. Chip: Please! Beauty before brains. Suck my ass. Dale: If you insist! Chip: I do! Dale: (shhhhrrrrllllluppp) Both: te-he…te-he …titter titter titter Chip: Shall we do it again? Both: Let’s Dale: It’s your turn to suck my ass. Chip: But of course. (shhhhrrrrllllluppp) Both: te-he…te-he …titter titter titter. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/15 "1999-12-03T07:17:00Z")
Naaaawwwww, it’s the gophers that do that. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/16 "1999-12-03T13:46:00Z")
See, I was ready to tell some other people to suck my ass today… Then I saw that sexy sexy **sly** posted something that could be construed as asking me to suck **his** ass. I came into this thread pissed off and I’m going to leave turned on. I think I’m gonna have a heart attack. I’m not changing the phrase. I like it so much because it’s insulting and funny to imagine at the same time. Oh, before **Nickrz** comes in here and berates me for getting mushy in the Pit: The following people are invited to suck my ass at their earliest convenience: 1. In-Laws 2. Nosy Neighbor Beeyatch 3. My dog’s breeder 4. My boss Please contact me at [canthearya@excite.com](mailto:canthearya@excite.com) to schedule an ass-sucking appointment. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 1999, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suck-my-ass/3253/17 "1999-12-03T15:57:00Z")
Heh, heh. Make me. * * * There’s always another beer.