# Suggest a Humorous Euphemism (kid-friendly too, please!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861 "2015-04-16T20:09:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/1 "2015-04-16T20:09:59Z")
OH great and powerful denizens of the hive mind; I come to you for assistance! Celtling has a new caretaker at her Dad’s house, who uses the name “Jesus” to express all manner of emotion from gratitude to frustration and even contempt. Celtling has picked up this tendency over the past few weeks. While I’m not a believer that copying this behavior will injure her immortal soul, I would nonetheless like to nip this in the bud if possible. We had some fun in the car the other morning trying to come up with funny replacements, but none were so compelling as to motivate her to adopt them. It’s rather a fun exercise, and even more fun if you try to remember where you got them from. We thought of: Bilge! or the more emphatic Bilgewater!! (Thank you Colonel Potter) Cheezits! (Recently stolen from Cecil himself) Christopher Columbus! (Little Women) Blast and botheration! (Winnie the Pooh) And a few Celtling originals: Squirrel scat! Frog feces! Pansy poo! Mongoose muck! (Why yes, she is in second grade, how did you know? LOL!) So, whatcha got? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/2 "2015-04-16T20:33:46Z")
My stepson was playing Call of Duty (badly) one day and was getting quite vocal in venting his frustration. His mother stepped in and told him he needed to stop playing if he couldn’t keep his language in check. The next explitive we heard was: Fudge a duckie in the pino!We have appropriated the phrase, and modified it to great comeic effect: (profanity follows)Fudge a goddam duckie in it’s motherfucking pino!We have since adopted a baby duck. It’s name is Fudge. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/3 "2015-04-16T20:34:11Z")
Not sure if this is the direction you want to go, but a fun one I heard is “jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!” also “christ on a cracker!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/4 "2015-04-16T20:41:45Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > Not sure if this is the direction you want to go, but a fun one I heard is “jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!” > > also “christ on a cracker!” > > 😃 OK, major award for Name/Post combo, but no, not the direction I’m looking to go in. LOL! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/5 "2015-04-16T20:51:25Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > We have since adopted a baby duck. It’s name is Fudge. No pictures? :mad: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/6 "2015-04-16T21:04:06Z")
For a while after my brother and I read Stephen King’s The Stand, Flagg was our euphemistic curse word of choice. (As in [Randall Flagg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randall_Flagg), the manifestation of evil.) It was just close enough to that other F word, while still being obviously different, and other Stephen King nerds got the reference. Second grade is a little too young to appreciate Stephen King, I suppose, but maybe she’ll grow into it? ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/7 "2015-04-16T21:09:48Z")
When my son was little, I adopted the old Morkism, Shazzbat. It has no real meaning, so can’t be offensive, and it’s kind of fun to say as an expletive. 🙂 Truth be told, I still use it when I’m in unfamiliar company, to avoid possible offense. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/8 "2015-04-16T21:28:54Z")
Has she read **The Illuminated Adventures of Flora and Ulysses**? It’s a wonderful Newbery-award-winning book by Kate Di Camillio and well worth reading. The epithet of choice in it is Holy Bagumba!, and my daughter loves to shout it. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/9 "2015-04-16T22:02:32Z")
Cheese and crackers! Horse hockey! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/10 "2015-04-16T22:06:34Z")
I’d be very amused to hear a little one exclaiming “empty night!” ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/11 "2015-04-16T22:18:13Z")
From Captain Haddock in Tintin: Thundering Typhoons! and Billions of Blue Blistering Barnacles! I distinctly recall using the later to vent my frustrations as a little tyke since it was the most vulgar curse I knew. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/12 "2015-04-16T22:22:12Z")
Great Caesar’s Ghost! ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/13 "2015-04-16T22:27:25Z")
Gadzooks! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/14 "2015-04-16T22:35:44Z")
“Great Googa Mooga!” is one I use around my boys (when I remember). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/15 "2015-04-16T22:43:28Z")
How about “[Krutz!](http://comic.nodwick.com/?comic=2010-09-23)”? ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/16 "2015-04-16T23:21:09Z")
I’m fond of Jellybeans, Jehosephat, or my 2nd favorite, Jiminy Cricket. I’m fondest of the traditional JFHC on a popsicle stick, but my mom hates when I do that, which is a lot, even around her sensitive ears. So did the people at work, now that I think of it. Maybe she, and I, could just say popsicle stick? ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/17 "2015-04-16T23:39:13Z")
Since Captain Haddock’s is already taken, my nautically-minded naughtiness sense shifts over to Spongebob, for: “Tartar sauce!” “Barnacles!” “Fishpaste!” ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/18 "2015-04-16T23:42:35Z")
Soccer Blue! (It will be interesting to see how long it takes for people to figure it out.) ---
**Author:** ![Nauplius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nauplius/32/51_2.png) [@Nauplius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nauplius)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/19 "2015-04-16T23:45:32Z")
Jiminy Crickets! Jumpin’ Jihad! Jackrabbit! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/20 "2015-04-17T02:13:27Z")
On the cartoon _Adventure Time_ they say “Oh my glob!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861.md?page=2)